Everytime I try to close my eyes tonight, I keep having these vivid images of my dad during his final days and also him in the Casket! I cant get these images out of my mind...I keep thinking of how awful it must have been for him. I keep seeing his face when I left for the last time.

Not to mention I just chucked up my entire days worth of food intake.

Then I went over to that stupid Dr. Phil message board. UGH, it is like a bad dream...It's like MB, but the strange thing is...every single post on there is about me, to me!

This one poster REALLY got to me tonight...I registered there this weekend and posted a nice message from Kandi! Then I go back to the board tonight and there is a POSTER..ARGH! I couldnt' help but post BACK to it! Now I realize I may have sounded a bit...ummmm, harsh! Oh well, I AM HUMAN! Oh, but this POSTER!

It is post number 302, if anyone is interested...tell, me, do you think I may have been a bit out of line! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Oh well, those people dont have a clue about MB and what it is all about! **SIGH**

Well, I just took a xanax in hopes of settling my mind from racing all night...I am dead tired. DIdnt' sleep last night either...

My coach has sent Ed his conditions, so anxious to see what he has to say about them! Well, thanks for the late night vent/chat/whatever it is! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Hey Mom,

Just wanted to let you know that we're here for you if you need anything...

I'll be in and out for the rest of the day if you need to chat about anything... (I'm 10.5 hrs ahead of you guys in the US)

Semper Fi,
RIF

I think your story touch many nerves and hit home way too close.

It shows that A is not about look ... it is not about BS ... it is about WS failed to guard ENs and let OP in.

I vote for you to go back to the show ... sorry if you feel otherwise.

Hang in there.
-rh-

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 12:03 AM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Redhat, did you read that post over there already? Why do dyou think I should go back? The producers are mad at me cuz I consider negotiating reconcilation. she cussed me out and told me to get the balls to leave him....Isnt' that my decision? They do want us back/me back, but I dont know if i can do it once again...It is all so painful and really itns't helping me...I would go back if we did reconcile and Ed would repent on the show nanbdapologize!

Thank RIF and RH

Hi M23B,

I'm off to bed (I hope I'll get to sleep) and just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you. I'm shutting down the computer, but it'll be a minimum of another hour before I get to sleep.

Call if you need to. You should have my cell number.

Anyway, I hope you get to sleep and as hard as it is to tune out others, try your best to put that poster out of your mind.

You've handled yourself just fine. When they walk in your shoes and live your life, fine. Until then....they need to cross that bridge, and GET OVER IT!

Thanks P! You are so sweet! I'm still waiting for that phone call! tapping foot! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Momto3Boys,

You are very courageous representing BS. As matter of fact, you are the perfect poster BS to be on the show !... let's face it ... you are white, blonde, blue eyes, an upper/middle class, a stay home doctor's wife. You story stirs many emotions. I do think you should go back ... to stand up and explain what you stand for. You are fighting for your M and your 3 kids ... and actually H from path of WH's self destruct.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>The producers are mad at me cuz I consider negotiating reconcilation. she cussed me out and told me to get the balls to leave him....Isnt' that my decision? They do want us back/me back, but I dont know if i can do it once again...It is all so painful and really itns't helping me...I would go back if we did reconcile and Ed would repent on the show nanbdapologize!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sure ... dr.Phil's producers just want a publicity. You did the right thing to tell her off ... I would tell dr.Phil about her cursing you out, it is out of line. Next time tell her that you have more balls than man to stand up for your family. Isn't it dr.Phil the one who always said that you have to absolutly explore all option ? unless and until you do, you are not ready to move on.

Take your time ... either DD would come back or you will reach that point by then you should go on the show to close your plan B.

Yes, I read #302. Just ignore 'em ... for all you know she might be an OW from TOW.

The fact that you could reach your heart and try to help Joi really shows what kind of woman you are. I quote for you ... "Take pride in who you are and all that you've become. The whole world may never be lucky enough to know what a special woman you are .... but the people who know you certainly do." ... specially on this board.

Go and get some rest <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
-rh-

Oh Redhat...you are so kind! I think i am going to bed now...nearing 1:00 here...did you read my reply to that poster? do you think I was out of line? I hope not! Anyway, goodnight...se you al in teh AM!

Oh mom, I am sorry about your bad dreams, the upchucks and other stresses in your life. You certainly don't need more.

Now will it help if I go there with my RB? LOL!!! Just say the word. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Listen, those people don't have your insight. They are not sitting in your shoes. Neither are we for that matter, so just say what you need to say and don't worry about the rest of the world, ok? Do what is right for you and your family. That is where your responsiblity ends.

Dr Phil's fans and people will think what they like. Most have not been in your sitch so chalk up their conclusions to ignorance. Well meaning intentions but based on ignorance. Not a healthy way to make life changing decisions doncha think?

The good doctor should know better but even he can't control the reactions of others, even his staff. Let it go. ok? You have so much more going for you. You have also suffered much, like many here and are a survivor.

Hugz to you, your boys and your mom,

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Momto3Boys:
<strong>...did you read my reply to that poster? do you think I was out of line? I hope not! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would spill it out too if I was attacked and I would not hold back. Don't worry much about how you 've replied.

-rh-

Arrrrgh Kandi-

I can't navigate that Dr.Phil board to save my life, so I just started my own post entitled: Kandi is a human being!

I read some of the posts....these people seriously need a damn life. Here's what I posted....and I'll continue looking for post 302....I don't see post numbers at all, I joined the site specifically to back you up girl.

Here's my post:

What you people fail to realize in all this is that Kandi is a human being!!!! You all sit here and post what you think about her, that she's "Cold" for what she said to the woman who had a baby with a married man. That's GARBAGE!!!!

Kandi is a real person, she has 3 boys to take care of with virtually no support from her husband, other than monetarily. Her husband has been and is still currently having an affair, and the other woman is PREGNANT....how could she NOT feel that way about this woman's baby. She didn't say she hated the baby, just that it should never have been, and she's RIGHT!!!

The woman was seeing a man she knew was married and became pregnant with his child. Affairs are brutal to begin with, and to add insult to injury there's now going to be a child involved. It was horrible judgement on the other woman and the married man's parts.

You don't know what Kandi's been through, there's no way YOU, or Dr.Phil or anyone else can possible know what she's been through. Do you have any idea what a nightmare this must be?

I do, my husband is also having an affair with another woman, and were that woman to become pregnant, I would feel exactly the same way......that it should have never been.

Get off your high horses and put yourself in Kandi's shoes.

To be honest all the posts I've read on here thus far, have been a blatant display of people who don't have anything better to do than sit and watch TV and then come on here and rant and rave their opinions....yes OPINIONS.

I didn't watch the show, I didn't watch the preceding 2 shows before this one. I KNOW Kandi through another source and I think, if you are all such Dr.Phil fans that you should THINK about what he would think of you berating Kandi.

She has enough turmoil in her life without having it scrutinized by you people.

-Caren

I've got your back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

Kandi-

What is the name of the post?!?!? I can't find it by post number.....or else explain to me how to find it by post number.

OMG, the people on that board are going to hate my guts LMAO!!!!

I just posted how fricken ignorant I thought they all were...LOL

-Caren

Orchid, I know, but taht poster caught me a bad moment! ARGH! Oh well...And THEN, Joi, the OW that was on the show, posted back to me! I felt awful! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Caren, to navigate thru the NUMBERS, got to the board and at teh top it will say OUTLINE VIEW...click that, then the easiest way to get to number 302 is to go to the bottom of the page and hit view newest messages, it will take you to the newest posted messages...then go backwards from there! I think the post is called "Joi is not Ed's mistress" or something like that...My response back to her is "ARe you kidding me???" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

You are doing what we would all do. People need to walk in your shoes before they can say anything. THe OW knew what she was doing and I am sorry, but she did it to her kid. You get married to protect your children, that is really what marriage is about. She took the chance and lost.

You are right to try and recover your marriage. That is what marriage is about. Your H went a little nuts in midlife. So many do. He will pay for that for the rest of his life.

No one can make a deceision (sp?) for you. No one but you. I will support you no matter what.

As for your dad, seems almost like post traumatic stress. You were in such a state when he died that you couldn't go thru the grief process.

Death is hard on the living, not the dead. He is in a better place.

There are a lot of stupid people out there, don't waste your time with that poster. She's probably an evil OW. They are everywhere and hate to be reminded that they are doing wrong. They feel entitled. ARGH! Just know that we are here for you. Hugs-Jersey Girl.

Kandi-

Okay found it....what a stupid @ss. I would have been mad too. It urks me that these people sit around and watch the tube and then pass judgement on the people they are watching....it's insane. natuesqir obviously has some issues.

You did fine, I thought your reply was fine, and you were quite nice to Joi after she posted to you.

I hope you got some sleep.

Those people seriously need a fricken life.

-Caren

Mom,

I don't think you were to harsh at all,in fact I loved your post. As I read some of the messages I was about to open a can of whoop a$$ on the ones being mean to you (yea a bit protective)but I think your post said enough to the naturegirl and anyone else.

I also loved the things you said to Joi!!!
I hope she emailed you


Someone at Dr. Phil's acutally yelled at you about leaving Ed? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Okay Kandi...lol, I nailed that b*tch to the wall, your post was very nice in comparison.

Yeah, I'm never entertaining the idea of going on that show now.....I'm not up for all the judgemental a-holes.

By the way, different people must get different things from the show, because a friend of mine said she was going to buy me a tape of that show....(She didn't know I already talk to you)...she said "There was this woman on there who's H is cheating on her, and you really need to take a lesson from her, she's very strong and she's not going to take it anymore" I said "I know which Dr.Phil show you're talking about, I know her from the board I post on....spend your $30 dollars on something else." LMAO Although I'd love to see all the shows!!!

You're great Kandi, don't let those mindless never leaving the house, sitting on the couch eating bon bons mother f-ers get to you.

-Caren

Kandi,

I read your post on Dr. Phil and also saw parts of the shows. As a BS I am appauled at your WH's attitude. He doesn't deserve you, that's for sure. Your comments weren't too harsh IMHO. I have a hard time working up any sympathy for OW, too. So what that she had a hard life, was mistreated by her 2 husbands. She went after a married man KNOWINGLY. That is just wrong!

You are right that no one can tell you what to do - to leave or stay. No one knows what this is like. All of my friends and relatives are amazed that I'm still here with my WH after multiple A's. I was ready to leave very recently, then he repented. We'll see if it's for real this time.

I'm saying a prayer for you right now. You are a lovely person inside and out. A's have a way of bringing out the worst in all of us. Hang in there and try to disregard the comments of the ignorant and uninformed.

PS - I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity, posting to you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hi Kandi or anyone that can help me find her posts...

I just can't seem to find how to get to her thread on Dr Phil's message board.grrrr
(And I give computer lessons, another grrrr.)

I am going to copy and paste what I SEE when I go to the message board; tell me what to do next.
Thanks so much
P.S. Kandi, you are a good woman and I admire you very much for not giving up on your H or your marriage.
Love, Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

On the left it says Index Message Board and this is on the right, I don't see anywhere that says 'View newest messages' Thanks for your help.

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Here's what I did to find the post:

Click on Community and choose message boards.

Choose "The Doctor, The Wife and The Mistress".
This brings up the link to the show and the messages posted regarding the show.

Scroll down and select Newest Messages. Look for the post titled "Are you Kidding me?" by KandinTX #318. I think that's the one Kandi is refering to.