Just a reminder to deal fully with the affair in your family, because how you deal with it will have huge reprucussions on the life of your children.

I am not saying that my H's A is because his father had an A. Just because there are striking similarities between their A's is no reason to blame anyone else for my H's actions.

However, my H's inabillity to forgive himself is very much related to his childhood experience of not dealing with forgiving his father and beliving to the very core of his 10 year old soul that he could never do anything so aweful to the people he loves.

I'm not saying that you're children will have affairs or anything like that (although there is a greater risk I've heard), but teaching them forgiveness can only be benificial to their long term health.

Your children will be able to accect forgiveness if they have also learned how to give it.

Good point Loy and somber words to ponder. I think we as parents shouldn't hide situations from our children. Instead in a constructive manner, teach our children how to handle situations and show them by example how we handle difficult situations.

My son knows how devastating it is....right now H's younger SIL is been crazy with her A and is just a horrible person to everyone except those who approve the A. Her H is in denial and is being used big time to enable the A. My son who is only 10 sees it and worries for his uncle and cousins. He doesn't know all the details but he is a perceptive child. It doesn't take much for kids to figure out there is a problem. The challenge is to help them see it is not about them and that they can make sure they don't do the same.

Thanks for this thread. Hope more read it.

How are you doing?

L.