The final draft of our legal separation documents came by email today for review. It has to be signed by the end of the week in order for my new house's finances to be completed. I thought I was ready for this, in my head I promised myself that I would be business like, remain calm and do no LB's. As we were reading through the items I could feel myself losing emotional control. How could he remain so calm and efficient? How could it all be great for him? How could he not love me or care anymore. Why doesn't the love we had mean anything to him, how can it be so easily dismissed? 20 Years!

The papers seemed to scream out at me - "I am so glad to be getting rid of you!!!"

I over reacted and I just can't seem to keep any kind of Plan A going. I am down to my last week at our home as a family before the moving van arrives. When it comes do I shake his hand and say "thanks for the memories?" What the h$%ll am I supposed to do, how do I handle myself. All I can think about is this is the last Monday, this is our last Sunday dinner together. etc etc.

I know I will be better when I don't have to keep thinking how much I love him every time I see him. Knowing that he has another love has really shattered me. He says she is innocent of being the cause for our separation. Is this really the case? Shouldn't one clean up the mess before replacing you with a new love?

I am rambling I know, I feel really confused and sad and so very alone right now.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up next year!

So Sad!!

The pain is hard to deal with, LB's show up all the time, even when you think you are ready for a situation.

His fog seems thick if he is willing to tell you the OW has nothing to do with the situation.

Sleep is good but not a yaer of it, you are a strong person to plan A all the way up to moving day. I respect you for that. How long are you staying in plan A before moving to plan B?

I really don't know how long I will be able to Plan A - H bought a condo less that 1/2 mile from my new house. It is great for the kids but it freaks me out thinking about running into him and OW. I can't see his actual appt but we are off the same road across a park.

Every night when we go to bed I don't want the night to end because I have so few left. He even still cuddles up to me and he still asks for hugs. He really thinks we can be close friends. How does someone do that? My heart breaks every day thinking of being apart.

He wants to be out of this marriage so bad - why would he want me and not want me as a wife?

When should I go to plan A, he believes that his relationship with ow is absolutley fine because we did not have a happy marriage for the last few years. Hard to break that kind of thinking.

S