No bother...really. It was why I became an IG. I could really make a difference a lot of the time, and help get people past many roadblocks.
Okay, your questions:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 1. Will they tell him who asked for them to investigate or will I stay anonymous? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You can request to be anonymous. They cannot guarantee it!! But they go out of their way to make sure that the only way they would reveal who you are is if they have to in the course of their investigation. It is rare that they would have to...but again, there is no guarantee.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 2. Will this have an impact on his carreer as far as loosing rank or maybe even his job? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It very well could. A lot depends on the command, and on your WH. They may order him to stop seeing OW and to move out. That may be the least that they do. Then, if he gets caught again...he goes to jail for disobeying an order. I doubt he would lose his job...they would have to find him doing other things also, like the disobeying the order I talked about above, or drug use, or child/spouse abuse or something. Could he lose rank? Sure. Again, depends on the command. I would say, probably not, unless OW is in the command also. I would say that they will counsel him probably, and order him to quit seeing OW as long as he is married. Then, if he refuses or he gets caught not obeying...well, it will get VERY bad for him.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Cause if he would lose his job, then he would not be able to pay me child support and I might not be able to keep up with the mortgage for the house and loose that too! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I understand. But, this is probably the best route to take and still have a chance to keep everything you have. Why? Because right now, all it would take is one guy in that command who knows what is going on, going to the IG...and then the IG will investigate. And instead of you coming in and trying to get help for your family, the IG will be out to find out what the deal is...and many people, including his commander and 1SG, will go down. It will be a bad scene. So, if he makes any enemies, that person could make it very bad for all of you. Better that you take control of the situation and have this settled quietly.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> One more thing; how do most WS's react on something like this and how will this affect him?
I wonder if this will make him file for a divorce right away in order to be able to stay with her?!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He could file for divorce. That might happen. But it is the same thing every BS goes thru here. If I expose him or her, will they just then run full force to the OP? It might happen, but the odds arent good. Remember, over 95% of these relationships fail. So, the odds are, that even if he runs to her, it wont work. And if it does? Well, you arent out anything anyway...except being strung along for a few more months or years.
On the filing thing, not sure what to do there. If you go to Plan B, you could send the letter to him right as you file for custody/divorce. In the PBL, you can state that you are not seekign a divorce, but that you are trying to protect your children while you wait for his return to the family.
Again, everything here is a risk. But, the odds are in your favor, not the WS. And even if it doesnt work out, you will have closure and the end of the disrespect he is showing you. Again, his lack of honor and character dusturb me, and I would not want to be in a foxhole next to him.
In His arms.
