Lord knows I've been trying. I've been thinking about everything Mimi and O-girl have been telling me. Really been working on that Plan A. Nurturing, complimenting, not taking WH for granted. Cooking fab meals. Looking at the things about me that need to be fixed. We've been together a lot this weekend. I thought things were doing pretty well.

Well, WH calls around about 10 this morning to say that work is too busy and he can't come to MC. Doesn't ask to reschedule, just says he can't come. I ask him politely to make MC a priority. He missed last week, we've been doing well and I don't want him to miss again.

So, WH makes to the session but is late. He's mad that I forced him to come when when he has so many, many things he needs to do at work. WH said he only came because I was mad. The counselor convinced him to stay for 20 minutes. She asks what issues we should deal with in those 20 minutes. He agrees we've spent some good time together this week. The counselor asks him about OW. He waffles, says he's having trouble breaking it off because he might get sued for sexual harassment. Spends a little more time being slippery. Eventually, WH admits that he cannot and will not break it off with OW. All that nice time we spent together was a sham.

Counselor is NOT happy. She looks at him and says in a quiet voice. "So, WH, you don't care that your wife is angry because you're having an affair. You don't care your wife is angry because you won't end that affair. But you don't have enough balls to not come to MC because you think your wife is angry?" He got up and walked out. He'd been there 10 minutes, tops.

MC apologized to me. Said the lies were getting to even her. I guess it's Plan B now.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> :


No cant break it off, cant help myself.


<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Feel your pain grapegirl, right there in same position. Be brave.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">All that nice time we spent together was a sham </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">THE NICE TIME is not meant to end the A or cause him to do anything different. You are only in control of yourself. Having a "nice time" with your H is reasonable and expected for you to do as a W. The A has to end on its own over time.
He will remember the "nice times" that he spends with you. They will be imprinted in his brain.

He is so full of FOG TALK!!

Your counselor is finally getting it. She is learning from this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He is following the WS Script! Believe me his A will end but not at your insistence.

It is not necessarily time for PLAN B. Keep up with your PLAN A as long as possible.

I'll do my best Mimi to keep Plan A-ing. I've thought about so many of the things that you've told me. Do I have problems with showing appreciation and follow through? Yup. It's taken me a long time to process what you've told me. I'm very sorry if you thought I was ignoring you. No! I was implementing you!

When WH and I talk, I try to talk about his work and what direction it is going. About changing our lives so his work could be less stressful. Nice dinners. Sparkling conversation. Cooperation. I sure hope that these are the things he remembers at some point. Yesterday, all he could remember was the two times all weekend I was angry. Perhaps lovebusting but justifiable anger. Both times were when he tried to back out of activities he had committed to do, a MLK day activity with DD and MC.

I imagine we won't hear from him for a few days. He's got to spend time with slimeball. She's probably mad we spent so much time together. I'm not going to call or email. I'm not going to ask for help with the kids. I'll be pleasant if spoken to.

Our counselor is getting it a little bit. She was quite good about OW this week. But then she asks me to think about at what point I cut my loses and get divorced. I'm not sure I can make it for 2 years but I sure as shooting can make it for more than 2 months.