Lat night so much came out my WH -he is so stupid. He never thold this OW he worked with that he hid his friendship from me. Never told her he had a hidden e-mail account. This woman is so angry at him- he could have ruined her life like he almost ruined our M by his actions. H is now talking - he has been so stupid -so dam dumb. Why did he do this and for so long. I think he has been ruuning around looking for sympathy from other people since his Mor=ter died. He talked of suicide last night -I am getting him into MC/IC asap. I am shocked and sick with this news. It was the one at the vitamin store OW2 who he was starting a R with. I ended that last Aug. He is so mad at himself for his behavior but continues with the ITS EVERYONE'S FAULT ****. I told him I am sick of hearing that and if he doesn't stop it will end our R. He need to see a counselor. for sure. This is beyond me. Any help -Any books on Its never my fault -blame shifting ect???? I feel like I am going crazy -don't know if I want this man anymore -there has been too much over these few years. i WANT TO RUN away...

Hopefully, counseing will help your WH.

My WH has his third appointment tomorrow. His IC told him that first he needs to get WH to not feel like a "piece of $hit" before he can work on anything else.

My take on that situation is that WH SHOULD feel like a "piece of $hit"! Wouldn't that be the normal way to feel after ruining the lives of many around you?

My WH has also done the suicide threat thing. Several times. It was said more in an effort to manipulate me, and to get me to ask no questions.

I don't know of any books about shifting blame to others, but there should be some out there. It's typical behavior of most WS's. Their behaviors are very similar, and the things that come out of their mouths seem to be scripted - as they say here, by "the mother ship".

I know my WH told me last night that I was crazy. He forgot to look in the mirror first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

{{{Realtor}}}

Have you read Surviving An Affair ("SAA")? I admit I have not, but have heard it is a very useful tool when trying to recover...and I think it might address some of the blame-shifting and re-writing of history that happens during this time.


Hopefully someone who HAS read it can chime in now? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I have read it, and YES, it will help you understand a lot of this, it also helps you understand that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel that is NOT another train.

also read "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson, you can find it here: www.focusonthefamily.com

Hosea