Hey guys and gals...
I've stayed away from the boards for a while b/c I feel like I've failed in the MB principals, as I don't know what Plan I'm in right now. Well theres been some drama, the police, the lawyer.
Well as some of you know the WW moved out on Jan. 1. I was in Plan A up until the end of Dec. but I was starting to slip in my Plan A. After my WW went to see her OM#2 on Christmas night I started breaking. New years came and went. I changed the locks the day she left, but I let WW come into the house to visit with the kids, minimal contact/coversation with me. However I wouldn't let her leave with the kids, I told her I'd call the police. Well she came to try and take the kids on "her day with the kids" a schedule that she worked out FOR me so that she could have the kids on the days that she didn't work and then give them back on the days that she did, how convenient for her. Well I told her and her best GF that night that I wouldn't let her take the kids that I'd call the cops. She then talked outside on the phone with my cousin who is on the force in my town. She basically left without the kids. That night I gave her a letter I was going to give to her OM#2 detailing her STD paper from the CDC, plus the STD info that she searched on the computer that I got from the Spyware. Also saying that I didn't care what he did but I'd go and get myself checked if I was him.
I had retained a lawyer to protect myself and the kids. I initially went with the Legal Sep. but have since changed it to a D. The cops have been called to the house twice, once by me and once by her. Of course nothing happend on that end. Now WW has been served as of last week and I feel somewhat protected in the fact that since she has a separate residence now she has to have permission to come into my home so I can basically tell her to leave anytime I want to. And I've been having her call before she comes over now.
Now according to cell records my WW is on her OM#3 in three months, while I've read my 3rd book in three months. SAA, HNHN and a Christian book.
I think I've grown and learned a lot in the past three months from the books, counselor, and MIL. I have come to the conclusion that I was a decent husband (of course I wasn't perfect and I could have done many things much better) and that my WW's affairs were never about me not meeting EN's it's about her maturity and her wanting to lead a singe life. Things that no husband good or bad would stand for.
So at this point we are still in the very, very early stages of a D. I was actually looking forward to this in the fact that I'm completely OFF the rollercoaster. In fact I've thought about going out and picking up some ladies. Although I KNOW that would be wrong and I'm not ready or really want that. I just want the physical touch of a woman, it's just a need that I have. I guess SF is/has always been one of my top EN.
I've stayed away from the boards b/c I feel like I've failed all the veterans here in not being able to stay the course. Also for feeling guilty about wanting to get off the rollercoaster and fulfill my physicall need with another woman right now.
Thanks for the concern.
Native
