I am curious if anyone can relate to me if the chances of recovery are greater for the WW / BH sitch, or the WH / BW?

Tell me your thoughts, and stories if you care to.

Thanks,

Hosea

Hmmm Hosea, interesting question, I don't know if their are any figures on this, but I have to wonder myself.

-Caren

I have the figures for WW/BH. 70% of time this sitch ends up in D. I read it was because most of the time BH can't get past the A. Also, it is because normally for WW to have an A, they have lost all love for their H and form a bond with OM. Even if A is over, it is very hard for WW to recommmit to M due to their feelings. It is a tough sitch.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have the figures for WW/BH. 70% of time this sitch ends up in D. I read it was because most of the time BH can't get past the A. Also, it is because normally for WW to have an A, they have lost all love for their H and form a bond with OM. Even if A is over, it is very hard for WW to recommmit to M due to their feelings. It is a tough sitch. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">But not impossible - as noted in my siggy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Do you think it could also possibly be that women are more forgiving than men?

realtor--you make a very good point. And I think pride plays a part in that, too. Men have a difficult time with pride (please, guys, forgive me for that, but it seems to be true!).

LL

So in my situation I was discouraged by that 70% D rate mentioned, but if I am willing to forgive, then WW might be willing to also "forgive" and we have a better chance?

From Your Lips To God's Ears

Hosea

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by realtor*:
<strong> Do you think it could also possibly be that women are more forgiving than men? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I contend just the opposite, my WW cannot forgive me for not meeting her needs, and has decided to have them met by another man instead of working with me to build a stronger marriage.

Of course that's just one data point.

Maybe, just maybe you can say that BW are more forgiving than WW?

T

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Hosea_2004:
<strong> I am curious if anyone can relate to me if the chances of recovery are greater for the WW / BH sitch, or the WH / BW?

Tell me your thoughts, and stories if you care to.

Thanks,

Hosea </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This would be interesting to look at it with a real study backed by statistics......BUT I would surmise that a BW/WH combinatiion would have a better chaance at recovery. I think someone mentioned the male "pride" issue and that is very true. Sadly I believe our culture sees it as almost acceptable for a WH to commit adultery than a woman doing the same. Many men are the bread winners and do not have the child rearing responsibilities and thus for them, it is "easier" to leave an unfaithful spouse than vice versa.

I think though that I read somewhere that married women having affairs is GROWING FAST, so maybe this will change.

LM

<small>[ February 04, 2005, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: lemonman ]</small>

Well I am pretty much over the A my wife had. It was a EA/PA and over a 10 month period. I could see where pride would get in the way for most men.

I am a pretty confident person now. I have absolutly no insecure feelings reguarding the OM. I know I am a better lover, companion etc then the OM was. Now sex was always good with my wife, but I became closed off and was never a talker. I became so wraped up in my depression that I ignored her. This OM came into the picture and told her she was beautiful and would listen to her...So my wife made a crappy decision.

I think if a man is confident he can do anything. I want to be with my wife but she know fully well if she ever pulls this **** again I am out. We do not have kids and I make great money so a clean split would not be hard. I am good looking and in great shape. I am very well maintained...friends jokingly call me "metro". But all I know is that a manicure and pedicure, clean well maintained clothes, hair and clean shaven face etc goes a long way...at least to women her in Los Angeles. I basically changed to win back my wifes love. I wanted her to find me attractive again....but on the same note I wanted to show her I was ready to bale if she didn't change...and that I was ready to go out and have someone that would respect me.

My wife knows what she will loose now.....I am not and never will be that fat druken slob I was before.