If you were to read every post of mine from my nearly 4 years here at MB you would not, prior to this week find me engaging in an onboard food fight. Differences of opinion, certainly, but never tossing back ranting disrespect or anger. Not even the time I was called an abomination and a child of Satan because of my religious beliefs.

I always wondered what on earth could get posters, almost all of whom are truly good people, so riled up that they forgot basic courtesies. And I thought it could never happen to me. That there wasn't anything that could possibly push me to forgo my slavish allegiance to Miss Manners.

I was wrong. It seems I do have a threshhold after all. Discovering that after five years of very hard recovery work my husband would throw me away to screw some women he knew for less than a week, having my personal and professional integrity publicly denigrated and maligned, being told that *I* was at fault and that he did what he did because of some personality flaw on my part, coupled with no sleep for more than 36 hours and very little food after having been sick for three weeks pushed me to a place I didn't know existed.

I apologize for being arrogant enough to think it couldn't happen to me. And I apologize for being a poo poo head.

I do not apologize for the exposure nor for the use of Steve's full name and other information. And certainly not for reserving the right to decide for myself when my marriage is over.

But for all the rest I am deeply regretful. I understand that having reached a physical and spiritual limit is no excuse. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

PRT

Not that you need it, but apology accepted for my part.

And please allow me to offer my sympathy for you, and maybe even a little understanding.

Blessed be.

-OAK

{{{{{Cerri}}}}}

Penny,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I apologize for being arrogant enough to think it couldn't happen to me. And I apologize for being a poo poo head.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No apology needed, and I'm very sorry that this has happened to you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And certainly not for reserving the right to decide for myself when my marriage is over.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Decide in haste, repent in leisure. You would undoubtly coach someone else in this situation to not make any major decisions until after the storm has passed and the winds have died down a bit. I'll be the mirror and tell you that you don't have to make any decisions with regards to your marriage right now---just stay in protection phase.

Take good care of yourself...

we all lash out when we are hurting.

We cant believe it.

We want it to go away.

Find your best friend and just hug.

Stay strong

Stay safe

Dear Penny,

I have been lurking (and posting once in a while) for over 6 months now. During this time I have watched you help and support countless less people who come here in total abject desperation. All of this people owe you a debt that they can never repay. Your husbands actions will never negate any of the good you have done. As many people pointed out, no matter how much of an expert you are, at the end of day there is no way a marriage will work without two willing partners. Although I do not even pretend to understand the pain you have gone through and continue to experience, I do understand that you have managed to take that pain and to turn it into something positive by helping others. Its takes an extraordinanry person to manage a coup like that.

In university I met a really nice girl with whom I developed a strong platonic relationship. A few months after I met her and we hanging out more regularly she died in a car crash. At that moment life seemed so unjust, pointless and futile to everybody who knew her. Nevertheless, her short life also had a positive impact on all of those people and we slowly came to beleive that, inspite of her tragically premature death, perhaps she was an angel sent here by some higher power to improve the lives of everybody lucky enough to have known her. What I'm trying to say is that regardless of your pain right now you have positivally impacted, helped, supported and are an angel to thousands of people who you will probably never meet (and some you didn't even know existed like me). Now how many of us can say that??

Chin up girl!!.. :-)

Penny, I have always despised schadenfreude as one of the most foul of human traits.

That so many people seemed to cry " Hah ! Healer heal thyself! " was sickening IMO. I have seen EVERY recent broken heart cry here and be soothed, yet you endured a verbal kicking I have rarely seen.

Apologise for demonstrating human frailty at a time of personal crisis ?

Do not.Ever.

You know the overwhelming majority of studious MBers car every much for you and relate to your situation. But you still feel sh1tty and betrayed, and abused and raped and hopeless and helpless and....all of the things you have seen in the eyes and voices of the dozens of people you have helped through such heartbreak.

As the great wise K says, get strong and calm before taking any permanent decisions. And know that almost all of us are rooting for you and can't wait to see you back in the saddle.

{{{{penny}}}}

Oh heck, Cerri, you mean you're human? No apology necessary.

Hope you are taking good care of yourself and your family.

We all do something we have to apoligize for. My wife came to visit today and and the ride home I started asking questions about her EA. Stupid me. She started crying and said it's only the first day. Was that a LB or what.

Cerri,
I feel for you. I cannot believe what I did -- running down to the woman's house in a very nice part of Minneapolis and kicking the car seat in the back seat of the car (which they had moved for passionate lovemaking) around in the driveway at 3 AM on a Sunday morning.

This board is for people when they need help from those who understand just how traumatic it is to learn of a spouse's infidelity.

Cherished

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Oh heck, Cerri, you mean you're human? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL

Hard to believe that she actually gets up every morning just like us and pees, brushes her teeth and showers! She IS human, just as all of us are! She is hurt just as all of us are!

Cerri, I dont think you need to apologize either! we all love you!

cerri,

Though we've had words in the past......I feel for you. This just proves that this whole load of crap can happen to ANYONE.

Now.....about your religious beliefs. I think I read somewhere that you are Wiccan?

Our oldest daughter is HEAVY into studying it.
I don't mind at all as I believe that EVERYONE has a right to ANY religion they decide on.......but admit to being a little on the stupid side about it.

Think you could point me in the right direction so that I might find out more about it?

Thanks!

Edited to add.......strange things happen around our oldest daughter. She always knows what somebody is thinking....which gets very creepy at times, and there has been this one thing that's been happening lately, but I would rather not get into that on this board.

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 07:57 AM: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</small>

Cerri-

I don't think an apology is necessary either, you're fine. Don't worry about it. I don't know why anyone was messing with you....understanding should have been the operative word.

I think you're great!!

-Caren

No need to apologize for being human, Penny. You have been such a great help to so many of us, and I think a lot of us would love to find a way to repay you for all that.

Take care of you, take care of your kids. You'll come out of this okay, and will be a stronger person for it.

{{{{{penny}}}}}

(((((Cerri)))))
Take care, friend. You and your family are in my thoughts.
You will come through this, and you will be at peace again. Healing can be painful, but I know you can handle it.

I'm just popping out of Idiotville to say that IMO, people should be apologising to you. I think a great many of them had forgotten the despair of Dday. I like a girl who keeps her word! If naming him publicly was the worst he ever has to endure, than so be it. I really believe the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" was written by a person who knew what they were talking about. TT

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cerri:
<strong>

I apologize for being arrogant enough to think it couldn't happen to me. And I apologize for being a poo poo head.

PRT </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do not think you need to apologize for thinking it could not happen to you...not here. We all thought that at one time.

And as for being a poo poo head...I do not think so. You are human. You are not a robot. Your reaction to all of this is pretty much to be expected. It has been par for the course.

Taking the high road, BRAVO!!!!

When we are all ready down, and somebody kicks us, we sometimes kick back. To know that we have kicked back an apologize for it is taking the high road.

Lead by example. What a great example you are.

Sorry for your pain your H has caused you. He has failed you in a big way, I hope you can find peace and happiness again.

KY

cerri:

You do far more help than you could ever demean with "harm."

And you are human, and it was an affront 2 what you stand for.

I'm not sure what it says about Steve. Clearly he has issues he can't or won't face. I hope he does someday.

best,
-ol' 2long

Penny...I was appalled at your thread...well, not your thread, but the responses--I had to stop reading after awhile.

I have never actually posted to you before.

I really have nothing more to add than what's already been said on this thread, just in my own words:

I say, once again, outside of Idiotville: God forbid a poster should show that he/she is human. That there is a human being behind those keystrokes and words you create to only see on a computer screen. Flesh and blood. *Real* pain. *Real* feelings. A *real* person.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Apologise for demonstrating human frailty at a time of personal crisis ?

Do not.Ever.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">{{{penny}}}

Prayers and blessings,
LINY