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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 33
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 33 |
I'm finding it hard to trust after WW had an EA.
I work and she stays home, so i have no idea what's going on while i'm away. She stated that the EA was ended after i contacted the OM's W. But the OM has been contacting her mother who I believe is relaying messages to her.
In any case i really don't feel the trust at all. how do you know when you can or can't trust again?
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 332
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 332 |
In having an EA, your W has betrayed you and broken your trust. You can't be expected to trust her again for a long time.
The only way she can regain your trust is by earning it. She must open her life to you and prove to you that she is commited to the marriage.
It won't happen overnight. But you can overcome this.
The best place to start is to communicate with her to find out why the EA happened. She needs to answer all your questions, or they will plague you until they end up destroying your marriage.
What stage are you at? Has she ended the affair?
If you haven't already, start plan A immediately.
Lots of love
<small>[ January 25, 2005, 01:00 PM: Message edited by: ks2001 ]</small>
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 33
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OP
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 33 |
She has supposedly ended the affair, however. i know for a fact that this person has been contacting her mother via email. I'm pretty sure that her mother has been relaying messages, Knowing that it is behind my back and disrespectful to me. Also I found out that she (my wife) has recently ordered a prepaied cell phone, without telling me about it. So i'm waiting for her to see if she is honest about the phone. in any case the trust is'nt there.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 68
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 68 |
MA, I told my H the day I went digging and didn't find anything is the day I would quit digging. The two of you are supposed to be partners. I hope that she will tell you about the phone so you can atleast have one building block.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,056
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,056 |
Why don't you put some spyware on your computer and you will be able to read all her messages and the messages she sends out. That will tell you if it is still going on. I have been in your shoes and your WW may be lying as mine did to protect her relationship with her BF.
EA's are very hard, time consuming, and painful to break up, but it can be done if your wife breaks all contact.
TooSoon
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 33
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Joined: Jan 2004
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Thanks Too Soon, I have installed the ware on her computer, that's how i know about the cell phone. however i work and she stays home so i don't know what goes on while i'm away at work. And the fact that she talks to her mother (who i know for a fact has relayed messages to her from this other person) really increases my mistrust as well as have no respect for my mother-in-law. not to mention that I really suspect that there may have been some sort of sexual abuse within my wife's backround, but i guess that's another thread.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I really suspect that there may have been some sort of sexual abuse within my wife's backround, but i guess that's another thread. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You can check out this thread: For Sexual abuse survivors who are WSSuzet
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