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<small>[ February 09, 2005, 08:00 AM: Message edited by: cobra77 ]</small>

Hi Cobra,

Not knowing more details, it's really hard to say... It sounds like your W is being pretty specific as to what's 'wrong'... not that this justifies an A...

Have you read all of the articles here on the MB website? Do you think your W would be willing to go to a MC with you?

Semper Fi,
RIF

Have read quite a bit on MB. We went to MC 3 times - the third time only lasted long enough for her to say she wanted to separate. We have been separated for about a month now but I find myself with her nearly every day. Eating out, shopping, we hug, kiss, watch tv, snuggle and have had sex on a regular basis. But around 9pm I get the bums rush. I'm going nuts over this.

She is still in her fog.

When I was in my fog - my FOM never caused any of this...I actually protected him. Truely believed it just happened, that due to the problems H caused in my marriage that I was so sad, and FOM came by at the right time, that none of this was his fault.

Well....now that I am out of the fog I see things quite differently, I see how i created alot of the problems pre-A due to my negative frame of mind and hurt I was feeling, and when FOM came along, he said just the right things...he desired me, and yet supported me so that it never seemed that way....but he had a goal he was hoping would happen. And I let it happen - he didn't just "happen". Things like that don't just happen.

My H was so patient with me though through my fog, even while in the beginning I STILL protected him. No matter how he felt, he told me he loved me no matter what and no matter what i had done I could stay, and that he loved me.

That love helped me come out of the fog.

Keep loving her - keep meeting her emotional needs now. Get on Plan A. Meet those needs she says you aren't meeting usually they are an exagerated version of a small thing that has some merit - but due to the fog you amplify it and make it a huge deal. If you ever turned her down or didn't show her affection for any reason, it may have come across as it being for her weight. Show her that affection she wants.

She is feeling horrible for hurting you - so she cares. Show her what she is missing.

Read up on Plan A and do it!

Thank you so much for your reply deeplysorry. I am already working on plan A. Sunday I read to her the emails that were sent to OM and she couldn't beleive how easy I got into her hotmail "secret email". Her secret question was our sons middle name!! This revelation of the truth seems to have turned up the tension but, I need to show her that I knew and could prove what was going on.