Sense and see a lot of concern and confusion here. Of course that makes me want to do the 'clarify' thing..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Here's a question to ponder. Where do you get your support, guidance and even advice/counseling to help you cope with your personal situation? When you give it deep thought, you may find out they come from some pretty awesome, unusual and clever sources.
Does it always have to be from a recovered M? Does it always have t/b from a BS? Does it always have to be a person, or could it be a thing, a pet, an abstract sound or thought? What happens if that person or thing disappoints us?
My point (yea it's coming - LOL!!!) is that our support c/b from any source available to us. Our human sources are not perfect. They have their personal issues like everyone else. Our non human support contacts (pets, plants, songs, picture, etc.) are not always available but coupled with our other resources, they too can be valuable contributors to our personal support system.
Should we be disappointed or set expectations so high of those we rely on that we get horribly disappointed when others we look up to suffer as we are suffering? No. Unless it's God, all our other support sources can have down times. It doesn't mean we should discount them. Nope. Instead we can look for the good and discard the bad.
In my personal experience I learned a lot from many sources. I kept my outlook so that I did not count on a sole source as my only point of comfort and support. At first I was the student, needing t/b taught how to survive. Then I learned to be the assistant and worked with the teachers who helped me. In time I was able to give back some of what I learned and thus you see me here posting.....every day (well almost everyday <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).
My point again??? Ok, here it comes. My point is that sometimes the ones we look up to will have hard times. They are as valuable now as they were before. Just may need a bit of their own time to handle what is now a critical issue in their lives. They have given us their time, patience and attention before. Nothing is perfect in this world.... yet. So now it is our turn t/b supportive and caring.
Will this fix their problems? Nope. That responsiblity resides in their court. But it does bring some comfort to know that others care and that in itself is a big help.
For me personally, I took my WS back waaay to early. MBers who were helping me knew that. They told me. If you think I am a fairly strong and pro M poster...... you c/b right but there comes a time when the M needs either a major overhaul or ended.
Even for the best of MBers rediscovery of a d/d is hard. The emotions run high I don't care how often you have been through it. All need time to adjust and cool down. Then depending on the state of your heart and mind....... plans to move forward can start. They may change back and forth a bit. That adjustment period is exactly what is needed. One thing is that no MBer or coach can predict how things will turn out. May have a gut feeling but that's about as good as it gets.
If you have never been through this roller coaster, you will never know the true effect of the ride. Watching on the sidelines is totally different than sitting in the ride. A few have been able to really empathize. For most, it took them a while to get the whole picture. When they did, their posts proved t/b invaluable.
So stop and think where our support really comes from. Then as soon as you can, thank them, or pet their head (if it's a pet), hummmm along (if it is a song), enjoy the beauty of a tranquil place, whatever your support may be, enjoy it. Appreciate them/it.
JMHO,
L.
<small>[ January 31, 2005, 01:07 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>
