If you read my last post you will know that I wasn't sure who the low life OW was, she had sex in our home, in our bed, & wore my brand new lingerie with the tags still on, and stretched it out where anyone can see someone else bigger had wore'n it, other then the nasty stains left on it.
I found out today who the OW is. Unfortunatly through our 7 y/o DD. Seems WH has taken her with him to talk to her. Yes it is who I had thought. She is only 19,and still lives home with her parent's! She just graduated high school last June, and their payiing for her collage. I want to confront her, but don't know what to say, and deffinatly don't want to lose it. I already confronted husband with info using someone else has the person who told me they saw them talking. He flat out denied even knowing this person, however he does know who I mean she works in a place we go to often. He says lets get this person and ask them what they saw. I didn't want my DD in the middle of it. Thats why I used someone else. Now what.
I am tired of this, I have been tring Plan A, but it doesn't matter to him. To him it just gives him permission sort of to have the best of both worlds. Even if he is dening her. What can I say to her that might be affective? She is only 19 not to bright. I also relizse that these younger women today really don't care about breaking up marriages, and hurting the children of these marriages.
I truly think it isn't anything more then sex, so far. However he still expects to be with me! God I can't stand it. I am sure if a guy her age came around with some money, and a hot car she would be gone. What do I do now?


BS 47, WH 35,
Met 6/21/91
Dated 6years
Married 2/24/96
DD 7,

<small>[ January 24, 2005, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Fantasia ]</small>

Have you exposed the A to her parents? If not, why not? Confronting her won't do any good. She knows he's married and she doesn't care about or respect you. She isn't worth your energy. Use that energy to make yourself a stronger and better person. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Don't confront the OW, out her to her parents. If she were your daughter, would you be pleased that you are paying for the education of a girl that is having an A with a MM? Ugh..what your H did sickens me, I am sorry but wearing your clothing is disgusting. Sorry, not very MB like. Hugs to you.

Also as I was told here get checked out for STD's - I would also tell people at her job...She is young and stupid -go to MC or IC -read all the tings in this site. Come back and tell us more the people here are so great...

It is my opinion that men that get in relationships with 18,19,20 year olds...are in a different catagory then affairs with people not so close to the minor-age category....

It is my opinion that this type of relationship carries a smack of abuse if not... with out question an unfair and unlevel playing field...

18-19 year olds are not capable of having the life experiences that 35 year old males do...

this type of relationship is extra damaging to the psyche of someone so young....and your husband is the perpetrator of thus....

you need to expose the affair to her parents...just as when your child is nineteen and living at home...would you want to know this information....


I for one would not engage in plan A with a grown MAN abusing a near minor...

I would go immediately to plan B....without looking back....

and getting back together would take a lot more than no contact....

the scales are tipped in your husbands favor...of using power, control and life experience to control this OW....

ARK

The OW has a very common last name. Her heritage by last name. Her heritage by last name would intacate that if they knew they would be very upset. But there are so many, with out knowing her address I am lost. However there is this number that keeps showing up on our phone bill, landline, and cell combined. I have called it but a guy always answers it. On the cell bill it gives the name of the town,which isn't very far from us. If it were a cell # wouldn't it say mobile on the bill, but instead it gives the name of the town. Seeing how she still lives at home, maybe someone else is answering it. It is always a long call too, 5 or more mintues, should I call and ask for her by name?

my H messed around with a 19 y/o as well- still living at home. When I told her parents they were DEVISTATED- as they had told her parents a different reason for me kicking them out (at the time we had taken her in as she needed a place to stay- as a friend to her family- little did I know what would come of that) any way my point is find a way to tell the parents- did not do much but it made them aware.

He is in his 40s what is this a mid life crises?

oh yeah and another thing- I did confront her about what she was doing- as she was my "friend" and what she was doing to the kids she "so cared about" (6,2,3months)- she told me they were soul mates and that he was trapped into marrying me and that I treated him like Cr@p <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .. All it did was push her harder to be with H just to rub it in my face. It hurt me tremendously and did little to no good in the situation. Just a thought

what do you suggest I do? Should I find out where she lives by asking her? She doesn't know that I know, so to ask when I go where she works may not be to far fetched, It's just that I have a fear of confronting her, WHY?

I truly think you need to tell her parents. UGGGHHHHHH...what is with these yong girls messing around with married men. It really irritates me!!
My WH's OW is one year yonger than me so It's a little differnt. It can't possibly last with this young girl. I would definitely confront her and her parents.
{{{Fantasia}}}}}

A natural fear of the unknown. Have you tried looking up her phone number on-line? What you do is go to your local phone company website mine is dex.com- and hit reverse search- enter the phone number and it will give you a name and address of the phone number you entered- unless it is a cell phone they do not have the ability to find the billing address for those- at least not here. Hope it helps.

Does he have a cell? I looked up my WH's call history on his cell bill online and found a number that kept showing up....then I did what KMEJ suggested....I found her home address and full name. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I then called by using *67 and listen to her voice on her answering machine. GAG...she has an ugly french accent.
Good luck!

I put the number in reverse, and get nothing. It has to be an unlisted number. It can't be a cell because it shows up on the phone bill with the name of the city next to it. If it were a cell I would think it would say mobile, like the others. When I enter her name with the city, and state I get over 200 listings, how do I know which is hers.I am about ready to lose it. Tonight he told me how much he loves me, and that I am the only one since we met, Yuk! barff! I am sick... He wanted to be with me, I had to lie, and this really stinks. After all he is gettimg his needs met. What am I suppose to do, NOTHING! I am only human as well, too bad his friends are all dorks...

Is he still w/ her? Mail your lingerie along with a letter to her parents and say that she entered your home, went into your bed and put on these clothes. Then left them dirty on your floor.

As for the phone #, you can track it through internet companies.... put in a request to do a reverse phone search and you can pay a few bucks to find out the billing address if it is a cell phone or location if it is a landline.

L.

Again it is my opinion in this case that you expose to the parents for the safety of this girl...

being released from high school less than a year ago...she hasn't the mentality nor life experiences to even cleary understand the impact of her actions...

I lay most of the blame of this situation on the WS....16 YEARS her senior..

when I was nineteen I did not posess the mentality nor barely the desire to engage in healthy relationships with my PEERS let alone a grown married man.....

at 19.20,21...I was pretty materialistic...and pretty much out for a good time....

not sure i hurt people..but can't say that I would have been aware of doing so...or having much motivation to care....

If a 35 year old man was messing with my nineteen year old daughter living at home was in my world...while I definitely would hold her accountable for her part...I find the older man to be of the low life class....taking clear advantage of someone lacking skill in experiences, and decision making to even fully understand the scope of the harm their actions are causing....

nineteen year old children are not the same as 25 years and older.....
she's not even out of the highschool mentality..

she is at great risk for this WS causing great harm to her in her future and her ability to make good choices....

expose to the parents..

then deal with the fact that you got a grown man capable of taking great disrepectful advantage of a near minor....

just because our bodies are physically made to doall kinds of things..and look certain ways...in our current society that is no proof that the mental properties are equal or even close to done jelling...

ARK