Hi MB'ers,

I have been using the MB board for almost a year. First of all, I can tell you that MB works....FWH and I are approaching D-day one year anniversary and we are in the process of recovery for the last three months.

If you do the math, it took seven months of Plan A with continued contact and two plan B's to get here. There is great advice on the board that got me through--read all of MB books, work on you, Plan A, no LB's, IC, and exercise.

I thought I would pass along a helpful tip that continues to help me. As I was going through different passages of the experience,

I would use the search feature of the sight and review threads from others that had the same issue. I printed out the threads I liked and keep them in file.

This helped me in several ways.

*I learned I was not crazy or alone--I was normal.

*I learned how others handled it--this helped to shape my own response.

*I also learned how FWH would and would not respond so I could avoid LB and remain hopeful in the meanwhile.

*Some threads, I printed out because they were inspiration that things could work out.

I still keep a file of threads that I liked. I printed them out because I knew I might need them some day. When I am experiencing something, I reread the articles and they help me to remain committed to the process. I hope this will help those of you that are out there going through this.

In the last few weeks, FWH has done several things that tells me he is out of the fog. He called the OW "wierd." This is a major feat because there was a time when she could do no wrong and I could do no right. I waited sooooooo long to hear that. This morning, I took him to the airport and when he said goodbye to me....he gave me three long kisses....which he never does...generally only pecks. I was thrilled.

MB works so hang in there--search and print for ideas and advice.....there is some great stuff in the archives. Take care of yourself. ss <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ January 27, 2005, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> and exercise </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are so cute. You really took to that like . . . like . . . I wish I had Dr. Phil's knowledge of funny little phrases, but I am resigned to the only one I know, the old stand-by ~ a Fish to Water.

You go girl!!!

Spidey

Hey Spidey,

Next to MB...best advice I ever got...thanks to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It started with walking, then the cardio, bowling and now golf. Even though H and I filled out EN questionaries, Recreational companionship never came up in either one of our answers, but it has turned out to be an important need of H...we go to driving range together and he put together another trip so I could continue with my golf lessons...he can hardly wait for me to play a game. Lucky for me, I was in shape to play...thanks to you, Spidey.

{{{{tink, tink}}}}}}}}

That is me, tinking my wine glass with yours...cheers and thanks..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by SureSurvivor:
<strong> ...thanks to you, Spidey.

{{{{tink, tink}}}}}}}}

That is me, tinking my wine glass with yours...cheers and thanks..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey,

'no tinking' and posting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Glad to hear you are doing well. Thanks for this great post. I know it will help the newbies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The more it helps, the less I have to type. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

All the best,
L.

Hi suresurvivor,

I really liked your thread and I am myself very close to starting Plan B only my WH is 8000 miles away from us, so hard to Plan A.

Would you mind reading my thread and give your opinion?

Thank you very much!

dakota <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Me 39
WH 34
OW 30
married 11 yrs
S10,D4
A startet 12/2003
I found out 6/6/2004

My Story

Hi Orchid: thanks for your message. I have many of your responses in my file... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I esp. like and believe you created a numbered list of things to do for the BS....it helped me alot and is a "classic." This posting is on the top of stack!

So many people need help and vets such as yourself have given so much of time and advice to others that are diamonds of wisdom(even more than pearls)...the answers are out there, just have to look for it.

FWH and I are doing better...I didn't think we ever would, but it can happen. This is just the beginning of us continuing to work hard on us. Thanks for your response... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

SureSurvivor ~

I thought I was a nerd 'cause I have a one and half inch binder FILLED with threads from the past year & 5 months!! SEE once again, I find from MB that there are others like me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The threads have been invaluable to me. Along with inspiring, and feeling like I wasn't the only nutso BS out there, I had DW read all the the threads so HE could see I wasn't nuts or totally obsessed!

Our 12th Anniversary is on Sunday and I was looking through the binder just last week. Reading my posts from months and months ago, and seeing how far I have come, personally, and how far we have come as a couple is amazing! I also put our letters to each other in the binder and I read the one DFW wrote to me last Jan. on our anniversary. I have to admit, I did read it then and had the "yea, right...we'll see" thoughts (this was only 5 wks. post ddday #2) and now I read it and see how much he really meant what he wrote!!

Thanks to all here on MB!!! I couldn't have come this far without all y'all! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hugs, Frags

SS, I can so relate to so much of what you wrote maybe even everything but the finding out you were normal part.

This place does work! I honestly believe with all my heart that had I not found this site when I did I would not be married today. Period! and I am not a paid spokesperson.

Oh yeah and the binder deal. US to.

Nice thread... always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!

Hi Frags,

You bring up another good benefit of keeping posting of your own or others...it helps to "benchmark" progress. I reread through my "nerd" file and I say...oh yeah, that was a problem at the time, but I learned to solve that.
I keep postings close of things I am still learning to do....like heap praise on H in a way he will accept it.

On a positive note, the postings helped me to recognize what recovery looked like and what it wasn't....so when it was finally here, I did not reject it or blow it.

So, Frags....

Happy Anniversary to you and Mr. Frags..........

{{{{{{{{{tink, tink}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

of champagne glasses......raise your glasses and let's make a toast to the happy couple........

Many blessings and happiness....and more MB

{{{{{tink,tink,tink,tink}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

kiss....kiss......give her a kiss............

MB works! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SureS~

Thank you for the toast! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
We leave in one hour to go to a B&B in the area where we are looking for a new house! YEA!! Anniversary fun and house hunting!
After 15 months, we have decided to move - cannot stand the constant exposure to the SOW.
It's absolutely amazing to be on the verge of this new beginning for us.
I feel like we are newlyweds!
I plan to act like one this weekend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hugs, Frags

Good for you Frags.

Mrs. E and I packed up and moved, new address, new unlisted phone #, new sites and sounds, no longer the need to look around every corner and panic everytime the phone rings. It's done wonders for our stress level... and yes we act like newlyweds as often as possible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Hope you have a great weekend.