I think I have most of my bases covered but I do have one question. How do you handle it when the WS calls and one of the kids answers the phone? Since they don't know what's going on do I take the call? Or do you tell them what you are doing and why?

<small>[ January 26, 2005, 08:46 AM: Message edited by: starman ]</small>

Hi Starman,

Good question as I've been wondering the same thing. I take it your kids are fairly old, my oldest is only 5. No advice here, just telling you what I've been doing, take it or leave it. I'm thinking that the kids should be able to talk to my WW (no matter how wacked out she it), I just don't want to talk to her. The way I've handled it is when I see that it's her I pickup the phone and give it to my oldest, then the second, then third.

After the third is done breathing into the phone for a few minutes with me in the background telling him to say Hi to mommy I then tell him okay say BYE. I then take the phone and say "Okay, bye" and hang up. Don't know if I'm in Plan B or if this would be breaking Plan B. All I know is Plan B, and NC with kids is pretty hard to do.

Hope this helps,
Native

This message is really for Native 00. He replied to my H post which I read and found very interesting.

quote:
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She pretty much told me tonight that I was going to stay with her and that she was not going to give up her OMs. "Can't we just be friends" and "He really is just a friend" and "His wife said he could be friends with me" blah blah blah
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Reply from Native 00
Talk about wacked out... that is about the dumbest thing I've heard in a while.

I am sure my H appreciates the time you took to reply but I would like to say to you What the ****. You don't know me and you surely have no idea how I feel or what is going on in my head so don't even ******* begin to act like you do. How can you judge me when it sounds like you should be focusing more on your own situation rather than passing judgement on other folks. Sounds to me like you have alot going on in your "world" right now as well. I would like to say I hope you come out well and I for one will not judge you............

Again thanks for taking the time out of your situation to pass judgement on others.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Have a good day

eeyorelover...

do i have this correct...

you posted this here on a post where native is assisting starman in a question....

over a response you did not like that he gave your husband on a different post...

how does this help starman??

how does this help you ??

and lets be honest if you are telling your husband that you want to be friends with your OM....and be married...

that is wacked...
and it is a illogical sentiment...to believe one can be friends with OP and repair a marriage...
that's called cake eating..
it doesn't work.
the continued contact keeps your emotions in continued flux...and takes from the marriage...what belongs to the marriage....and gives to a third party...
that's not a judgement...it's fact...

it is an act of continual cruelity....and disrespect no matter how you present it or slice it...

native passed no disrepectful judgements ....he spoke the truth based on what your husband said you have decided.....


meanwhile back to starman..

what are the children's ages....
native nailed it with the little one....just say bye-bye....

but if they are older you can tell them a little more....again it is age dependant..

ARK

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 06:27 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>

There ages are 15,13,11,9 and four. One of my oldest usually answers the phone. I have gotten into the habit of keeping the phone close to me most of the time. But I'm pretty busy at home and it doesn't always work.

starman-

I have kids too, but my youngest is 10. I am planning on just letting her answer the phone during B when it's him, or when it's 'blocked' on my caller ID.

My WH calls her everyday, they talk at least 3 or 4 times a day.

So, I'm going to try it that way, just letting her answer when I know it's him.

I am scared to death of plan B though, lemme tell ya!

-Caren

starman...

how are the evavise tactics working thus far..
do you think the kids have noticed you two aren't talking...

do they try to get you to talk...

I would execute your actions from their cues....

do you think they know something is going on between the two of you

ark

My W hasn't been calling as much since I went back into plan B last week. I TOLD her what I was doing instead of writing it and at the time I thought I had done a good job. But she was still calling too much.

When the kids answered the phone I felt pressured to take the call because they don't know what's going on. I thought, "she's either testing me or I didn't get my point across as well as I wanted". So I decided to write the plan B letter and give it to her. I put it in her car at work last night. I took the kids to a church function and we got home late so we all crashed pretty quickly.

I just turned my cell phone on this morning and there was a LONG message from my W on it. I THINK she got the point this time! I am going to start another post on all this later because I've got some questions about it all but she did say that she would grant my wish and stop trying to contact me.

How do you handle it when the WS calls and one of the kids answers the phone?
You let them talk.

Since they don't know what's going on do I take the call? Or do you tell them what you are doing and why?
Absolutely you tell them what is going on.
What was your excuse as to why mom is not living at home?

You need to be teaching them it is NOT okay to lie. You be honest with them since mom is probably fudging the truth if not bald faced lying about it.