What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorney's use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through the chest with a sharp knife!