I'm not having a good day today, sitting here at the computer crying my eyes out. We are refinancing some debt and I was going through the filing cabinet looking for some papers and I found a folder of my H's bills. I found his credit card statements from last year and looked at them. There are charges for flowers and hotels for when he was seeing OW and I just broke down.

So I finally did it. I sent him an e-mail telling him I am not o-k and we have to address our problems. I need to know what happened with OW, why it ended and why he came home. He moved back home in November and we have never discussed what happened, we have just pretended everything is alright. I am a horrible conflict avoider and apparently he is too. He was off of work for 8 weeks and we spent almost every minute of every day together and never once brought up anything. I guess he's o-k pretending nothing ever happened and moving on. But I am not. I hope this is a step in the right direction. I guess I'll see if he responds to my e-mail. I asked him to see a MC with me.

<small>[ February 14, 2005, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: kloe72 ]</small>

My H called and I thought he had read the e-mail. I was crying when I answered the phone. But my e-mail got blocked for some reason so he hadn't read it so he had no clue why I was crying. He asked what was wrong and I said I was just not having a good day and I was depressed. We talked a little bit and he did say he would go to a MC. He is going to IT and seeing if he can get the e-mail. Now I feel even worse because when an e-mail gets blocked it goes to his IT department to read before sending on. I think it was blocked because I had the word Wh*re in in when referring to OW. Nothing ever seems to go right.

Kloe - Hang in there. It is much healthier to work through all of this than to stuff it. How's that little one doing? She's cute as can be.

She is wonderful. As I was crying I was just staring at her perfect little face. I need to be stronger for her. I want her to grow up in a happy, healthy family. I want to address our issues and just move on. My H was asking why I was just bringing stuff up now, after all this time. I'm sure he thought I was alright because that is all I ever showed him.

Now is the time to dig in your heels and fight for your daughter. Crying is not going to do it. And believe me, there is nothing tougher than a mother protecting her young.

Let your husband know calmly that you are not interested in having the old marriage, you want a wonderful new one.

Now is the time to dig in your heels and fight for your daughter. Crying is not going to do it. And believe me, there is nothing tougher than a mother protecting her young.

Let your husband know calmly that you are not interested in having the old marriage, you want a wonderful new one.

He read my e-mail and told me he loved me. Then he asked if I wanted to met him for lunch so we could talk. He really has done everything right since he has been back. If his phone rings he always tells me who it is, he tells me where he is going. I've been to his office several times since he's been back at work and we walked all around to show the baby off. At this point the ball is in my court to tell him what I need, he can't do what I need if I don't tell him.

kloe - Sounds very promising. Hang in there and do the necessary talking for recovery.

I'm off to lunch. I'll let you know how it goes.

Lunch was nice but we didn't have a chance to talk. The restaurant was too loud and crowded and the baby had to be fed. Tonight we are going to a friends house for dinner. Hopefully we won't get home too late and will be able to talk, if not then some time this weekend.

Oh yes, I remember those days (baby needing to be fed, burped, held, changed). Enjoy them.

No hurry to talk. He knows something is up. You could even right him some notes if you think you will get too upset.

And where the heck is Spidey???????????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

And where is Weaver? She's been telling me to do this for a VERY long time!

Kloe, this is my 1st time posting to you, but just want you to know it is better not to move forward without dealing with your H's A. It would be like getting raped and never having any therapy to overcome the trauma. Early on for me at MB someone wrote to me that an A is like my WH put a bullet in my head, but unfortunately he is the only one who can help extract it. Your H has only been home 2 months so maybe it's good that you have been enjoying one another. However, finding those receipts just smacked the reality of his A right in your face.

After our OW was finally out of my H's place of business I went in there several days a week to help out. I did major snooping and found the credit card bills for that whole year. I got out my calendar and marked every restaurant receipt that was in there. They weren't all with her, but I wrote it all down. Also wrote down the hotel bill for the one time they went away together. It sucks! Figure out what you need to know and let your H know you need him to answer any question and comfort you. And follow through with the MC. Hang in there! CV

Yep - Where is weaver, that little beauty?

I've been trying to curb my MB addiction a bit.
Before my DD comes back with her little timer and does it for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I saw your baby's photo Kloe! How totally cute. I'll just have to assume you look just like her (only a little older <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

I'm glad you finally broke the ice. Hope you can find a good MC who challenges you to keep the important communication going. I imagine he was VERY shocked to have you bring it up. It is not any better for him to stuff it either, I wouldn't think.

I'm trying to learn to keep my mouth shut once in awhile. Hard to imagine having the opposite problem.

I opened my mouth on a thread here a while back and I still wish I hadn't.

Well this will bump your thread and hopefully Spidey stops in today.

Hope you had a chance to talk last night Kloe, while you had some momentum going.

Weaver - Actually the baby looks nothing like me, but just like her Daddy!

We didn't talk last night. By the time we got home from dinner it was the babies fussy time. However, before we went to sleep my H held me and said "You know I love you and I'm not going anywhere." He also said we would talk tonight. I have a call into a MC that someone recommended; however, she is out until Monday. He has been very supportive since we talked yesterday and really has been doing everything right. It is me that needs to step up and tell him what I need.

I think MC will do a lot of good for you guys. We went for about three sessions. It made me realize a lot of things about myself. That I really didn't see before. Also helped me understand my husband a little better. Things went well but as soon as he talked to the OW it went back to the foggy crap. So we stopped going because if he wasn't going to fully commit there was no use to waste the money.

I saw the baby's pic. She is so adorable. I sent you a few of Chloe's pics the other day by email. Didn't know if you had a chance to check it or not. Also I have some updates for you. When I get a chance I will email you later.

Still here thinking and praying for both of you. And happy that things seem to be turning around for you.

Email for ya <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Got it, check yours.