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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895 |
The Top 5 Valentine's Day Romance Tips
5. Phrases to avoid at dinner: "fully tax-deductible"; "violation of my parole"; "by decree of Lord Satan"; and "unpaid humor-list contributor."
4. If there's any chance whatsoever she might sleep with you, do the safe thing -- get rid of those "Star Wars" sheets.
3. When role-playing, do not suggest that she be the hot chick at work.
2. Start your date as late as possible to lessen the odds your true self will accidentally surface.
1. Your choice of gift tells a woman what you think about her. Roses, for example, say, "No chocolate for you, tubby!"
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 218
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 218 |
Loved this one:
'Tis better to
have loved and lost,
this painful truth I know.
And therefore do
I give thee thanks,
thou two-faced freakin' ho.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,140 |
Ever since the day you left me,
I've been so miserable, my dear
I feel almost as bad as I did
When you were still here.
-- from "Since You've Been Gone" by "Weird Al" Yankovic
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895
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Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895 |
I wanted to post 'em all, but thought better of it. They really cracked me up...
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823 |
LMAO I liked these
Roses are red,
they come by the trainful.
I hope your death
is slow and painful.
-and-
Despite your sexy body,
and the fact
you're good in bed.
I still think
you're an *******,
and I wish that you were dead.
-Caren
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 895 |
Here's two I loved.....
Although we've drifted
far apart,
I'm not one to hold a grudge.
I hope you loved
each lucious bite
of my box of Ex-Lax fudge.
Look out your window
on a moonlit lovers' eve,
No, this window over here.
Hi. It's me.
Now wave,
'Cause stalking is a
lonely, lonely business,
and a little feedback
goes a long way.
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