I have started surrounding myself with all my positive affirmations written out - make desktop wallpaper with positive quotes and words of encouragement, and anything my H does for me, such as a love note or card, taping them to my work area.

And everyday, several times I day I look and read them - it has helped DRASTICALLY in my recovery of my self esteem and self worth - I feel so loved, supported and encouraged. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful H, when I have been a not so good W...I plan on being as good to him as he is to me for the rest of my life.

meanwhile, I wanted to shart some of the things he has said to me or given me, as maybe as the BS, you guys can shower your WS too - if I can feel this way - i bet they can too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Shortly after D-Day, he hand wrote a small quote and added his own - I read this one the most <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
-Anon

You know my songs, and it is far what I most love you for </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Melt my heart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

And a card he gave me last Friday, after another night of long talks...the ones where we went through Z-A (getting out of the affair to today) He said he was going to work, but work was cancelled and he didn't tell me, instead he brought me home coffee from my favorite coffee place, a magazine and this card, which he went to SEVERAL stores to find just the right one. (As I said - I don't deserve him, but boy do I love him, and I will never repeat the actions that hurt him again - look at what I was giving up and risking <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> )

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Outside of Card:

I Believe in Love Because of You

Love can come along
just when we least expect it to
And turn an ordinary life
into something sweet and new.
Love can light a candle
where the sadness used to be
And heal the broken parts of us
with trust and honesty.
Love can give us wings to fly
above the world we know
And lead us on adventures
where we never dreamed we'd go.
Love can lift us to our feet
and teach us how to dance,
Dare us to believe again
and take another chance.
Emily Matthews.

Inside of Card:

You gave me back something
I thought I'd lost -
feelings I thought I'd never feel again.
Somehow you saw through
all the walls I'd built around my heart,
and helped me to trust enough
to let love in.
And I just want to say thank you
for being so patient
and good to me in every way-
for all the things you do that make me feel
like the most special person
in the world -
for being you,
and for helping me believe in love again.

And his words:

Thank you for the comforts you afforded me last night and this morning <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Enjoy a morning comfort or two on me xxxooo
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So I just wanted to share. As a FWW, I feel so guilty on some days, but I know what I have at home, I know what a wonderful man I have, and that I CHOOSE to build a wonderful relationship with. That I will cherish for the rest of my life. Because I didn't cherish him, or us, or the marriage...and almost lost this. I wont every risk loosing this again

-ds

The best to you both.

Please invite your H to read and post here. You two can be inspiration to others.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Please invite your H to read and post here. You two can be inspiration to others.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ahh but he does <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> His name is sprint and I am sure you have read many of his posts.

We come here together - you can tell when we are having bad days as I may post some frustrations...but even in his bad days, he comes here with positives as it helps him heal with it.

And on our good days - you see the love <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We are both very happy to be here as we both find different things that each helps us individually and as a couple here.

-ds

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

I can NEVER keep everybody straight!

I'll pay better attention...........

WAT

deeplysorry

You sound like you have a great husband. I wish you and your husband well. It sounds to me like you two will have a very happy long life together...

If two people can get over something as horrible as an A and come out the other side more in-love then before. There is nothing those two cannot handle.

If the world is burning and you have only moments to live, you will have comfort in knowing that you have someone to hug that truly loves you. That you are not alone.

<small>[ February 10, 2005, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: Hemidart ]</small>

WE are very in love, but don't think that this is easy for us.

We talk non stop. We stay up late and discuss all our feelings. Everyday H has a new discovery of a feeling re: the A that he has to work through and talks to me about it. It sucks - cause I am constantly forced to look at myself during that time, to talk about it with him, to solve it with him, and at the same time, it's healing, to get it out, discuss it and put it to bed.

In one of our conversations last night I jokingly said - sometimes I wish I was Bob Pure's Squid - she has it easy - she doesn't have to face or talk about these things nightly. (bob - dont take this as an insult or making fun - it was just meant in a part where I didn't want to look at my feelings, and didn't by no means mean that she has it better...just describing how I didn't want to look anymore at my bad choice...) H looked at me kinda funny and said - well then I wouldn't be able to get past this if you did that. I kinda shut up. I didn't mean it that way - I will always keep addressing my fears and talking about them as long as he and I need to...but it's no easy thing...not for either of us.

But we always end the night in love, and make love, and talk about the HAPPY things of the day, or the marriage and of our future, and wake up with a morning cuddle....at the end of the day - it may be a night where we don't address anything at all and just love eachother, or it may be another 3-4 hour deep conversation about feelings, about reassurance, about how we are getting there, about understanding it all...but it always ends the same, in love.

I have so much hope and faith in us. I know sometimes H doubts that he is doing the right thing staying...he knows he is here for love, but he also knows those are his fears to deal with, and as long as I stay open and honest and discuss these things with him, he can get over them...I feel the same way...as long as we talk about these things and deal with them as they come up - even if it is hard and hurts at those moment, we are dealing with them and healing one moment at a time.

Anyways - rambling as usual - I should change my name from deeply sorry to ramblingwoman hehe.....just wanted to say - i wanted to share with the world how much this man means to me. But I don't want to give the illusion that we don't struggle.

I love this man for every look he gives me, the way he touches me, the way he knows how to lift my spirits, the way he knows just what to say, the way he can take a bad situation and throw some humor in it and make me laugh, the way he kisses me, the way he looks at me, the way he loves me, the way he makes love to me, the way he makes it safe for me to tell him my fantasies, the way he has fun playing out my fantasies with him, the way it's just us when we make love - even with the fantasies, the way he holds me afterwards, the way he brushes up against me as he walks by me, the way he things about and cares how my day has been, the way he is genuinely concerned over my day, the way he is concerned about my healing, the way he cares on whether I get better or not, the way he encourages me to look deeper, the way he helps me to heal, the way he whispers in my ear while we make love, the way he plays with our children - while I am rather no fun and want politeness and that sort of thing, he is loud and puts the fun of being a kid back in with the kids, the way he never wavers on his ideals and morals, the way he beleives in me, the way he makes me feel about my attractiveness, my intellegence, the way he describes me, the way he elevates me, the way he smiles at me when he looks at me, the way he allows himself to depend on me to take care of him, the way he wants to share in plans for our future, the way he accomadates my needs and wants, even if they are for that moment - like needing the car to drive DD to school, the way he never makes me feel like an inconvience.

Last year was a rough year, and due to my frame of mind I couldn't see that he was STILL doing this stuff...but I couldn't see it, and instead pushed him away, picked fights, until he WASN'T doing this stuff anymore - and he wasn't cause I pushed him into what I beleived. He has always been this man to me, and still is.

I will never be able to express how grateful I am to still have this man in my life and be able to continue a life and love with him

-ds

<small>[ February 10, 2005, 12:24 PM: Message edited by: deeplysorry ]</small>