My guess is that I'm not the only one out there that is dreading Valentine's Day. Ever since I've been an adult, my WH has been my Valentine. This year, even though he has not filed for D yet, he will probably be giving what should be my Valentine's Day card/gift to OW. I've decided to buy myself my own Valentine's Day gift - I think a 1-hour massage. I considered sending myself a beautiful floral arrangement first but then decided I'd get a lot more enjoyment from the massage. Any other strategies out there for coping with V-Day? Any ideas for things to do with small children for V-Day?

I'm dreading V-day too. I have no idea what WH is going to do. He's being nice to me but there is this line that I can't get through.

I always try to make it a special day for my kids. I've got some nice candy for them and a cute Valentine shirt for my DD. DS has a girlfriend but he doesn't know if they will be able to get together. WH hasn't given a hint.

So, will he be with me or OW on Valentine's Day? I suppose that will tell me a lot of what I need to know.

Yes V-day is one I am NOT Looking forward to.

I proposed to WW 16 years ago on the 13th.

We have a mediation regarding custody scheduled on the 14th. So I guess we will be together for 2 hours anyway, just definately for the WRONG REASON.

Hosea

<small>[ February 09, 2005, 07:06 AM: Message edited by: Hosea_2004 ]</small>

Hi VS- I dread it too- especially since my d-day was on V-day! That year dh had got me nothing but got chocolates for the kids.( huge tip-off there!) I"m sure his OW got the present I should have had. I spent that v-day sobbing in my family dr's office waiting room trying to get in to get an anti-depressant. Now I try to avoid v-day altogether although that isn't easy since the stuff for sale is everywhere. I try to fill that day with non-related V stuff. This year I volunteered to do the gymnastics carpool on v-day nite- why not since it will free up the other gal's evenings. I plan to have a self-comfort day the week after v-day- get a massage, manicure, pedicure and maybe a new pair of shoes!And of course eat lots and lots of chocolate desserts. I hope you hear some more ideas- I could use them too! take care- Nancy

Hi VS- I dread it too- especially since my d-day was on V-day! That year dh had got me nothing but got chocolates for the kids.( huge tip-off there!) I"m sure his OW got the present I should have had. I spent that v-day sobbing in my family dr's office waiting room trying to get in to get an anti-depressant. Now I try to avoid v-day altogether although that isn't easy since the stuff for sale is everywhere. I try to fill that day with non-related V stuff. This year I volunteered to do the gymnastics carpool on v-day nite- why not since it will free up the other gal's evenings. I plan to have a self-comfort day the week after v-day- get a massage, manicure, pedicure and maybe a new pair of shoes!And of course eat lots and lots of chocolate desserts. I hope you hear some more ideas- I could use them too! take care- Nancy

Hi VS- I dread it too- especially since my d-day was on V-day! That year dh had got me nothing but got chocolates for the kids.( huge tip-off there!) I"m sure his OW got the present I should have had. I spent that v-day sobbing in my family dr's office waiting room trying to get in to get an anti-depressant. Now I try to avoid v-day altogether although that isn't easy since the stuff for sale is everywhere. I try to fill that day with non-related V stuff. This year I volunteered to do the gymnastics carpool on v-day nite- why not since it will free up the other gal's evenings. I plan to have a self-comfort day the week after v-day- get a massage, manicure, pedicure and maybe a new pair of shoes!And of course eat lots and lots of chocolate desserts. I hope you hear some more ideas- I could use them too! take care- Nancy

Hi VS- I dread it too- especially since my d-day was on V-day! That year dh had got me nothing but got chocolates for the kids.( huge tip-off there!) I"m sure his OW got the present I should have had. I spent that v-day sobbing in my family dr's office waiting room trying to get in to get an anti-depressant. Now I try to avoid v-day altogether although that isn't easy since the stuff for sale is everywhere. I try to fill that day with non-related V stuff. This year I volunteered to do the gymnastics carpool on v-day nite- why not since it will free up the other gal's evenings. I plan to have a self-comfort day the week after v-day- get a massage, manicure, pedicure and maybe a new pair of shoes!And of course eat lots and lots of chocolate desserts. I hope you hear some more ideas- I could use them too! take care- Nancy

Hi VS- I dread it too- especially since my d-day was on V-day! That year dh had got me nothing but got chocolates for the kids.( huge tip-off there!) I"m sure his OW got the present I should have had. I spent that v-day sobbing in my family dr's office waiting room trying to get in to get an anti-depressant. Now I try to avoid v-day altogether although that isn't easy since the stuff for sale is everywhere. I try to fill that day with non-related V stuff. This year I volunteered to do the gymnastics carpool on v-day nite- why not since it will free up the other gal's evenings. I plan to have a self-comfort day the week after v-day- get a massage, manicure, pedicure and maybe a new pair of shoes!And of course eat lots and lots of chocolate desserts. I hope you hear some more ideas- I could use them too! take care- Nancy

Hi fellow MB'ers,

xWH and I are in recovery....but Valentine Day is a trigger day for me too. March 11, 2003 was my D-day and when I found out, I obtained H's cell phone bill. I saw where he had called OW about fifty times while we were suppose to be away for the weekend. I remember when I saw that I just cried and cried.

I was trying to think of something good to do and came across a web site, Volunteer Match. The Salvation Army was looking for volunteers to make valentines for seniors. I signed myself up and dove into the project. Somewhere along the line, I got overcommitted and asked xWH to help me. He did and was elbow deep in glue and glitter. I guess my point is to find a way to believe in love even if it is not with your S at this time. I replaced my bad memory with something positive. Even as we are repairing, I feel love in my heart....I'm not ready to give to H yet...but I still want to keep the flame burning. I hope the seniors who receive those valentines will keep love....I still believe.

Take care of yourselves.....and don't give up hope! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Did someone say Valentines Day? The word makes me sick. YUCK!!!
I am not sure what I am going to do yet. OW and my #1 court case is the 16th, so I am sure I will be dreading that. My kids are going to have a party with their friends, so I will try and focus on that though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Danielle

LIM and Sure,
Thanks for the great idea!!! I just spoke with the local Family & Children Services Center and they would very much like a Valentine's Day Care package from me, some of my friends and our kids. SO - this weekend, I, my kids and whoever else I can recruit, will be making valentine cards so the Family Center can offer them to people that come in on Valentine's Day. We'll also include some store bought candy and maybe some perfume and cologne. There is a nearby Center we might also drop a package that is more geared toward giving people in need things they need so that place might be more appropriate for the store bought items. I feel good about this! I never before thought of V-Day as a painful day and if I help make someone that is in pain Monday feel less pain, then it will lessen my pain. Any generic notes we include will be light and fun.

Danielle, Hosea and Grapegirl - Hang in there!

I am going to treat VD like any other day, I may buy the kids a little something, but I am to be in Plan B at the time, so I won't be getting WH anything....NC is NC.

I had an awful New Years, an awful birthday, so I'm going to make a conscious effort to not have an awful Valentines Day.

I'm sure my WH will get the OW something, I don't know what, since the dumb b*tch works in a candy store, but I'm sure he'll at least get a card, hell, I might get a card, you never know.

-Caren

Hi Folks,

I am not feeling much of anything about Valentimes Day actually.I am making it all about the love I have for my girls.I am neither sad that I don't have my WH around to hug and kiss but neither am I overly happy.I think I have come to the stage of indifference almost.But my DDay is farther past than some of you.

V-Day is a day to share with someone who loves me and who respects me and vice versa.I don't have that right now but that's ok.I would rather focus on my children than the sick adultering acts of my WH and his homewrecker.They can have each other.I'd rather be alone than in an adulterous,selfish,destructive relationship like theirs so I really don't see what they have to celebrate.But whatever.I don't think about them much at all anymore.

We should all take the time to love ourselves( as sappy as that may sound) and our loved ones.I don't expect anything in return,like usual,but definitely will shower my girls with lots of love and fun things and CHOCOLATE! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

O