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Joined: Aug 2004
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Dork calls today (well everyday lately...and it's like 20 times a day!) while I'm at work. I don't answer the phone at work because 1/ I am working and 2/ I don't want to talk with him.

At the end of the day I looked at my missed calls and there were 16 from him. That doesn't count the numerous (probably 16 or so) calls directly to my work phone.

Finally, I answer and he's all sad and mopey that I couldn't even just pick up the phone to say hi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

We started to talk about the sale of the house and a few other things when he tells me he's upset because all of these jobs he thought he would have aren't there. He has to move to the east coast or go overseas for what he wants.

I told him to go if that's what he needs.

Then, I'm told I don't understand. This is out of his control and he feels so isolated and has no one to help him feel better <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Yep. Never felt that before <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

THEN.... and this still leaves me here crackin' up....

he tells me it's all so bad because on top of everything else, he feels me pulling away from him.

YA THINK?

I don't know. Maybe he missed the divorce memo. And the "I don't want to be married to you" memo. And the "I'm selling the house to make the divorce easier" memo. And the "I'm moving to an apartment because it'll be easier as a full time working single mom" memo.

He feels me pulling away. Puh-leaze!!

You only NOW got around to feeling that.

He calls a gazillion times a day. I answer maybe two of those calls and usually so the girls can talk to him.

Oh well. I just had to laugh.

AND... this one cracked me up to...

when he said that he's sad about the job situation, I said, "Yeah, I imagine it's all the more difficult when you realize you've put yourself in this situation."

"Yes! Exactly!", he says.

Like I'm being the sweet understanding wife trying to help him feel better.

He knows me better than that. Someway, somehow, he missed the sarcasm in that one <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It just made it all the more funny I guess.

Dork!

<small>[ February 10, 2005, 11:08 PM: Message edited by: faithinme ]</small>

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Reality bites! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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FIM, I have not ( YET! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) been in the situation of having my Squid wanting a divorce but I am alwasy amazed how clingy and desperate for approval WS get between filing and closure of D papers.

Very odd.

Great you can laugh about it though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Yep, funny, but at the same time very sad. This is why we call it "watching a slow train wreck."

He's pitiful, but know what? He's WAY ahead of my XW and many other WSs you'll read about here who cannot even consider (or at least admit) that they may have messed up. In other words, at least he has a chance of becoming a humble dork. All the better for your children.

So, who's better off? A whimpering, pitiful, wallowing, too little too late, WS finally hitting bottom or one still in their stupor and denial?

It will be instructive for all of us here if you'll keep us informed. I PROMISE that the info is purely for research and should NOT be construed as rubber necking the train wreck. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WAT

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FIM,

I started to write some answers for you, but you can do that better than me.

The next time he calls, tell him to read your Plan B letter, when he complies with ALL of the conditions, you will talk with him again. THEN GO DARK!

When he drags his poor sorry butt back, you can analyze where you are at, where you want to go, and if he is worthy to make the journey with you.

Hang in there, I think you are swell.

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Thanks for the bitter sweet laugh.

Ugh.

Well, I for one, am glad you're not hooking your sails to THAT ship anymore!

He is really clueless to the plight he's put you and his children through.

Sigh.

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You are the awesome-est!

Think of how lovely it'll be to have a place of safety that he has no ties to....I'll bet that just sounds sweet to you!

- Kimmy

PS - I still want to push him off the Riverwalk. Would that be okay with you?

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YOU are pulling away? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He probably has this utopian ideal of you both just being the best of friends, talking everyday, still sharing your lives with each other. The only thing changing will be you are no longer M and he will have no more guilt about carrying on with the Child/OW.

Yep, he's planning on finding a job out of town...probably following her to where she will be working.

When you move it would be a good idea for you not to let him know where you are moving to, and not giving your home phone number...only the cell.

Your continued contact with him continues this belief in him that everything will work out JUST fine. Send a letter, tell him no more calls, it's time you stop listening to him and helping him feel like he has you strung along...

It's amazing the high expectations WS have of other people, but don't hold up for themselves...

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I had quite moments with him, that I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry…

These two ones happened 2-3 weeks ago:

X: Why don’t we start from beginning, dating, and see if we can get back together
BtN: Does it mean you broke up with her?
X: She’s not important.
It shouldn’t bother you at all – I see her so rarely. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


X: All this time I had hope we’ll reconcile. You know, I have many invitations to party, I also need someone ( ow is not someone, I guess <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) , and all this time I was alone, waiting if we can reconcile ( if you wait enough that’s reconciliation itself ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )
I: Yes, you should accept invitations, you should go to parties, and be happy ( he look so unhappy all these months, so much that I have to feel sorry for him… <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )
X: If you wish so. ( he were waiting for my permission ? LOL)


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ February 11, 2005, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>

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He's still living in fantasy land. He is treating you like his mommy. He thinks he can just continue to be a bad boy and come home. Next time he calls, remind him that you are not his mother. Let him TRY and get his needs met elsewhere. Reality bites. You have been dealing with this for months. He is JUST starting to feel what is going on.

Hope you and the kids had a nice day yesterday. Hugs-JG


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