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Joined: Jul 2004
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Last week one of my buddies at work confided in me. He knew about my marital situation.

Turns out his wife is cheating on him. She wants a divorce, she claims that the OM is "just a friend" His children, 5 & 7 years old have been exposed to OM many times - even stayed at his house. His WW brings OM to church with her.

Lots of typical Affair behaivor. She is abusing drugs also. My friend is a deeply religous man.

That was last week. He doesn't know what to do ... He says she is behaving self destructive, using drugs, drinking heavily, late hours, skipping work, neglecting the kids.

Today on the TV her picture is on the News. She is being held in Jail. She was involved in a hit and run accident - it was a fatality.

He could use some prayers.

.

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consider it done...he's added to the prayer list!

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WOW, this sounded word for word like my FWW, okay except for the OM in church part, until I got to the hit and run part.... wow except for the grace of God go I.

Prayers

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My sitch exactly until the H&R. Will include on prayer list! Sorry for your friend TJ. He's going to need you as his friend now more than ever!

FR

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My prayers are with your friend. Have you shown him this site at all?

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I hope the first thing your friend did after seeing the paper was to call a lawyer and get custody of his kids immediately.

I don't know what state your friend lives in, but in some states he could be held liable in a lawsuit from the victim's family. Community property, community assets, etc. He needs to document everything he can about the fact that she was no longer living with him, but it might not make a difference. That's why he needs a lawyer. ASAP

But the children come first.

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I will keep your friend in my prayers!

I agree with starz!

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I want to thank you all for your prayers and your responses.

I admit my eyes watering up a little as he told me ... brought back all those terrible DDay feelings. Feelings I wouldn't wish on my enemies, not even my own STBX.

I often had told my STBX when she had completely screwed me over, (prior to D-Day) that I wish I could do what she had done to me .. but I didn't have it in me to be that way. (though now I realize that I had not been as good as I thought I had)

Chack
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My prayers are with your friend. Have you shown him this site at all? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was a little scared to do that. I mean, most know some of what has happened, but not all the garbage my STBX has perpetrated on myself and my children, He is not that close of a friend that I would share that with him. But at the same time I don't want to rob him of the help he could get on these boards.

I will direct him here.

Starz, I gave him some legal advice ... well more so told him to get some from a reliable attny. When I heard about the tragedy his WW participated in the first thing I thougt was how much she has screwed up the whole family. I too was worried what liability she may be to him from a civil lawsuit point of view.

But now it looks like her actions may even cause him to possibly lose his home and rob his children of the future that was possible.

I just hurt so much for him. He was the all-american boy. Clean cut, God-fearing, never have a bad word kind of man.

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 04:05 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just hurt so much for him. He was the all-american boy. Clean cut, God-fearing, never have a bad word kind of man.


Unfortunately even good people get screwed. I'm so sorry for your friend.
{{{{{TJ's friend}}}}}}...you too of course!

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: TreeReich ]</small>

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Prayers to your friend -may god smile done on him and his children.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tom Joad:
Today on the TV her picture is on the News. She is being held in Jail. She was involved in a hit and run accident - it was a fatality.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gosh, my problems seem smaller all of a sudden.

Was his wife high or drunk?

Prayers for all of them.

Pep

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prayers, TJ...and some for you too for helping out this acquaintance in his time of need.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just hurt so much for him. He was the all-american boy. Clean cut, God-fearing, never have a bad word kind of man. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He still is. Bad things happen to good people. They are still good people. Just keep loving and caring for him and supporting him as best you can. He will need every friend he has for quite a long time.

Sometimes, helping others who have greater tragedies than ours help us cope with our own.
God bless you both.

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TJ, so sorry about your friend. A really good book if you want to help him is "When God Doesn't Make Sense" by Dr. James Dobson.

Will keep your friend in my prayers.

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That's awful Tom.....I will pray for him and his family right now...I'm sure that her fog is clearing now, and she sees her mistake....too late now.

-Caren

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TJ,

Sorry about your friend. I have also found myself teary I feel when friends and co-workers find out about the betrayl of a loved one. It just that you can honestly understand every bit of pain that they feel because you have felt it yourself.

I understand not feeling comfortable having someone you know reading or posting here. I share so much more of myself and my thoughts here than I do with even friends, family or even my counselor. I don't have to see the people here everyday, I don't have to deal with rumors or gossip with what I share here because for the most part we are nameless and faceless individuals united in pain. I don't have to face the embarressment and humilitation I would if I knew all of you in person. It is just not a "emotionally" safe place.

I would admire you if you did help your friend by guiding him here. He probably needs your friendship right now. As you know it helps to have someone that understands.

Cathy

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TJ,

My heart goes out to your friend, and I just said a prayer for him. He is living one of the biggest fears I had during the time my XH was still just a WH and I was legally married to him. My XH is an alcoholic, and began drinking heavily again (and messing around a bit with some other drugs) when his affair started, most likely to numb the guilt and pain.

Doesn't matter--the fact was, he drove drunk frequently and I lived in almost constant fear that he'd either be killed or he'd kill someone else and all we'd worked for as a family for nearly 20 years could be lost, because of his stupidity.

Your friend and his family need prayers of support during this terrible time, but he's also going to need lots of prayers going forward to help him get past the anger and resentment he will feel if he does end up losing everything because of her stupid mistake.

You may not be that close a friend overall, but I'll bet having someone who understands what he's been going through will mean more than you know to him. That's been the frustrating part of my situation--you don't wish it on anyone, but you also often feel like others who offer all this well-meaning advice just don't "get it" because they haven't experienced it. You have....and if he comes here to MB, many others have, too.

LL


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