david i would love to help ...i may have sep agreement from w1 from 1990...covered alot i will look but all my stuff is in storage in basement of dads house

Ah - understand. Never heard anything! (=

and even being in the mortgage bus.for 15 years...i learned stuff from this agreement that i never knew

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by knowalibis:
<strong> and even being in the mortgage bus.for 15 years...i learned stuff from this agreement that i never knew </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's a scary thought!

She's unblocked me from her IM again - but now I'm afraid to say anything. Think I'll just leave her alone.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tanelornpete:
[QB] Went to the laundry room and started laundry. Started in on me on how bad I used to do her clothes - how I ruined so many items (so right - took me a LONG time to read the labels FIRST). But instead of the fight she was expecting, I just said, that was a really frustrating thing to have happen. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ohhhhhhh boy, I am just loving this! You did a spectacular job, David!

You are right, she was gunning for a fight. She feels so darn guilty right now that she can hardly stand it. She was looking to you to assuage her guilt and you didn't take the bait! David, I have renewed faith in you!!

I betcha reality is starting to set in and you will start to look better and better in the meantime. If you go to Plan B in a few weeks, it would be just PERFECT!

One thing that ocurred to me is that it would be very helpful if you started asserting your indepedence - OF HER - in order to attract her. Let her know that you have a life of your own and fully intend to live it. The sun no longer rises and sets ON HER. That will shake her up a bit and add to your attractiveness!

I think ways to acheive that would to not be so readily available to her. When she calls, tell her you are tied up and will get back to her. If she wants to come over, tell her you are sure sorry, but you already have plans, why not some other time? That will tell her that you aren't sitting around pining over her.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tanelornpete:
<strong> Lord, that fog is deep!

She was on IM, I messaged, said 'Hi, what's up?' She sent back "I'm in class". SHe asked if I was taking the kids to school tomorrow...like I'd fotget somehow...I said, 'Yep, on time and eveything'. Then she said 'I'm having a hard time paying attention,' so I replied back 'Well, I'll leave you alone, don't want to cause prolems for you - TTY later' and she fired back "There you go, being defensive again. That's one of the major problems between us. WHat makes you think you were the cause of it" "I said, well, because I sent you an IM in the middle of class..." She said "There were some major problems before that" "I said, I'm really sorry to hear that!" And she blocked me from IM!

Weirdness never stops.

WOnder what her other problems might be. Hope OM messed up....hee hee.

David </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know what I think would make you much more attractive to her? If you stopped IMing her. Let HER IM you. See, if you chase her, she will run. And she will feel guilty. However, if you let her do the chasing, you will be much more attractive.

So, stop IMing her. Let her IM you and when she does, CUT HER SHORT very politely because you are a very busy man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You have places to go, people to see. "I am so sorry dear, but I am right in the middle of something. Can I get back to you later?"

And then NEVER get back to her. Always be the one to end every converstation. Because you are a very busy man.

She needs to know what it REALLY MEANS to not have you anymore and this will help. It will make her realize sooner what she is really giving up.

Dang, Melody - why didn't I think of that before...Sounds great.

New event: she did it to me again. Got home from picking up the kids and found that the water had been shut off and we were behind by two months payments. GRRRRR

So, left the kids with big brother and went off to make the payment down at City Hall. Lo, as I'm driving along, I see my WW driving along (alone at least!) She saw me and was on the phone immediately: "Where are you going?" "I'm going down to turn on the water - apparently you forgot to tell me you quit paying it two months ago?"

Off she goes: "You can't raise the kids that way....thay can't live that kind of life style..."

I just got off the phone. I never saw the bills, she must have been throwing them away. All I got was a huge, embarrassing orange tag on the front door for all the neighbors to get a kick out of....

Well, I have the water bill on auto-electronic pay now, but dang! It never seems to end....

David.

David,

Listen to Mel and "DON'T FEED THE A". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Repeat as necessary, then go get a glass of...water. You have it again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

God Bless,

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Just Learning:
<strong> David,

Listen to Mel and "DON'T FEED THE A". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Repeat as necessary, then go get a glass of...water. You have it again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

God Bless,

JL </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey guys - Off to work for the night, but feeling so depressed I can barely function. At least WW isn't here right now. She'd have a field day.

I need your thoughts, prayers, anything - gotta make it through what appears is going to be a tough night. At least I love my job.

In God's Hands

David

I'm here for ya David!


TM

Thanks TM.

Weirdest thing happened tonight at work. I hardly thought about my WW at all - found myself not even caring what she was doing. I don't know if this is natural or not - too new at this, but for the first night in some time (other than the feeling of peace at home) I didn't go thru cycles of emotions. I just enjoyed my job, planned out the next weeks activities (and tried to guess at what bills I need to catch before any shut-offs happen again - have to call everyone and find out tomorrow.

At least with my new Credit Union I can go online and electronically make payments to a lot of the places I have debts - really cool system - I like it even better than direct-pay because I can divide payments between checks - half at a time.

Gotta get to sleep - sleep seems to be easier every night. Up in an hour and a half to get the kids off to school anyway - time for a power nap - hee hee.

Love and Peace to you all! And Sprint - I did stand and watch the north star again tonight. Just a word of thanks for that great idea....

David

Good to see that the rollercoaster is leveling out a bit. With time it will be even easier on you. Before you know it, you will be RB'ing with the best of them, and your WW won't know how to push your buttons anymore - you will have taken those buttons away from her....


TM

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TravellinMan:
<strong> Good to see that the rollercoaster is leveling out a bit. With time it will be even easier on you. Before you know it, you will be RB'ing with the best of them, and your WW won't know how to push your buttons anymore - you will have taken those buttons away from her....


TM </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Rollercoster is back with a vengeance. Cleaning house, finding empty holes that she left taking her stuff, memories, pain. Takes some getting used to! And with the kids in school, it's LONELY here!

David

So sorry youfeel bad . Wish I coudl say something -how about filling those holes with other stuff -if you need some dust collectors I coudl send you some of mine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by realtor*:
<strong> So sorry youfeel bad . Wish I coudl say something -how about filling those holes with other stuff -if you need some dust collectors I coudl send you some of mine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't need more dust collectors, thank you very much (= Trying to think of how to decorate this place....want it to feel like home, but I want it to be a little different than what W did - she was amazing at decorating.

I'm watching the Home Decorating Channel to learn how. Geez - what else can a guy go thru? LOL

David

Heh - I'm driving WW nuts. Thanks, Melody for your earlier suggestion. I made no contact with her at all today. She just called a little while ago to see how things were going. Told her I was getting ready to go to work. She asked if I was going to feed the kids - I said DS17 was making pizza (he is REALLY good at that). I did't add anything else, and she went on to tell me a little bit about how she's setting up her house. I didn't make any comments other than that she still has a lot of books and clothes over her she needs to pick up. She was quiet for a while, then said, "Well, have a good night at work...." I said "Thanks" and got off the phone. I'll bet anything I know what's going thru her head now. LOL!

W - wanna come home? You are more than welcome - as long as it is YOU... (=

David

Something worrying me here - maybe it's normal for my situation, but it bothers me. I am not feeling ANYTHING for my WW - I don't miss her, I love the time at home in peace with the kids, the time speding figuring out her absolutely covoluted bill paying system - I pay 'em on time, apparently she liked to wait for shut off notices. Already getting out of debt and it's only been a week.

But why don't I miss her? I thought I'd be distraught and depressed right now, panicking, crying, breaking down, and yet that only seemed to be the very first day she left. After that....peace. Serenity - first time in YEARS.

Have I been fooling myself in thinking I loved her , or is this some kind of denial syndrome that I have to go thru? So far, I've been very happy, even if I'm not getting much caught up on cleaning out the mess she left on moving.....she still has tons of books, cds, shoes, clothes, etc., here. WIsh she'd finish this!

Is there something wrong? Should I be waiting for another shoe to drop, or something?

David

David,

I had those feelings also. Sometimes I was glad she was gone and given our situation of her lies, I could not have gone on much longer living with her.

But then the roller coaster ride goes on, then I want her back so bad. Just be prepared that what you feel right now, may change in a moment.

How are you doing otherwise?

Keith

David,

This is normal. It is your body and mind trying to protect you from the pain. When I went to Plan B, after two weeks, I was feeling the same way. Felt pretty good, stopped thinking about the WW so much. Then, when she walked in the door and said she wasnt leaving until we talked about her coming home...it all flooded back. I had wondered where it went. But my mind had hidden it from me. But once she was there, it all came flooding back. That is why in Plan B, it is important to stay in NC....to allow your mind to protect you. So remember that when you go to Plan B.

In His arms.

its called the acceptance stage.