My husband had lunch with another woman and carried on phone conversations and e-mails. She was known to us as we see her in our community and she was quite open about her flirting even if I was there (she's also 10 years younger)

"She" opened a can of worms in my husband and he began chatting online (@ work) with 3 other women (apparently it's a real ego-stroker).

He told me about the lunch and phone calls when he was angry at me one night for something stupid. We didn't "seem" to have any problems, in fact things were "great". I guess anyone would be happy if they had 5 women stroking their ego simultaneously and that happiness emits to the whole family so I didn't notice a thing.

The online women.....I contacted them and told them he was married, please do not contact him again.

#1 replied: She was very, very sorry, she did not know, she hadn't spoken to him in a couple of months, please accept her apologies.

#2 replied: "Does he cheat on you often? You should leave him!" "Let's set him up! I will arrange to meet him and you can catch him in the act!" (Psycho - she hadn't spoken to him in the same length of time)

#3 replied: She can send me "parts" of the e-mails that he sent her!

He has been very honest since he told me about the "Lunch Lady" and was VERY, VERY embarassed when I found out about the online contacts.

He is in counselling, we have been married for 16 years and have 3 children.

My question: If she sends me this info should I read it?

What could I possible gain from it but I am very curious. I'm sure that we would take steps back if I did read it.

I really think I know the answer to this one but I would really appreciate everyone's input (to read and not to read) so that I will stop wondering and kill this curiosity that I'm sure would be unproductive.

Thanks

Welcome to MB.....

Reading OWs e-mails are hard to do. Do you think you can stomach it? How will reading them benefit your M? Is your H saying he is done with this A stuff?

See how the 3 different OWs responded differently? That is why posting here helps. Ows run in the same race but at different paces and many different reactions. A few of them actually have multiple personalities. LOL!!!

Maybe a 3rd party to reading them would help. YOu have a good IC/MC? You may find others w/b less tolerable than you are being. Of course this is affecting your family direclty so you w/b more inclined to be more sensitve.

Me, I would read it. I felt I needed to know and boy....did I find stuff out.... truth intermixed with lies.....lots of lies.....stupidity and just plain chaos. OWs in particular love chaos. MOst don't start the day without it. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> just kdding..... or???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

I will read them. It hurt me lots but opened my eyes at the time to lots of lies and stuff going on with WH and OW.

Good luck! Love

You bet I would read them. I know it maybe hard but I would want to know what was going on between him and the OW. Sorry you are dealing w/ this.
My H's OW didn't email him nor did he email her b/c she didn't have the internet. If I would of seen any emails to or from her, I would of read them, and printed them out.

I am sorry you are going through this. If you don't read the emails will this be in the back of your mind for the rest of your marriage? Will it be something that might be there to prevent your recovery? I myself would read the emails because the more I know the more I understand things. I can deal with knowing more than not. Also ask what will this change if I read or don't read these. Take care

I read my Wh e-mails -I found them by accident -I have printed off copies and if I need them for court they are hidden in my desk at work. Good luck -it tore my heart right out of my chest. WH still denies everything -he can not and will not face the truth.

"She" opened a can of worms in my husband and he began chatting online (@ work) with 3 other women (apparently it's a real ego-stroker).

change that thought and sentiment...to HE your husband did this inspite of anything the OP did or said...onus of responsibility still lies with your husband......


#3 replied: She can send me "parts" of the e-mails that he sent her!

He has been very honest since he told me about the "Lunch Lady" and was VERY, VERY embarassed when I found out about the online contacts.

He is in counselling, we have been married for 16 years and have 3 children.


the question and answer here is...

why not ask your husband for exact specifics of the HIS email contacts...

he is the one to tell you what HE wrote
he is the one to tell you what HE said.....

he if truly interested in fixing HIS issue..needs to be honest.....

what has HE said when you asked him what the emails said......

start with him...

ARK