I don't think my WW wants me to have a record, so I am not really worried about that....but it may affect the divorce settlement....which I am going to get the shaft on anyway....2 lawyers have already told me I am pretty much SOL....

TM

I know that it's illegal to use a voice activated recorder on the phone line.....but I was willing to risk that. I put one on the phone line at my WH house (I didn't even live there)left it there for 2 days, went and retrieved it. Listened to it back at my own house, called him asked him AGAIN about the affair (He had denied it for MONTHS) he said nothing was still going on......then I pushed PLAY and put the phone up to the tape recorder so he could hear himself and her. He went BALLISTIC, but alas, no tape....no evidence, he can't prove a thing, and after EXPOSURE to everyone that mattered, and the dust settled he forgot about it. I can't tell you what a relief it was to finally know I wasn't crazy. That was worth the risk, IMO. Of course he could have filed charges, and I can't use it for court or anything, but I don't want to go to court....I just needed to know what was going on so I could take the appropriate action to save my M.

I get along with him fine now, we still have SF, I am still in plan A for the moment, and I will be moving to Plan B shortly....hopefully there will be a happily ever after.

I'm not telling you to use a voice activated recorder, I am simply saying that's what I did, I weighed it out and the risk was worth it to me.

I also accessed both his cell phone records (legal) online and HER cell phone records (illegal)online. I have a skip-trace report on her through a friend that is in collections (illegal also).....but now I know more about that b*tch than her Momma, I could bury her anytime I choose....it's just nice to have in my arsenal. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

-Caren

how do you get cell records or phone records...lgally or illegally

I did leave that part out. Yes it is illegal to tap your phone. Basically, any audio recording without the consent of at least one of the parties involved is illegal in Canada.

However, I did check with a lawyer because I gave the tapes to the OMW. I was told that yes it is illegal but as it was not done for the purpose of fraud or for finacial gain, nothing would happen to me even if the OM went to the police. I did not use them for blackmail, or try to get passwords etc. The tapes however would NOT be admissible in court for any reason so you can not use them to prove adultry. Photos and video without audio is perfectly legal in Canada, but again as long as they are not used for illicit purposes, and that is admissible in court.

I went the "ask her first route", and all I got were lies. I spoke to the OM. Met him for lunch (did not give him a choice). Went as far as speaking to the OMW before I knew the real truth and convinced the OM to set it up. I was very transparent, and honest in my pursuit of the truth, and did not get it. When I spoke to the OMW I was very gentle, humble, and delicate with my questions. Later I found out that she was briefed on what to say to me as I was a jelous nut case and would beat my wife if I got the wrong answer. Nothing further from the truth.

I never once in ten years questioned my wife or had any doubts until I came home one day from a business trip and started to find strange things in the house, which made me go through the garbage and find the remenants of a romantic dinner. As I never checked or questioned her they did not even try to cover up very much. Even the phone's caller ID had the OM's cell number, home number and business number on it which was so easy to erase but they did not. His business card was on the night table in our bedroom in plain site. I had never met the man, but it was easy to see who was at my house the two nights I was away.

The only truth I got were the one's I had to find on my own until a few weeks after D-Day when my W sent me an e-mail filling in the rest of the A. She found it too difficult to face me, wrote it all down on her computer, sent it to mine and asked me to read it while she was there.

Is the high road a better option, yes, I agree that it is, but if that does not work what choices are left to the suspecting spouse?

After all the lies, I needed to know and if I did not get the truths, I am sure it would have knawed on my brain which would have made me a miserable partner which would have ended our M.

The knowlege gave me something that I could work with to try to save my M. It gave me the tools to end the A. Our M today is fabulous. I am leaving for a business trip on Sunday for 5 days and I leave without worry, no spying, no bugs, nothing, just mutual trust and love.

So for me, it was the right thing to do. The most important part of my life was in peril and I was not going to sit back and watch it go.

That all said, if you can get the truth without resorting to cloak and dagger stuff great. If you cannot the decision is a personal one on how far you will go.

CarenMC, I like you style.

does anyone know for a fact if it illgal to take emails off of someones computer without permission...cindy is using these by holding them over my head for the 200k equity deed

does anyone know for a fact if it illgal to take emails off of someones computer without permission...cindy is using these by holding them over my head for the 200k equity deed

You can get into the cell phone records by going to the website of the cell phone provider, and if they haven't set their account up online, then all you have to have is the last 4 of their SS# and their billing zip code usually, and you can set it up and access their cell phone records.

It wasn't illegal to do that for my WH, but I'm thinking that it is probably a little illegal to do that for the OW, of course, you'd have to have the last 4 of the SS# (I have all 9 digits of her SS#...so ya know...).

I know her DOB, license plate number, drivers license number, I have accessed her marital records....married, can't find a divorce decree...she doesn't currently live with a SO., I know how much she paid for her house, how much it was actually worth, I know the sq. feet, I know her known relatives names/telephone numbers, I know all of her neighbors names/telephone numbers. I have accessed her criminal/civil records. I know anyplace she's EVER lived, I know EVERY car she's ever had, I know where she banks, where she obtained her mortgage I know her cell number, work number, home number. So basically if the woman even sneezes wrong...I will know.

A little obsessive? Maybe.....Do I care...not so much.

-Caren

Hi PTM....

You are right, get the smoking gun first ...
Other bits dont help to prove anything, the just leave how to cover it up...

Hi PTM....

You are right, get the smoking gun first ...
Other bits dont help to prove anything, the just leave how to cover it up...

For the computer, go to www.spectorsoft.com and buy eBlaster. It really works. You can track email messages, Internet sites visited (porn) and capture passwords.

Do be cautious about jumping to conclusions. Although declarations of passionate love, desire for physical contact and proclamations of future marriage intent COULD be construed as some kind of affair going on! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It is not illegal to install Spector on a computer YOU OWN! It is however illegal to remotely install it on someone elses computer without their permission.

To get Cell records...Easy...go to your online account manager...sign up..use a password...go to view your minutes..viola...you can see exactly who they have called and for how long they talked...incoming and outgoing messages...this is not illegal as long as you are on the account..My WH knows I do this...also, depending on your carrier, you may/may not be able to view minutes right away...sometimes it can take a month... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I have to concur with Mom, I can install what I want on my own computer can I not?

eBlaster is also an excellent product if you simply want to keep an eye on what your children are doing online. It's not just for spying on spouses.