As I was responding to another poster, I had a weird revelation that had not occured to me before. OW was pregnant, supposedly, by her married BF. I remember this part very well, cause the gym's Christmas party was the 12th. WH and I were spending the weekend downtown to celebrate our 14th wedding anniv. but showed up obligatorily (is that a word?!)

That same day supposedly OW miscarried. I remember the conversation: Poor OW, hope she is ok, etc. Of course never knowing what was to come. Even remeber WH feeling like an idiot cause he had spoken to her on the phone (in my presence) that day (she answers the phn at the gym) and asked her if she was "still pregnant" and after I pointed this out to him he felt really bad. He was even more chagrinned when he heard she had miscarried. He felt like a total heel.

Now barely two weeks later, according to WH, they started their PA. How is it that she had a miscarriage and then was having a PA w my H just two weeks later?! I have background here, used to work Gyn & L&D. The average bleeding, discharge, etc is 2-4 weeks after a miscarriage. It can be more or less pronounced if the person has a D&C (which I don't know if she did or not). It is not suggested that a woman have sex for 4-6 weeks (and why would you wnat to?) But it really struck a nerve all of sudden.

Esp since telling the owners & mgr of the gym about the A I heard about how OW loves drama! That is a very accurate picture from what I have seen already, myself. I know WH, and he isn't terribly squemish, but in this situation he tends to steer clear (at least for a time) of the mess that accompanies "that time". How could they have been intimate just two weeks after she had a miscariage? Something doesn't add up here, or am I totally overthinking this?!

<small>[ January 26, 2005, 12:34 AM: Message edited by: Momma'sSad ]</small>

The thing that sticks out for me is your husband asking if she was still pregnant. That sounds strange - like maybe she had planned to have an abortion.

well apparently she had been complaining alot to everyone, feeling bad physically (like preg was doomed? bleeding maybe?) and emotionally (not a "happy" thing for her to be preg at that point, not a good time, etc...like she didn't know at 33 w/ a 12yo how these things happen!!!)

Now I know by this point H and her were talking alot more than I realized. "Friends". Still, it was more of a "well we saw it coming" (the miscarriage, not the A... although...) and everyone kinda mumbled ab out it at teh party, but I didn't seem too many overtly concerned. She has only worked there a couple of months, not sure if that was it or maybe everyone was sick of hearing it?

And FYI, before anyone asks... 1) WH had the big V back in 2000 and 2) I am confident that the timeline he gave me was accurate with their PA (I asked very direct questions).

OW's claims of prego are par for the A course. False pregos are abundant. Stupid but abundant. It tends to give the OWs control over the WS and even to the BS. C/b she was trying to use this tactic and when it failed, she had a miscarriage. LOL!!! The WS in our case pulled this prank.... 3 times. One time even asked for a monthly allowance before the baby was born.... said it was for her doctor's visits. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> This was the same nut who when she was supposed less than 8 weeks, just knew she was carrying a girl.... cuz that what WS said he always wanted. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

L.

Swear I am going to bed, Valerian has me loopy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No seriously... I didn't put any of it togehter at all. Just know in the pit of my being that there was more here. That the OW wasn't done yet, now just starting to realize what we are dealing with... jack$#@!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> GRRR!! Boy he can pick em!

Also wondering if OW xBF came to her the same way, through an A w/her on his wife. I only know that he is married, I know nothing about him otherwise. How sad is this?!

The first day she came into the gym to apply for a job, I was sitting at the counter on the computer. The ONLY reason she sticks out in my brain at all from that was that she knew one of the employees there from another gym and was gossiping like crazy. Who is doing who and when, etc. Very loud, obnoxious, annoying! I can smell em a mile away, I tell ya!!! I did warn WH off of her more than once. "Watch that one, I don't trust her at all, she rubs me the wrong way" My H is truly a weak and stupid man... and apparentlty a walking target.

I am not like this (just not wired that way), so it didn't fully occur to me that this was someone (OW) who thrives on drama, heartache and whatever else she can stir up. She even used the pity line about how her H (who she is supposedly D from) "emotionally abused" her. She even told me that! Not minimzing this for anyone if this is your life as I am feeling emotionally traumatized myself these days... Wow! She is sounding more and more like the first OW!!!

That one was a serial cheater (she was M w/ 2 small kids!) who was in a "loveless M" (to a military man who bought her all she wanted and provided for her to be a SAHM) Trips, cruises, big cars, an expensive house in a ridiculously priced neighborhood..... She used to teach but had to quit because she was raped by a student, blah blah blah ad nauseum! She was psycho and would lie left and right til she lost track! One night when he left and I didn't know where he was (in those dark early days) I went looking through some restaurants for him (kids were w/my parents, BTW) and found her there with someone else (not my H, and not hers!)

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!! BTW, I am availbale for hire to sniff out any potential OW within a 5 mile radius, reasonable rates, and excellent, proven results! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

super quick, WH took DS to school and is coming back soon....

Told him my thoughts, findings, etc. He "checked the facts" and is digesting it all.

Asked a few questions. Apparently OW's BF is still M by choice, and he, too, has children. He will not left his W for OW. Maybe this is why she bacame "prgenant"?!

The whole thing was weird to me. She is also 33, has a 12 yo daughter, is knocked up by a M man and tells everyone why? Cause she thrives on the drama and attention. How many women become preg and share with the world "right away" to begin with? But esp one who is prg w/a M man's baby!? She has only worked at the gym a few months, not like she has made any lifelong pals there... No wonder others did not seem overtly concerned!

And the very day my WH asks her how she is feeling and is she "still preg", boom, she leaves shortly after to "go to the hospital" and subsequently "looses the baby"....classic? Sure sounds awful coincidental... he feels like a heel (I reinforce that for him never the wiser) and she reels him in hook, line and sinker! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Suppose she was saying "let's see how bad he really feels?"

Reinforcements? Rebuttals? This is all uncharted territory for me... my head is not wired like that, I guess! How sad a devious has the OP in your M gotten?

momma - I thought you were going to try to make it to work today. Did you get any sleep at all?

Whatever the OW's drama is, I think you will do best to formulate a plan.

well... he got up late and wasn't feeling like going out to breakfast.

he left here to go see the pastor and I just woke up.

he called, said he went to pastor and had a "good" talk.

very sad and depressed at this point, not sure where I am heading.

well... he got up late and wasn't feeling like going out to breakfast.

he left here to go see the pastor and I just woke up.

he called, said he went to pastor and had a "good" talk.

very sad and depressed at this point, not sure where I am heading.

Sounds promising that he is talking to your pastor. Now you must get a plan. Otherwise you will feel miserable and out of control.

Is OW still working there?

yup, of course she is! knew she had no intention of going away that easy! Although he swears he hasn't had contact with her since Monday evening.

I am now 100% convinced she was never prg, she made it all up to keep other WH around and then used the sympathy to pull mine in too.

WH sounded weird when I spoke to him earlier, says I need to get out of the house (true) and stop this "stupid depression thing"... excuse ME?! he has been on 2 AD for years and I am not allowed a little down time for another A that ripped my heart and soul apart?! WTH?

I asked him what his intentions were, he said "we'll discuss that with the MC this afternoon"... I know what that menas... he is still outta here, wants a D, etc. Why do I bother!?

Don't worry about what he says. Just realize that he is probably addicted to OW. She needs to find another job. Of course, now your husband has to face the possiblity of a sexual harrassment suit.

Next you have to decide on a plan. Have you exposed the A to OW's boyfriend?