A quick question I really didn't have to deal with before... haven't had intimate relations with WH since the A started (99.5% certain of that)He had a back injury!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Now know WH did not protect himself and know OW was sleeping with at least 2 men at the same time. She told me "I'm clean" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Whatever!!!

Assuming I may ever want to be intimate with this man again, how does he get tested? Where? How long do you suppose I should wait? I am a nurse and know the practicalities here, I know all about Hep C (I work in transplant) and HIV, plus have a pretty good clue of the other STDs.

Looking for some thoughts of the been-there-done-that sort. What did you do? Suggestions?

Hi MS,

I found out that my WW got an STD from her first OM, she is now on her OM#3. I found a letter from the CDC in my town stating that she got tested and received treatment. I also know that she was researching STD's on our home computer thanks to the spyware that I put on.

For your questions I would say that your WH could probably go to any clinic or hospital to get tested or even try calling the CDC in your town. They'll let you know where to go. Since your a nurse you probably know better than us laymen of what kind of STD's are out there and the timeframe for them. I've been told that most STD's won't show up for 3-6 months, and that HIV can even take longer to appear.

Maybe you can shed some light on that.
Native

Hi MS,

I don't know where you are living, but most towns have an STD clinic ( I know, how gross) where you can get competent diagnosis/rx. Planned Parenthood is very good at this. I wouldn't go to my private GYN provider b/c if they're not doing STD testing every day ( and seriously EVERY day) they may not be doing it right and they can miss it. I know, I am a healthcare provider and I do STD testing - there is a right way and a wrong way.

If the thought of going to an STD clinic is awful, go to another town/city where no one knows you. Obviously, your H has to go, too.

I got tested the day after Dday. My H didn't use protection either(!?!). And the OW had other lovers. And we don't have any idea of what her H was doing.

Good luck. This is hard, but you'll get through.
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me-50 FWH-44 M-20 yrs 3 kids A-2/03-5/04 dday-5/8/04 fog-5/04-9/04 ncltr 9/03/04 In recovery with God's help

Well, I know there are waiting periods, of course I kow that some things are not immediately detectable. Sick to my stomach that I have to worry about this at all!!

As an RN, I know alot in the medical community, so want to go somewhere outside my system. I also want to make sure enough time has elapsed that I am comfortable with the results.

Why are the such idiots?! I mean, geez, in this day and age!!!???

Everything I have found so far says 4-6 weeks for the "plain ole" STDs and 3-6 months for the HIV!!!

I am beginning to feel hatred and rage... Good thing he is not here!

I am so sorry you are going through this. One of the ones that he can get and might not show up is herpes. He can get it and barely have symptoms so much to the point that he thinks its jock itch. If you do a search on herpes you will find this out. And it can be years down the road that it is transmitted to you. Unfortunately I know this by experience however I have no proof of an affair other than this but he could have also had it prior to our marriage. ITs extremely frustrating. There is a blood test you can do and its called the Western Blot. Not sure the time frame after being exposed. Sorry.