We never had a good marriage. He drank a lot and there was verbal (calling me names about my weight, 30lbs overweight according to my doctor) On occassion physical abuse. A few years ago I told him he either quits drinking and gets professional help or our kids and I were leaving. Things changed, he quit drinking and got help. He got a promotion at work and things seemed to be going pretty good. Then, 2 months later after his promotion he said he wanted a D, he wasn't happy, I wasn't happy, ect. So I kicked him out. I still loved him but he wanted to D so he wasn't going to stay w/ us. The A started w/ his co-worker that he hired to be his assistant. I moved away. During the time we were separted and he was having his A I lost about 20lbs. I couldn't eat, or sleep. When I did eat I would get sick. When we had our court date for child support he called me afterwards and told me how great I looked and kept going on and on about it. A few months later he called begging me back, said he made a mistake, blah, blah, blah. This went on for weeks. Since I loved him I wanted to make the marriage work. But I told him he needed to go back to counseling to work on his anger issues. The marriage was going great the first year after getting back 2gether. But, I got a new job working at a daycare and their food isn't exactly low calorie or low in fat (have to eat w/ the children). I gained all the weight back in a years time. I should of watched how much I ate but needless to say I didn't. Now, I am back to being about 30 lbs overweight again and the verbal abuse is starting back again about my weight. WTH was I thinking taking him back!?! I am good enough for him when I am at my ideal weight but when I put some weight back on he thinks he can start calling me degrading names again when we disagree about something? I am only 20-30 lbs OW, not 100 or more! I don't think I look that bad but yes, I would love to be thin again and I am trying. I think I made the BIGGEST mistake by taking him back. Not only is the A having an effect on our M but now his verbal abuse. I still love him but wondering if I shouldn't divorce him, which I should of done in the first place!

Okay, you have him back. Now you need to work on making the changes that you can make on yourself.
There is little you can do to change your husband.

However, I think you may want to seek some counseling to figure out why you want this man at all. He should be loving you and protecting you - not abusing you.

I agree with believer....he should be loving you not abusing you! You deserve to be treated with respect. Be strong!!!!

TRF,

That is the most scary thing about this whole thing isn't it. Taking back the dog that bit you.

{{{{ TRF }}}}