FACT: I have not found any contact between OW and H since september (and I foudn he went online and sent her a text message)

FACT: There has not been any "cell" phone contact between them since June, When he changed his cell number.

FACT: My H has been accounted for at all times since July.

?: Supposedly OW no longer works at his work as of September and day of last text message I caught. (i have no way of proving this one way or another)

?: I dont know if H talks with OW on the phone at work. (can't prove this either)

PARANOID: I was having a fluke week that week and am back to normal not being as paranoid or anxious BUT occasionally i have thoughts today when i called him at work it sounded as if he just clicked over not picked up the phone he sounded a bit agitated through the phone call, once i said i'd let him go he sounded happier saying i love you sweety etc. ( i do know he had a bad day but still) ughh i hate when i do that to myself. but ididnt say anythign..

this is just a ramble of things i'm thinking about..

mylife25,

I hope you don't mind me asking you a question... How did you find out your WH had sent a text message to the OW? The reason I am asking is b/c my H received a text message that said, "Hi babe!". I couldn't tell from the text message who it was from or from where it was sent. H said it must be some of the guys from work playing a joke. He said you can log onto Nextel.com under send a text message and all you have to do is enter the cell phone # of the person you want to send the message to and type in your message. If he receives a text message sent froma computer, is there any way to tell where or who it came from? Thanks (if you know). -SNS

Well.. in the past They used to text message on his cell phone utnil it started showing the actual number it came from and he knew if i saw any that just came from teh computer I would know i did not send it and suspect the Ow did. but the last time when i said i found out i found out by accident b/c I did a serachy on windows for any files that had been changed and i clicked on some of the files one said www.att.com text message etc at 8:56 (she has at&t so i knew it was to her. ) when i confrtoned him he had no choice but admit it. but i didnt know what it said.

Thanks for responding. Well, the text message must not have been from a phone b/c there wasn't a phone number listed. If it was OW, she must be sending them from a computer. I'll call NEXTEL and see if there is a way to discern where a text message comes from. Thanks again, -SNS

FACT: My H is supposed to get off work at 9

FACT: i calle dhim at work a few minutes ago and he said "i'm on a supervisor call i just got at like 9 i'm finsihing up documenting it and leaving"

PARANOID: that he's really talking to OW and for some reason didnt finsih his conversation by 9 so now has to finsih it before leaving.

FACT: WHEN he hung up he was on the other line. i could tell

? : I will never know....

FACT: 6 MIN LATER HE CALLS ME
FACT : IT normally takes hime about 5 min to walk to his car.

Fact: when i called him he siad he had to finsih his call and document it..

?: He says that the guy just wanted a new system so he transferred him thus not having to do adocumnet on this case.

Paranoid: still a little bit

You lost trust once and even if he says true you still - have no trust...

He can be busy, he can have a business person on the other phone, he can be upset re: work.. and you'll think he talks to ow...
Not healthy, for you, and I know it's so hard to avoid.

Yes, guts is (almost) always to be trusted, but - besides this, how is he with you these days, do you feel him 'being at home', settled with you... are you pleased with his behavior when he's with you...?

Mylife - don't consider yourself paranoid! Did your husband ever do a NC letter? If not - consider that - have him write the OW one, give you a copy of it, and mail it yourself to her address.

Let him PROVE there is no A!

David

Belonging to Nowhere. thanks for responding. I dont really have a "gut" feeling I just get suspious ideas when things are out of normal. I dont know some times are better then others and I can rationalize with my self. Other times i just think ughh what is he doing.l

See he wanted to come back home he treated me like gold its been 1 year. since hes been home. things were up and down until september whent eh ow was supposedly lquit working at his work. now for the MOST part he is good. i KNOW he loves me and he has agreed to go to MC ( a HUGE GIGANTIC step for him!!) So i know he cares. I know he can not be in an active realaionshiop with her bl/c he is never unaccounted for and i see all phone bills. but i dont know for a fact that she does not work there i aslo dont know for a fact h e does not have contact with her while hes at work

He did nc letter but also broke it before . like i said i'm confident he does not disapper or use his phone or anything its just while hes at work i feel this way <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mylife25:
I dont really have a "gut" feeling I just get suspious ideas when things are out of normal.
---
See he wanted to come back home he treated me like gold its been 1 year. since hes been home. ----
i KNOW he loves me and he has agreed to go to MC ( a HUGE GIGANTIC step for him!!) So i know he cares. I know he can not be in an active realaionshiop with her bl/c he is never unaccounted for and i see all phone bills.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's enough, more than enough (for the time being).
Don't ruin your M chances by being suspious (have caution, but don't accuse him, nor 'investigate him' too much, not that he sees it anyway... that can kills (his) love, you know that?)

Let A go, A and OW are the least important in your M if he's willing to work it out.
Past to the past (ow to ashes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ), focus to rebuilding your R and to your kids, together.
(Work on your self-esteem too... should be better, for he's at home with you not with her, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

ML25 - My wife has accused me of not wanting to talk to her because sometimes when she called me in the past, I was short on the phone. She didn't understand that when I'm at work, I'm at work and that's what I think about. I didn't understand that when she calls me, she needs to talk to me. So..., she has learned that email works best for "Hi, how ya' doin'" and the phone is for important things. I have learned that when she calls me at work, or on my cell, or anywhere else for that matter, its important and I need to listen, even if it means putting other things on hold. I learned my lesson, and she did too, by having that conversation. If your H has repented and ended the A, perhaps a simple, non-confrontational talk over a glass of wine might be in order. By the way, my wife has had an EA, I have been the BS, and we have survived. Her EN's weren't being met which led to the A. Wish I had known about MB when I got married.
Mo'

THanks guys! good advice. I need to calm down a bit i think. like is aid i do better at times but i guess now heres my big question. WHEN I GET THESE SUSPOIUONS HOW DO I DEAL WITH THEM? i do not confront him on any of these but i need a way to deal with them on my own. Because i know most of my suspoins that i can prove come out to be only that only me being worried over nothing. its the ones that i can't prove that get me upset. Thanks