Anyone remember or know about any marriagebuilders surprises? After a year and a half of posting here, I've seen many.

Won't mention names, but L - who started on the divorce forum, and never left it. When he first posted, his wife was living away from his city, and would not even talk to him. His question was how he could Plan A with her not talking to him.

They reconciled and are happy.

Then there was F - who took our advice and let OW's H know about the affair. The OW ambushed her in the K-Mart parking lot with a pool stick. She ended up having an operation and plastic surgery.

B posted here that he couldn't live without his wife who was having an affair, and 3 months later was divorced and in love with some one else.

SS had the famous sushi lunch where her WH was asking for a divorce and 2 weeks later he was chasing her. They are reconciled.

Anyone else remember any surprises?

I haven't been here long enough, believer, to remember any of that...though if I read correctly, Dalton Dad is in recovery (I never go to recovery board, just saw someone mention it)...and that is surprising to me.

But I sure to wish that juke would pop in and let us know how he's doing. I did a call-out post to him a few weeks ago but didn't see anything. I hope that's because he's doing far too well to visit here!

Also wish I knew how faithhopelove1 is doing. I've tried emailing her, but have not heard from her since we planned our last FL get-together which ended up falling through.

There is one big surprise that i know about that I do not wish to post since that person hasn't posted it here. Hopefully she will soon because it's such wonderful news and she deserves to be surrounded with MB love and congratulations.

Then there was L&H who was very upset about her WH. Last I talked to her, she was moving on, and had a GREAT vacation in China.

Also there was the WH who was living in the tent outside his wife's house. Never did hear the last of that one.

But the surprising things I have seen here would be like Lemonman getting back with his wife.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong>
But the surprising things I have seen here would be like Lemonman getting back with his wife. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL, OK, Believer, I suspect you are just trying to bait me here (do you miss me and my usually controversial opinions? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ). I will bite for a moment. That statement above did make me chuckle though. I am not even the same person that I was 6 months ago, so "getting back" with my wife is not something that even crosses my mind for a second now. We could never be together again, we are 2 different people and in 2 completely different places in life. In my my life now, I don't even have anything in common with her anymore. The good thing is, I don't hate her.....or even dislike her. I have 100% forgiven her for doing what she did to our marriage. I also don't hate the OM or even dislike him. "Hate" and "Dislike" are emotions that take a lot of energy, and in my life now, I don't have room or energy for that. When you can say those things and mean them, you know that you are personally recovering.

FOR ME, getting divorced (although tragic for all people involved) was a re-birth for me. In the end, I am happy that my X-wife's true character was revealed to me before we had children. Having children involved in this would have been truly tragic. For that I am thankful. I am sure that if I had children I might be "singing" a different tune, and would have to accept this life and person (xWW) and "try and make it work for the kids". I am so thankful that I didn't have that HEAVY burden on me in deciding to divorce her. I am sure that I would have stayed with her for the kids and would have sacrificed my personal happiness for what many people claim is "better" for the children. Many people do this here, and I do admire them and feel for their struggles.

While I truly realize and understand that for many here, the thought of divorce is something "unnaceptable" and not an option. FOR ME it has been a "saving grace". I am in such a better place in my life now. I can't ever imagine going back to the life I had before. Yes, it is sad that it took divorce for that to happen. I hope that many can gain back their lives and marriages all in the same.

I don't post too much to people here anymore as I am realizing that many people just have to experience things for themselves and "find their own way". We all could tell people till we are blue in the face what we think and what to do , and caution them to learn from our mistakes, but in the end, they need to learn it for themselves. I used to have this compulsion to want to "make people see the error of their ways", but that compulsion is all gone now. It feels good to not be in the "fray" so much here anymore. I think the board is better for it. I don't read the many tragic stories here and feel the "need" to fix anyone or 2 X 4 them. It never did any good anyway <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . That is not me anymore--Thank God for me and others here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

I consider myself a MB success however. While I didn't do the plans or any of "that", I did read the message boards and grow as a person. This board helped me find a "personal recovery" that I never thought possible in my life. I am a better son, brother, uncle, and doctor today than ever before. That in my mind, is the essence of "recovery". My next relationship will reap the benefits off all of this.

SO Beliver, I am indeed a "marriage builder" suprise here. I found recovery in the last place I would have ever thought possible.....this message board.

Cheers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LM

<small>[ February 02, 2005, 09:59 PM: Message edited by: lemonman ]</small>

Dang, believer! I don't even know half those stories. That one is awful about the lady getting beat up.

The biggest surprise to me was hopeful4u, a WS, who was divorced when she came here. Her H wouldn't give her the time of day. When she decided to throw in the towel after months and months of snubbings from her BS, I cheered!

Well.......guess who didn't cheer?? JL!! He told her to not give up to my shock! Sure enough, a few months later her H warmed up to her and they have since remarried. Somehow JL knew it wasn't over when everyone else had given up. It was a very happy ending!

Hey Aislinn-

Found this on the "In Recovery" board, it's from the 25th of January....but it's all I could find for Dalton Dad.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=31;t=016700;p=14

-Caren

Am trying to remember who it was that had a spouse in a tent in the yard??? DANG IT!! That was a good one.... Will try to remember who....

LM, I consider you an MB success because I think that you are the kind of person who most probably would never have even come to MB, and the kind of person who doesn´t stay when they do. We have to remember that there are many,many more out there suffering from infidelity who either don´t seek help, don´t find it on the internet or even if they do, do not consider it worthwhile. I always wonder about those people and how they survive.

Those that are on MB have at least one thing in common: the desire to recover their marriage. I don´t think that was your intention when you came here and yet you stayed. I am glad you did, and I am specially glad that you are happy you did.

You are the one who proves that even if the marriage is not recovered MB can be successful in the sense that you find closure and become a better person as you said so yourself.
This is very important for those of us who are still in the middle of the process.

Just a few more thoughts.
I totally agree with LM that many people just have to do things and cannot or will not do things because others tell them. It is very frustrating for those who KNOW what will happen when those who are asking for advice don´t heed it. But that´s a fact about us humans in all aspects of life.
I like to take others advice when I have critically evaluated it and am convinced that it comes from a good source(or experience). Just 2 days ago I listened to some of the audio material on the website and I loved hearing Dr. Harley tell a caller "... when the affair ends in 6 months... " and the caller asked, "Why do you say it will end in 6 months?" And with complete confidence he said "because 99% of them do" as though it were something EVERYONE knows!
Well I didn´t know, and now I know. And a whole lot of other things I wish I knew before, and I hope to prove a whole lot of these things too, unfortunately by having to live thru them.

believer, like you, I have seen MANY strange things happen here at MB. Which is probably why my advice is to not give up hope, if you truly want your M recovered. Because the darnedest things happen around here!

Don't forget, that after the sushi lunch, our neighbors called the cops on us, too. And we were darn near asked to leave the sushi restaurant (waste of perfectly good fish!). Definately wasn't one of our "high" moments.

And every time I wanted to give up, you told me how much hope you saw in my situation, believer. Just as JL did for that other woman, you saw something that I couldn't see at the time. I'd have to say YOU'RE getting pretty good at this, too!

Spidey, er, "SS"

Well there was the BS on here that OM tried to shoot.. when that didn't work OM was stalking his children... coming by his house at night and causing problems... eventually the BS got fired from his job because of all the turmoil OM and WW were causing only to find out that his WW who had been in due diligence to sell her company for a 100 g's had closed it down so she had more time for OM.

In time the guys W filed for D, embezzled about 50 grand from the BS's company, ran off with the OM while the BS was out of town... then like a week later he gets a call from his WW that is several hundred miles away telling him that OM has beaten the WW and taken her car.

Which in turn got the BS and WW back together and in full recovery mode.

Oh yeah that was me. Yes there is ALWAYS HOPE!!

these stories amaze me and make my sitch seem like a walk in the park.

Well, this isn't really the kind of surprise you're looking for, but I'm surprised at myself. AFter working for years on my M, I finally left almost two years ago. That gave me the strength and enery to start to address my relationship with my father and my job. Almost one and the same since I worked for my dad in the family business. That in turn, sent me back to school to take the last 4 class I needed to finish my undergraduate degree. Going back to school was something I had had nightmares about for years. Yesterday was the last day of the last class I need to finish my degree.

It never would have happened if I had had the "happily ever after" marriage. I would be half the person I am today. I probably would have happened if a lot of other people hadn't encouraged me in all aspects. Many of you are here at MB.

Some of you folks have inspiring stories...

I still wonder about WW LaundryMistress. In her last post she was talking about shooting her H or herself, or OM - she wasn't too sure who to shoot. She never checked back in. I searched the web for a news story (shooting) that would fit her. Never found anything. I guess that isn't a "surprising story", at least I hope it isn't.

In my story, I have no surprises - except that we still struggle along - and I finally went to talk to a lawyer today.

-AD

Believer,

Perhaps the biggest surprise story for me was the story that caused me to decide to register and post to this site. It was from a woman called "facing Choices". She had a child by OM, but her H did not know originally that the child was not his. I strongly recommend everyone read her posts and then the ending. I am going to bookmark the first post I responded to her, and then her last post. Please note the dates on these posts and then realize that she did not post here for a few years. Many of her earliest posts were lost in the great disk crash of 99' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Here is one of her first FC's early ones

You can use her member # to find more.

Here is her last one Final Story FC

I continue to be amazed at this story.

God Bless,

JL

Spidey - I forgot about the police being called.

Greengables - Good for you. You took a bad situation and worked on changes in yourself. Congratulations!

JL - Wow, that story gave me goosebumps.

JL


WoW ... what a stunning turn around.

It was fun for me to read your very first post on MB! You came in at a sprint and never slowed down. Brilliant!

One of my favorite surprises is Hope4future ... I followed her story on the Redbook boards ... and she was divorce-bound.... NOW she is a recovery queen!

Pep

Pep, there are 2 WS's with a similar name and I wonder if we are talking about different people? The one I remember is the one who has 2 teenage boys. I do remember the other lady, who also had a great success story! She had one small son around 4-5.

Yes, I think there is some confusion.

There is/was Hope4future and there was Hopeful_person. Actually, there have been a lot of Hope***** on this board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Pep, I am glad you enjoyed the threads. I must say that FC's post came out of the blue and it was such a huge turnaround.

Actually, many of the stories Mr. E's and others have some "surprise" endings. You know upon reflection they are not so surprising because people do change and grow. But, they are indeed unexpected given what was posted here during the heat of the battle.

Must go.

JL

Well, I guess mine is a sort of surprise story too.

I'd lurked for a couple of months then had the arrogance to post "How my BS lifted the fog".

JL was one of the first to reply. He pointed out that the fog wasn't "quite" lifted yet.

And that's when real recovery started. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Jen