The night of my email- I called and spoke to
one of my parish priests for about an hour.
He said that for me to continue to fixate on
my part of the A - despite the forgivness of
God and my working the program so to speak (not
12 step) but reconcilation with my faith and
working on my marriage was at this point a serious act of self-indulgence.
So this weekend we had our second wedding-this
one blessed and acknowledged by our church. It
was attended by family and close friends all of
whom knew that truth that our R began as an A.
This priest also told me in no uncertain terms
that the legitmacy of my marriage will be based
in how we treat and love one another and how we
share that love with the community at large.
That the sins of the past have only as much
power as we give them. We can't erase it- but
we can endeavor to make that the last mistake.
In regards to XW- he also feels that I should
not approach her- that if the time comes to do
so- we'll know it. What I can do for her is
offer her my prayers- both for peace from the pain we selfishly inflicted on her and for love
and devotion in her new marriage.
Lastly he suggests that I focus my attention
both here and inside myself with making a strong,
successful marriage rather than rehashing issues
of guilt over past acts that will only service
to tear at the foundation we're trying to build.

Thank you for all the comments to my earlier
email- even the ones that stung at bit.

PS- Pepperband- seems we are in the same neck of
the woods- are you familar with "the South Bay"-
"Hollywood Rivera"?

The very best wishes for both of you, Pink. Couldn't agree with your priest more.

I'm so glad you had a good chat with your priest. It sounds like you got sound advice, considering he likely knows you and your situation better than anyone here.

Peace to you and your household, Pink.

Lori

I'm so glad you had a good chat with your priest. It sounds like you got sound advice, considering he likely knows you and your situation better than anyone here.

Peace to you and your household, Pink.

Lori

I’m glad you had a nice weekend.

I do wonder though, why it took your parish saying it’s not okay to contact her and you listen, over pretty much the same thing being told to you here (ones that have actually experienced the grief) and we were, what I felt, trying to break though a wall that you weren’t willing to listen too. I guess I don’t understand that.

You mentioned how the church has forgiven you, my question to you would be have you forgiven yourself?

He’s right you marriage is what you make of it. Good luck to you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

2BUSAgain,
I did listen to the posters here. If you read
the entire thread you'll see serveral
different opinions. I was simply looking for
different points of view.

Thanks!!

Good for you Pink!

Blessings to you and your husband.

Wishing you the best,

Your priest sounds terrific. Follow his sound counsel.

Pep