My WH has gone pretty much completely dark on us since he walked out of our MC session on Tuesday. He briefly spoke to the kids (and I mean a couple of sentences to each) at DS's sports event on Thursday. He and I commuicated via email on Friday. And that's that. No phone calls to the kids or me. No asking DD over to spend the night at his apartment. No showing up at DD's game. Nothing.

After last weekend, when we spent a lot of time together and he burned me big, I have not reached out to him. Does Plan A mean I'm suppose to be reaching out to him? My feelings have been very tender and I haven't wanted to put them out there. To be honest, our only communication is about $ and DS's sport. And we all know that the only reason WH's involved with DS is because this year DS is a winner. The season goes until mid-February.

MB gurus who are still speaking to me, where am I? Should I be reaching out more with my asbestos gloves? Or is this a natural progression? In our email, I reminded him that we still have a MC appt. on Tuesday. Not much hope that he will come through...

Any chance he would be responsive to one last "date" which probably should include SF?

Do you feel comfortable with this?

IMHO, his last memories of you before PLAN B should be positive.

The DEMANDS prior to and during the last counseling session were LBs. I wouldn't expect him to come to the session or even want him to. Perhaps think about E-Mailing regarding a date and excuse him from the counseling session. Going to counseling may make him feel "beat up", as my FWH used to say, because he knows that he is not currently capable of breaking it off from the OW.

Grape, I really understand your actions and how you are feeling about your H. My recommendations to you are based solely on how I interpret the MB principles. These principles are not natural to me. They don't follow what I would normally do.

I just closed off my natural instincts and followed the principles. Anyone who knows my story remembers how I fought, alot like you, following these principles. However, when I followed the principles, they worked for me. That's why I am such a believer.

You go ahead and do what's comfortable for you and I will be supportive. All of this crap is awful for us. I hate that you have to go through this.

I'm going to send him an email about missing our Sunday "date" night. Maybe he needs the door cracked.

I doubt any SF will be involved. WH has weird things about SF. He even says he's not having SF with OW. Yet another issue.

Let you know what happens.

If I may ask, how old are you and how old is your WH? How old is the OW? Do you think there are any issues with Mid Life Crisis? That was the case in my sitch.

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

WH is 51 and I'm 49. It's just 'way too cliche to be left right before you turn 50. I definitely think he's having some kind of midlife crisis. Our younger son even asked him that point black and got answered "Maybe" People ask me if he's on drugs or has a chemical imbalance. Something is really weird about him.

Please check out my new thread. I'd value your advice.

Don't you find it interesting that we are in the same age group?

I have learned that my WH changed during his middle-aged crisis. I also changed having just turned 50. He has become more interested in affection and admiration, less interested in focusing on work. His ENs changed!!!! Do you think this is true for your WH?

Also, what about SF? My WH became anxious about changes in that area, too, because of age. Younger OW really helped with his need for an ego boost.

Have you seen the movie, THE CLEARING? You might want to check it out. I don't want to give away the reason that I am suggesting this movie...

The OW is about 4 years younger than I am. So, not that younger. Maybe WH is just blustering when he talks about how much he loves his work. Maybe we should talk about the future more.

I suppose now I should start reading up on MLC too.