im married to my H for almost 10 years now. 2 years ago, i discovered he was meeting his ex-girlfriend (sometimes, he claims) when we go to his hometown. i did not know about this ex-girlfriend, the only ex he didnt tell me about. i discovered their continuing relationship (albeit, "friends" he says) when i opened his email. i saw an exchange of passionate emails between them. this was kinda resolved when he assured me that he was still committed to our marriage and that he will end this exchange of passionate emails. he did send an email telling the girl that they have to stop emailing sweet stuff to each other because "my family is more important to me". sometime last year he went to his hometown, but before he went, i asked him not to meet her. he promised not to. when he came back, i asked him if he met her, and he told me point-blank, no. but i discovered that they did met, and of course, threw a fit about it. we had a big fight, and he told me he did not want to tell me about it because i would get mad. it was only a friendly meeting. my point has always been, if it was a friendly thing, why cant you tell me about it in the first place? hiding something means there's something to hide. his "infidelity" has never really been resolved with me, and i am still not trusting him. he said that i should just trust him.
well, it's affecting our relationship up to now because i am suspicious of his girl-friends at the office. he hangs out with this group of friends, which includes these 2 flirtatious women (both married). he says they are safe because they are married. and also emphasize that they're just all friends. i am jealous everytime they go out (which is at least once a week), and they do stuff we dont do, e.g. play darts, pool, drink (i seldom drink). i am particularly suspicious with this one lady, Heather, who sends him text messages (by phone) stuff like: hope you're feeling better, i miss you, and even "i love you" in our language (he says that they were just joking each other, and it doesnt mean a thing to her because it's in a different language). and sometimes when they go out, he cannot control the time to stop and go home. he says, it's something you cannot control when you're having fun, and that you also have to allot time to let the alcohol go out of your system before you drive. i have asked him to have discipline, say be with friends for 5 hrs, to include 2 hrs of sobering up if needed. i mope at home waiting for him, and i told him it's easier if i know how long to wait.
we have one 9-year old son, and im 7 weeks pregnant now. i had hoped that with my pregnancy he'd be more considerate and have more discipline when he's with friends. mind you, they are in 30's but they could drink. i've also tried pleading with him to lessen drinking because of his liver problems. i think he's the type who cannot say no to friends, especially to lady-friends. he even went to disco went them, even if he does not dance at all.
thanks for this forum, and allowing me to vent. any advise is welcome. please pray for strength for me to carry on.
