Is it weird to want to know what OM looks like? Would it be a good thing or a bad thing to find out what he looks like? His blank face haunts me. The affair between my wife and him appears to be over, because I have not found any evidence in a few months. We seem to be on our way to recovery, but I still have times when I want to know.

Funny, I have no desire to know what OM looks like. I've only seen him once, driving by at night, and did not get a good look.

No thanks. He rarely makes it into my dreams. I think if I knew what he looked like, that would change. I prefer him as a blank. He's irrelevant to me, except that car4love is my friend and he's hurting her.

GC

I actually saw a few pictures of the homewrecker on my WH's computer when it was here.I found her to be very ugly.She had a nice body like mine <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> but then I was a bit older and had 2 kids.She's just a single homewrecker.As first I wasn't sure I wanted to know how this person looked but it didn't bother me too much.

There were the pics of my WH holding the homewrecker on the beach with "her" smiling at him,MY husband without his wedding ring.Gross.Then another taken at a New Years eve party in LA I think,"her" smiling yet again like the cheshire cat.Smug as a bug in a rug I would say.

I am glad I know though for future reference.If this person ever comes around my property or kids etc then I want to be able to identify that person.

O

BAD THING! in my case. Tall really muscular, good looking. But a total ****edited****

<small>[ January 28, 2005, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

In my case OM was short, obese, and ugly.

Hurt------- what difference would it make to you if OM was a good looking guy? An ugly dude?

Hurt

I've started to respond to this a couple of times this afternoon, then stopped, then come back to it.

First, let me say I cannot fully appreciate the torment you must be going through. And I certainly don't mean to sound flippant or insensitive when I respond to the question as it really caught my attention. Take it as just a bit of philisophical thought; that along with a few quarters, might get you a cup of coffee somewhere. :-)

The OM...probably doesn't look as sinister or evil or twisted as you may imagine him to be.

Obviously, something in his heart is amiss if he became the OM. But his looks? Well...take a look around you.

He make look like the guy you golf with, or work across the hall from. He might resemble the coach who led your kid's football team to a district title last year. Perhaps he has the face of your local weatherman or heaven forbid, the "man of the cloth" who preaches against sin every Sunday at the corner church.

That face could be any number of faces you pass by every single day.

But probably the most alarming thought is if one doesn't guard his own heart carefully, he may even end up looking like the face that stares back at you from the bathroom mirror.

Again...I don't offer these words to stir up suspicion of everyone you come in contact with. Be thankful you don't have to struggle with a defined image and just remember the old saying, "But for the grace of God, there go I"

Good luck on your healing.

Blessings

Pretty is as pretty does..or something like that. A beautiful fruit on the outside rotten to the core. OW was beautiful on the outside-but that was it. I am a woman and I will take a beautiful soul rather than a "great body".

Don't worry what the OM looked like, really in general, women don't care about that as much as men do...looking at his needs, her needs. Don't compair yourselves to the OM. You guys are good, solid men and deserve to be treated like the real men that you are. Any man who would go after a married woman isn't what I would consider a real man.

It takes a real man to try and make his marriage work after going thru what you have been thru. For me, it is difficult to know that she was younger and good looking, your typical what you would think OW. I was once younger and beautiful, but I know she'll get old too. Just let it go, it really doesn't matter. My H is the best looking man on earth to me. He may not be what other people desire, but to me he is everything.

Hi Hurt,

I've got 4 of my WW's 5 OM in a "Rogue's Gallery" of sorts. One I've known for 40 years, so there really is no need for a photo. The others I've never met, but I prefer at least knowing.

As far as the nightmares are considered...it really doesn't matter if the "spectre" has a face or not. It's still a "spectre"...

I only know that the OM in my case 'looks like Jonathan Frakes' from Star Trek TNG.

IMDB Page for Jonathan Frakes

I have never seen him, but he is probably better looking than me. I really don't care. He is a scumbag who goes after married women. I am more of a man than he will ever be.

I think it is better that I have never seen him. I don't see the 'movies' in my head anymore, and seeing him might get me into 'reruns' as it were.

YMMV