This is getting beyond belief. It almost seems that every 'nice' thing she does is only designed to throw me off:
WW: "Let's get together and talk"
Me: "Ok, hon"
WW: "Good, here's what you did to me 12 years ago. I can't forgive you for that, because you are an abusive man and I don't need to be in an abusive relationship"

Now I understand from Dr. Harley that abuse is best seen by the abused victim, so if I am an abusive person, I would really appreciate the info - I'd be glad to change it. I don't see it! I must have some sort of blinders on. I wish she'd post on here - maybe her viewpoint would help clear up some of my confusion....maybe.

She told me that I could pick our marriage cousellor - as long as it's not Dr. Harley, so I'v been calling dr. after dr. She asked me why I didn't have one yet (I finally found one who sounded really interested in MB - is going to check out the website tonight) and when I told her ahwt questions I was asking, she laid into me for how totally selfish I am, always wanting things MY way. I told her that I was truly being selfish - I want our marriage to be a long, happym loving one together and I was trying to find a counsellor who would be willing to help us do all we could to get that goal. She said I'm just trying to find someone that will take my side of the argument against her.

Does this get worse, or do the fog lights come on at some time to lead us home?

So sorry you are going through this, but be encouraged, at least you are getting the chance at MC.

I think the bottom of my sig answers your question.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Hosea_2004:
<strong> So sorry you are going through this, but be encouraged, at least you are getting the chance at MC.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If she actually goes thru with it - all her friends and her new IC seem to be against doing anything that may favor my side of the story....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I think the bottom of my sig answers your question. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL. Thanks - it seems to answer quite well.

<small>[ January 21, 2005, 08:14 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

Call Cerri. She's not Dr. Harley.... Jennifer Chalmbers for that matter is also not Dr Harley but they are great at phone counseling and very familar with MB.

YOu see her need to fight you? Go with the flow and swing it back to the sanity side.

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> Call Cerri. She's not Dr. Harley.... Jennifer Chalmbers for that matter is also not Dr Harley but they are great at phone counseling and very familar with MB.

YOu see her need to fight you? Go with the flow and swing it back to the sanity side.

L. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Could you explain 'go with the flow and swing it back to sanity a bit better? I feel like I'm the crazy one!

Orchid - your advice is always so sound - but I am really stuck here. I DO see her need to fight me, and have never understood it - this has been an ongoing theme throughout our entire marriage. I sat at work today and made a list of all the things that I regularly get criticized for - just sets of 4-5 word sentences - I intended to do the positive after that - but I had to stop at 8 pages. I couldn't think of anything positive other than she looks great and is wonderful with the kids.

I'm trying hard to find a reason to go forth with this love, but her new, more virile, voracious form of attack has me at a loss - I can't RB because I sound like a fool and she just says, "Well, aren't you so clever now!" I don't want to fight, but I sure could use some means of turning things back - I've read your posts on RBs and it seems they are more fit for plan B - is there a way to do it in plan A?
ALSO - Who is Cherri?

My wife keeps tabs n all the money in the house, I have to explain every cent I spend, so it might be hard to do that. Of course, she can spend all kinds of money on champaign and other luxuries, but only for important people, like the ones that come over every night...

Oh oh - gotta stop - getting bitter again. I made a vow not to dis her at all any more. It won't help, and it doesn't feel good to me.

David