I just got back from an interview with a Marriagecare MC.

Its a real struggle finding a pro Marriage MC in the UK. I found this as its a UK version of the 'retrouvaille' service provided by the Catholic church.

I met with a manager and an MB - a lay clergyman in his forties.

GOOD STUFF
Marriagecare counselling is about the whole person, not the abstact duties of marriage

It is profoundly PRO marriage.

It is profoundly spiritual ( in fact so Chistian I don;t see how they could successfully counsel another faith or an atheist.

Manager and MC were kind and earnest. Supportive

Bad Stuff

It would appear that Squid and I are already in a place where they would consider to be the result of a successful six months counselling.

Their MC is ased upon setting and agreeing milestone objectives for the couple to achieve to be discussed at the next session and built upon. The MC said this would require great care as we have progressed so quickly past the 'plan A' type black-and-white objectives ( i,e, stop the affair, get healthy, start to talk etc etc).


Overall I felt this was very promising. I am far more comfortable in a pro-mariage Christian based counselling serve that either of the secular arbitration services I checked out before.I have booked my first official MC session, at a date to be confirmed, probably in March.

MarriageCare UKs website

Way to go Bob!!! This sounds very promising! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

RIF it was good to discuss this stuff in the flesh with a peer and a Christian y'know?

Its kind of like talking to YOU sort of thing. No judgment because of a shared knowledge of God and of the dynamics of infidelity. And both guys were VERY approving of the big efforts I've put in to work on my M instead of just righteously ending it.

It was nice to get kudos ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I have high hopes of this. Will mention it to Squid later.

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 08:46 AM: Message edited by: b0b pure* ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It was nice to get kudos ! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Bob, they are well earned... enjoy them!

I'll keep saying it ('cause you didn't say it yet... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

YOU AND SQUIDDY ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!!!!!

Bob, that's wonderful. Was it strange to talk face to face about the A - did it feel good. Did it make you emotional? The nearest I ever got to counselling was meeting 'Anyname'. We opened our hearts to each other for about 3 hours. I also have a great American friend here who has been my rock through all the crap. She never judges but listens and occasionally offers great words of wisdom. She got stung years ago when her partner turned out to be gay. She knows the pain. I'm so glad it seems to have been a step in the right direction - it could so easily have been lousy and a waste of your time. Great news. TT

That is wonderful news - and even wonderful to hear that the progress you have made is considered good!

I hope you acn get Squid to come out to a session so she can start dealing with things.

Let me tell ya - as the FWW - dealing with things SUCKS. It sucks to be reminded of what a bad person you were...but Sprint was right - I needed to deal with these things. And I still am - but atleast I have faced them now.

I hope that Squid can realize that and maybe open up to a councellor to help her deal with the remorse and feelings she has about the aftermath of the A.

If I may ask....why won't she go see one? Also - does she come to MB ever? Or is this your place. Maybe it may help her to talk to some other FWW who she never has to see in real life. It helps to gain perspective by reading both the BS and WS's nput and you can do it on here without feeling shamed, or judged. It's refreshing.

Anyhow...that's my ramble for now on your thread. lol - I am glad you found a pro marriage councellor - that ROCKS.

-ds

Bob, nothing to add.

Just that I'm here, and I'm OK.

Thanks.

Hey SPinning !!!

I am SO glad you're OK ! I sent out a number of paging post sto you but heard nothing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Glad you're OK mate.

Rebuilding after an affair means personal rebuilding too. If anyone here can help you with that, PLEASE hang here and ask.

Only good people can care enough to feel as bad as you did. Use your goodness to make a better Spinning.

Ping me or anyone if we can help OK ?

((((Spinning ))))