It's my birthday....you know cards and presents....people who love you telling you happy birthday....what a f*cking joke.

My husband doesn't love me anymore, my DD13 just called from her Dad's to ask if she could spend the night at my sisters....didn't remember that it even was my b-day, and I'm sure not telling her.

My DD10 got me a present, and told me happy birthday.....It was sweet, I told her thank you kissed her and gave her a big hug.

All I can do is sit here and remember other birthdays when my husband gave a sh*t if I lived or died, when he bought me flowers and cards and took me out to dinner.....all I can do is sit here and cry.

This sucks so bad....what he can't even call and tell me happy birthday?!?!?! [censored] him, [censored] his OW......**** this whole day.

-Caren

<small>[ January 23, 2005, 10:40 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Happy Birthday Caren!!!


I understand what you are feeling!!! Didn't you go out with a friend for dinner? How did that go?

Hey Caren,

I had my first "solo" birthday last weekend, and I know how you feel. It doesn't feel like a reason to celebrate at all. Right now I don't feel like I'll ever want to party it up for my birthday again, and it's actually something that I'm glad is over with and won't come around for another year.

I know it stinks, but it's just another indicator of the fog's mind-control over your WH. Hang in there........

Monkey

Oh Caren Happy Birthday to you...so sorry your feeling so bad. Do you have family? Maybe get out ot house and go visit someone -friends ?? Dont' think about WH adn I know that is hard - today is bad for me too. It is 2 month todya since DD and WH is still so deep in FOG. He is trying but just not gettin IT. his is a tough time for all of us and we need to be strong but we also have to accept the fact we are human nd have feelings. It is OK to break down however we also need to try and plan things ahead so we do not just sit and dwell on the negative. Hold your head up -I saw your pic and you are lovely -be preoud of who you are -dress up real nice and sing yourself the B-Day song. Say to yourself if he won't have me then he is the fool .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAREN!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Caren

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))


I know it's not much from a stranger....but it's sincere! My B-day a month ago was marked with a huge fight! Not fun!

DD

Happy birthday Caren!!!!!!

My worst was the Christmas eve I wasn't invited to MY mothers house but FWW and our kids were. Mom didn't want any problems and after all I'm the strong one and all. I remember going and riding the horse I had bought my son for Chirstmas in sub zero weather thinking if I'm lucky I'll just freeze to death and be put out of my misery.

But guess what? The sun came up the next day and so did I. In time FWW came back to me and now we are working on the living happily ever after part... IT CAN HAPPEN... trust me!

Try to have a good day and always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CAREN- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

My husband too treated me like cr@p for my 25th birthday- even had the OW over when I got home from work- but I was determined to have a great day- spent a few hours with my kids and then went out with a girl friend- H soaked me with the hose and then locked me out of the house when my friend showed up- I went out anyway (it was July 1st- so hot) I had a great time with no presents because I was not going to let my H ruin everything. I have no regreats from that day but my H still feels guilty. My point is do not give your H so much power- go live a little for you- remember who you were before all this pain and hurt and make the day great FOR YOU!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm so sorry you are alone on your specail day. Is there anyone you can call and go out with? Family?
My b-day is coming up on March 4th. I've already told my friends that I want to go out and celebrate. My parents are also coming to visit so I won't be alone.
You are a strong woman....you will be ok. Dress up and make your day happy!!!!! You can do it!
I truly hope you have a good b-day. What's your email address????

Happy birthday Caren. Your day will be what YOU make of it. {{Caren}}

Thank You Everyone --

Tree, email addy is : the_pieces_of_my_broken_heart@yahoo.com

I went upstairs to torture myself a little bit more and got out the cards my WH has given me....one from last year that says:

My Wife, My Love
All I need
Are your arems
around me
when I fall asleep,
your smile
when I awake
and the
promise
of having your love
in my life
till I run out
of days on this earth.

Happy Birthday My Love,
On your "28"(36) birthday
Love you always
Your lovin' husband
WH "2004"
[He always puts the year on every card he gives me]

(I've been telling people for years it's not my XX birthday, it's the anniversary of my 28th birthday...so I guess today is the 9th anniversary of my 28th b-day)

My DD10 saw me crying and asked me what was wrong....I just said "Mommy's just sad, It's my birthday and Daddy's gone, and I just feel sad" she knew that DD13 had called and she said "Did DD13 tell you happy birthday?!?!" I said "No, she must have forgotten" I went upstairs, and apparently she was down here on a calling rampage, called DD13 and yelled at her for not telling me happy birthday.....called my sister and said "Did you know it's Mommy's birthday?" She said "yes" She said "Why didn't you call her?" Called WH....don't know what she said to him (I didn't know she was calling anyone, I was in my bedroom being miserable)....so she comes upstairs with the phone and it's DD13 "Mom, I didn't think you wanted to remember your birthday, that's why I didn't say anything....Happy Birthday" Then my sister calls laughing that my daughter had called and said "Sheesh, it was only like 10am, I didn't know if you were awake....Happy Birthday" Then my WH calls "I answer...and can't disguise I've been crying, he says "Happy Birthday.....what's wrong?" I said "Nothing" He said "Something's wrong...what's wrong?" I said "Nothing, I'm just sad" He said "Are you sad because you're a year older?" I said "No, I don't care about that" He said "Oh...." Then he said "Are you still going to dinner with Casey?" I said "Yeah" He said "The roads are pretty bad, be careful" I said "I will" He said "What time do you think you'll be back?" I said "I don't know, I wouldn't think too long since it's bad out" (I'm trying really hard to stop crying while I'm talking to him, but I can't) I said "Are you sure you can't spend some time with us tonight?" He said "Yes Caren, I can" I didn't say anything, I said "Okay, I won't keep you on here" He said "Happy Birthday Baby" I said "Thank You" and got off the phone.

I know I shouldn't have asked him, but I just want so badly to be with him....I didn't beg, I just simply asked.....he doesn't like it when I cry, never could stand it.....it makes him melt, but still I try not to do it.

So I don't know what I've just done to myself with him, but at least he gives a sh*t.

-Caren

Still crying....by the way

**Edited because I put WH's actual name on here**

<small>[ January 22, 2005, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

{{{{Caren}}}}}}

Keep your chin up! I know it's hard. Things will get better.

HaPpY bIrThDaY tO yOu ~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ~ HaPpY bIrThDaY tO yOu ~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ~ HaPpY bIrThDaY dEaR cArEn ~ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ~ HaPpY bIrThDaY tO yOu! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !

Caren,

It's your birthday so go try and enjoy it. I know it's hard and you'll probably have to force yourself to at first.

Maybe go out and do something fun and/or crazy with you ten year old during the day. Try and call up some friends for something to do tonight. Go buy yourself a little something.

The day before my 32nd birthday was the day my WH came home after a one year deployment. I woke up to hear him say, I don't want to work on this, I've never loved anyone the way I do OW, I realize now that I was just going through the motions all these years, and the worst...You're a good wife and a great mother, but I can't live my life without OW because just being away from her this much is hurting me more than I ever hurt being away from you.

Happy birthday to me! I tell you this because as hard as it was that morning to hear those things, I walked out of the room, went downstairs and put on a cute little outfit and sexy shoes. I got dolled up and went to lunch with a girlfriend, went to the mall, took in a movie and then went home and enjoyed my kids.

The day was SO much better for my having walked out that door to do something for me.

That actually set the tone for my entire Plan A. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, Happy Birthday! Go enjoy it. It's your day.

{{{{{{{{Caren}}}}}}}}

Happy birthday, sister. My birthday back in August was one of the toughest days of my whole saga.

GC

TY TY Everyone, I'm feeling a little better. I still have this sort of heavy feeling in my chest, but I'm sure it'll go away in a year or two...lol.

I am going out with my friend for dinner tonight....this weather today sucks big time...it's very icy/snowy today....so yippee...I won't be out for long, my friend I'm going out with is only 21 so of course that's all she wants to do, party till she pukes....I don't wanna do that. Apparently my WH is going to come back here when I get home....I know he really loves me in there somewhere......he doesn't like to see me upset....I usually don't let him, but I couldn't avoid it today, my DD10 was on a mission. Just him agreeing to come here makes me feel like there's some hope of ever getting out of this fricken mess...still going to plan B after taxes, but I'd like to get in as much time with him as I can before then....I'm as addicted to him as he is to the OW. *sigh*

-Caren

Happy birthday Caren <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ! Try to enjoy it with some friends.
On my birthday last year my husband send me an email saying, that hw wanted to file for divorce, not even remembering my b-day.

Not much has changed since then, he tells me he wants to come back to live with us but who knows?!

Have a great day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caren -

Time to start cheering up and treating yourself well. When all is said and done, one of two things will happen - he will decide to work on the marriage, and you will be happy OR you will decide you are better off without him, and you will be happy.

After 2 years of this, my WH is still with OW, and I don't even think about him anymore. I haven't talked to him in a couple of months, and I don't care. It's such a nice feeling. You will get there too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

believer...Oh how I pray I will get there soon. I am doing pretty good but can't wait for the day to come when I don't even give him a second thought.
We'll both get there Caren...one way or another.

I am thinking of putting this card he gave me last year on top of the TV, I know he told my daughter earlier in the week he was going to get me a card for my birthday, but what exact catagory is he going to get it from....the I'm sorry I'm f*cking you over, but happy b-day anyway section?

So would that also be manipulative of me, to have a card that he gave me last year telling me how much he loved me out because it's my birthday?

-Caren

I say go for it....put the card out!!!!!!!