I am taking my S to his first counseling appt. this week. My STBXW is going also, at the request of the counselor.

I was just wondering what kinds of questions to expect. Do they generally delve into the parents situation much, or do they stick with the child's personal history? I don't mind answering any questions, just wanted to get a head's up.

I think it probably depends on the counselor, my DD10's counselor asked a few general questions like....How's school.....do you have a boyfriend....what class is your favorite....stuff like that. Then he went straight for "So, tell me what's been going on at home with your Mom and Dad" She avoided eye contact, got fidgety, looked around, avoided answering....said "I don't know....." So he asked a few 'leading' questions......same response, so he thought maybe it was because I was in the room. He said "Do you want your Mom to go out?" She said "No" He said "Are you afraid to say what you are thinking because it might make your Mom sad?" She said "Yes...I guess" So anyway, I ended up leaving, and she talked to him a little. But nothing really got resolved, I don't think it will be resolved for her unless her father and I get back together.

It's awful.....I wish you luck.

-Caren

They usually just ask about their routines, normal
just everyday easy questions. Try to make your S feel at ease as possible. Like no big fizz. I have learned alot about how to deal with my Boys in circumstances consering there dad. Only thing in my situation is that my husband that I am married to now took advantage of the (Get along with the childs mother). Sleeping with the X is not a good thing.
Good Luck, and thanks.
RAENASAD

Ouch, Sounds like Carens couselor was a hardball.
Sorry for you C. I have to say my experience was alot better. My boys had two different ones because we moved. But both were very nice and put my boys at ease. I think instead of hounding the child, wanting to know details they should just listen.
RAENASAD

Starman,
My son has gone to a few sessions over the past few months. The first couple appts I was with him and since then he's gone in by himself each time.
Almost every time they play a game of UNO just to break the ice and loosen things up a bit. My son loves that and the counselor says it helps the child not to feel like counseling is something you have to be sad about. My son looks forward go going to the appts.
At our first appt, the counselor stuck to only general questions about my sons life. The second appt he asked me a few specifics of issues that we were having at home. I was just very careful to explain things in a way that I it was okay for my sons ears to hear.
I have told my son that he can talk to me about what he and the couselor discuss if he wants to but that he doesn't have to. He's been doing great. Good luck!!

My son was in counseling some years ago when he was about 5. We had been dealing with his recent diagnosis of being ADHD with anxiety and Tourette Syndrome thrown in the mix. Trying to handle all of it at a young age was causing him and the family various problems so I thought it wise to add therapy for a neutral outlet for him and I to vent and seek advice.

It took a few months to find a therapist that fit us both and we saw a few that I thought wanted to focus on the wrong things. One wanted to put my son on several prescriptions at once and one took more of a "let see if he grows out of it" approach.

When we did find one that fit, the first session were filled with just general questions about family and routines. After the first session, the therapist asked to speak with my son alone for about 20 minutes of each session. Then I would be brought in and the session would shift to how I was trying to handle the issues coming up with my son. Sometimes he would speak with me alone. The sessions tapered off when teh therapists asked if I could get my parents to come in as well as he saw them as an important piece of our situation. They refused to come stating they never believed in quacks and thought I was crazy to let an "outsider" influence the raising of my child. Yep, they are definitely from the old school of thought.

So in your case, it would depend on how the therapist would want to handle your case individully.