So it's done.

I fought for my M for a grueling year, but in reality fought for years for a M that was doomed by her first A 3 months in.

I spent the past month listening to WW give excuses about not having the time or the money, while she galavants all over the place doing things that take both time and money.

My frustration with her over the past month(s) has actually been a good thing. It's helped me to really close that door.

So, I took my time, and my money to pay for a D that she and her numerous affair partners all contributed to. But it's left to me to do the dirty work. And that's a tough pill to swallow.

So I found a lawyer that would do it for $500. I went in, gave him a check, filled out some information. I waited for about 10 minutes while he printed up the paperwork. And I signed to dissolve the M that fought so hard for. And to be quite honest, I felt......

....nothing. Not relief, not sadness. Nothing.

He'll file the paperwork on Friday. She'll sign the waiver of service and then 15 days later, it'll be final. If everything goes smoothly, it'll be done in three weeks.

TM'd WW to call me when she was off of work. I told her what was needed from her, and what was next. She didn't even say thank you for doing this.

So there I am.

Looking forward to......ummmm.....looking forward.

Ethan

Ethan,

Sorry you got stuck with the clean up. One thing though, you are not leaving a mess behind. She is.

All the best to your new found future. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

{{{mb hugz 2 U}}}

Aloha,
L.

tfm:

I have visions of great things for you in the future!

Really.

best,
-Qfwfq (aka 2long)

FM,

You put up with a lot in your marriage. Your ability to endure this for a year, without having to consider the best interests of children, is a testament to your dedication to the institution.

I feel I will likely have to pull the trigger on our marriage as well. I'll see you at the finish line.

Binder.....AKA......well....Binder...

Ethan,
As it looks now, in the near future, I'm going to want to copy and paste a LOT of your words into my own "I filed today..." post. In other words, I'm feeling all those same things... as my WW has left it up to me to put our M out of its misery.

For what it's worth, here's what I constantly try (doesn't always work, but I try) to remind myself...

It's not about me.

I will -- I WILL -- get over this, and I will be happy... everything I've gone through will only help set the stage for a MUCH better life.

In a year, or two, or twenty... I will NEVER have to look back and say "I could've...I should've... tried harder to save my marriage."

As absolutely UNreal and UNcomfortable and IMprobable as it feels right now... I know that before too long, I WILL find someone else who will not only love me the way I want and deserve to be loved, but will also be able to receive and accept the love I have to give.

Things are going to get WAY better. We've survived just about the WORST that life has to offer. Surviving is a GOOD thing.

On top of all that... reading your signature... you're a youngster... the best years are ahead... lots of 'em !

thinking of you, ethan

someone kind of eluded to it above but the fact of the matter is she is the one that's going to have the mess. she will someday realize and have to answer for the consequences of the choices she's made. maybe it won't be until she stands before God but it will happen. what you've done over this past year like you've said is do all that you could so that you will be able to look back and not regret what you did or didn't after dday.

i'm not surprised that you didn't feel anything and i think it says a lot for the way you've handled things and where you are at now, which is again like you said, looking forward to looking forward.

BTW, my divorce was final on the 25th of january and that was almost 4 months after my ex filed. once my lawyer agreed to receive service on 11/5/04 i was told that if we agreed to everything then it could only take 3 weeks. well it took almost 3 months. now granted most of it had to do with us being in 2 different states and all the office closures for the holidays. but the good thing is, i'm doing awesome!

continued prayers to you, RR

Yo Ethan - you have already accomplished and secured the most important puzzle piece for a properous and happy future - a clear conscience.

No wondering or regret is in store for you in the future looking back at this milestone.

And think of what you've learned! You WILL be a lot smarter and wiser when you enter your next relationship.

How 'bout a weenie dog to tie you over? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WAT

As has been said you've learned much here and in your M, remember your lessons well.

Please continue to visit here and share and most importantly always remember that IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to all for the replies.

At this point, it really isn't something that I'm sad it about. It's not going to be something that quite honestly is going to impact my day to day, week to week goings-on.

I just came to a point where I realized that it wasn't just "fog", that she just was who she was, she is who she is, at least for right now. I sincerely hope that this isn't who she always is, but I wonder what she'll have to go through to get to the other side. Who knows.

I still consider this an MB success, although my marriage wasn't salvaged. Perhaps this was one of the cases that shouldn't be.

My life has been rebuilt from what it was, and I had gotten to the point where I had only one negative in my life. WW. Everything in my life was SO positive that it just wasn't making sense anymore.

I'm happy I waited as long as I did, honestly.

But I'm equally happy that it'll be over soon.

And as a way OT P.S.......

The Mardi Gras Ball was a blast!

Ethan

i read most of your posts because it reminds me of my situation... i am due to file in like 30 days after WW left for OM 17 months ago... i am no longer sad about it either and i am glad i waited as long as i did... i sometimes wonder what WW will have to do to get to the other side of herself... who knows... i am becoming more indifferent to it by the day... she is no longer my challange...
good luck and good growth...

"failure is not failure, unless you don't learn from it"

samm