I am not very good at reverse babble. I usually nod, say nothing, and leave the room. I really would like to reverse some of the crap back at him.

Babble #1: If we get back together it is for son only, not because I want to be with you.

#2: He asked if I missed living with him. I answered yes. He then blurted out, I dont miss you at all.(note: so why is he at my house everyday?)

#3: He told me to find a marriage counseler so we could work our our problems. I gently told him,once OW moved out we could discuss couseling. He now asks me if I found a counseler almost daily.

#4: OW was laid off and is now a fulltime stuedent. I must have looked startled when he told me, he then went on how I had it so good when I lived with him. Hell yeah I was startled. My H was out of work for 2 years with an injury. I didnt have the luxury of staying home and now he is paying NO child support and is paying more to support OW then his son.

#5: He told me that OW is now bi*ching at him all the time over me. He tells her " if I wanted someone to bi*ch at me all the time I would be with my exwife" ( didnt realize I was his exwife, since we havent filed for anything)

#6: He thinks I should be friendly with OW. We can all hang out together and have it be cordial.


#7 He has mentioned getting back together and having an open marriage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I am still in plan A. My A has gone on longer than I wanted it to, but my pastor does not feel I am emotionally ready for B. But my plan A is beautiful. I have been working on myself and finding my own happiness. I can go on without him. I still have my sad days. One of the perks of A has been that is driving OW insane. She has started acting out. She is becoming paranoid and sneaks around to listen to our calls. She has been begging him to atleast file for divorce. H is getting fed up and tries to complain to me. I refuse to listen. Nodding and leaving. Nodding and leaving. When he leaves I have in my mind sent his issues with him I havent been dwelling on his every word or action. I feel a lot better too!

Any reverse babble help appreciated!!!!

I could use an awful lot of help with RB too - I totally suck at it, but I think it would help me handle a very tough situation - may be the only way to save what little sanity I have left. My question is more philosophical: what is the principle behind RB - how do you train yourself to think that way?

David

Sometime the crap he says shocks me and I cant think. Sometimes I just want to stick out my toungue and blow a rasberry at his stupid babble.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cookies:
<strong> Sometime the crap he says shocks me and I cant think. Sometimes I just want to stick out my toungue and blow a rasberry at his stupid babble. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOL!!!!! My wife just manages to hurt me. I wonder what would happen if I did that.....

Well, I have a little more time under my belt here. Your D day was very recent. His babbles used to have the power to cause a major pity party. I would stay in bed crying for days.

I dont let him have that kind of power over me anymore.

Well, I'm not Orchid, and am not too good at babbling back to my H, but I'm willing to give it a try.

WARNING: MAY BE FULL OF LOVE BUSTERS!!!"

"Babble #1: If we get back together it is for son only, not because I want to be with you."

Reverse Babble: "Yeah, me too."

"#2: He asked if I missed living with him. I answered yes. He then blurted out, I dont miss you at all.(note: so why is he at my house everyday?)"

Reverse Babble: "Of course you don't, dear! You haven't had time to miss me yet."

"#3: He told me to find a marriage counseler so we could work our our problems. I gently told him, once OW moved out we could discuss couseling. He now asks me if I found a counseler almost daily."

Reverse Babble: "Oh, are you saying that OW has moved out?"

"#4: OW was laid off and is now a fulltime stuedent. I must have looked startled when he told me, he then went on how I had it so good when I lived with him. Hell yeah I was startled. My H was out of work for 2 years with an injury. I didnt have the luxury of staying home and now he is paying NO child support and is paying more to support OW then his son."

Reverse Babble: "I guess I DID have it good, in a way. I learned that I don't need a man for his money."

"#5: He told me that OW is now bi*ching at him all the time over me. He tells her " if I wanted someone to bi*ch at me all the time I would be with my exwife" ( didnt realize I was his exwife, since we havent filed for anything)"

Reverse Babble: "You have an ex-wife? Gee, honey, that's news to me!"

"#6: He thinks I should be friendly with OW. We can all hang out together and have it be cordial."

Reverse Babble: "I don't think so...but, on the other hand, we could probably have quite a time comparing notes....."

"#7 He has mentioned getting back together and having an open marriage."

Reverse Babble: "Hmmm...that sounds like what we're in now, and it isn't working for me."

Cookies, like I said, I'm not good at the reverse babble stuff, but think it's really past time that I practiced. Weekends are kinda slow, but maybe Orchid, the Queen of Reverse Babble, will check in with you soon. I'm sure she'll come up with some beautiful responses!

Hang in there. It sounds like the OW is about to LB herself out of an affair. You might still have to go to Plan B, 'cuz your WH really seems to have a foggy attitude, apart from the OW.

LC

<small>[ February 06, 2005, 03:12 AM: Message edited by: Lady Clueless ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: I am not very good at reverse babble. I usually nod, say nothing, and leave the room. I really would like to reverse some of the crap back at him. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: LC did a great job. We all have our own version and I liked her RBs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Nodding and not giving him ammo is good. Let's see what we can do.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: Babble #1: If we get back together it is for son only, not because I want to be with you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Don't think our son wants or needs 1/2 a parent and it is sure hard to want t/b w/you right now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #2: He asked if I missed living with him. I answered yes. He then blurted out, I dont miss you at all.(note: so why is he at my house everyday?) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Say something like - 'Oops, I thought you asked if I missed you. Yes I miss my H but not living with a WS. Sorry sometimes your dual personality is confusing. '

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #3: He told me to find a marriage counseler so we could work our our problems. I gently told him,once OW moved out we could discuss couseling. He now asks me if I found a counseler almost daily. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: I found an MC. He said you can talk with him when you are done being a WS.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #4: OW was laid off and is now a fulltime stuedent. I must have looked startled when he told me, he then went on how I had it so good when I lived with him. Hell yeah I was startled. My H was out of work for 2 years with an injury. I didnt have the luxury of staying home and now he is paying NO child support and is paying more to support OW then his son. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: So? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Ask the WS is he a giggilo and a $$ bags kinda guy?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #5: He told me that OW is now bi*ching at him all the time over me. He tells her " if I wanted someone to bi*ch at me all the time I would be with my exwife" ( didnt realize I was his exwife, since we havent filed for anything) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Naw, really? Thought she was just into losing her clothes in different places? So she is a B with loose clothing? Ok. What an ugly pix.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #6: He thinks I should be friendly with OW. We can all hang out together and have it be cordial. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Friendly with the OW? Hm.... let me think about it. Will get back to you. Got to run that by a few people first. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: #7 He has mentioned getting back together and having an open marriage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Open marriage? Like your zipper being open outside our M? Nawh.... not interested.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> cookies: I am still in plan A. My A has gone on longer than I wanted it to, but my pastor does not feel I am emotionally ready for B. But my plan A is beautiful. I have been working on myself and finding my own happiness. I can go on without him. I still have my sad days. One of the perks of A has been that is driving OW insane. She has started acting out. She is becoming paranoid and sneaks around to listen to our calls. She has been begging him to atleast file for divorce. H is getting fed up and tries to complain to me. I refuse to listen. Nodding and leaving. Nodding and leaving. When he leaves I have in my mind sent his issues with him I havent been dwelling on his every word or action. I feel a lot better too!

Any reverse babble help appreciated!!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: LC did a good job. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> OW getting paranoid is progress for you. Now that you feel safer about moving forward regardless of where the WS is, shows real progress. RB is used to remove pressure from you while giving the WS their own guilt or playing back their own stupid sayings. Also it is a tool to make them wonder, providing you don't give them the details. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Thanks Orchid! Thanks LC! I love you responses, they made my morning.

Now off to church with H and son. H has started attending with us again. 4 weeks in a row!

He he - I told my WH MAYBE i SHOULD MEET ow HUSBAND THAT MAYBE WE COULD TRADE SPOUSES ON WEEKENDS. He was shocked by taht one -that was my mother's idea and she is 86.. Love my Mother.

Orchid is the expert, but I wanted to add a few here...I have often mentioned an "open Marriage" to my WH...his answer "NO, it is NOT OK for you to see others" Oh but it is ok for YOU to see OW! "well, yea" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<strong>
#5: He told me that OW is now bi*ching at him all the time over me. He tells her " if I wanted someone to bi*ch at me all the time I would be with my exwife" ( didnt realize I was his exwife, since we havent filed for anything)</strong>

I'm so sorry honey...I didn't realize that *I* was an issue between you and OW!!!

<strong>
#7 He has mentioned getting back together and having an open marriage. </strong>
Wonderful idea, I've got just the person in mind! Thanks for letting me know you are OK with it!

My WH also mentioned an "open marriage." He said we could all live together. HA...I should have said to him...."sure that's a great idea....I will go find me a hot man and tell him to come move right on in."