I'm 24years old, It has been 1 year 5 months since I got married. Our marriage was arranged and we started to get accoustomed to each other only after marriage. Everything seemed to fall apart because I cannot have intercourse.Both of us were virgins.And to me, intercourse was a painful, sour, incomplete experience.I have seen a gynecologist who assured that nothing was wrong with me after vaginal examination.Nothing was wrong with him either.Now time is running. I have never had full penetration, because I loose interest in that stage and I get switched off, which makes me stop him from going any furthur. My husband is so loyal and considerant, but sometimes he feels that I am acting and I have exceeded that limit.We have read marriage articles together and the proper way of making love but to no avail. We always reach orgasm without penetration which is really leaving the both of us frustrated. I can't talk to anyone about this, neither can he. We don't have marriage councellor in our place. I feel that the time he will get fedup is not far from now. I love him and I cannot afford to loose him over such a problem.

<small>[ February 12, 2005, 04:04 AM: Message edited by: Aida ]</small>

Speak with your doctor and seek counselling and/or medical support.

It is not uncommon at all. A friend and he husband had similar problems. They were resolved without embarassment with clinicl and counselling help !

Do not fear, it can probably be resolved !

All blessings !

Ok to be frank with you. A woman needs to be stimulated and made love to in the right way to make it pleasant for her. I went through this when I was your age. It was not me it was the way I was treated. Gentle loving helped me -go read some books with your H and learn -you cna learn and it is wonderful when it happens -made me into a sex crazed woman. I did not enjoy until I was 32 yrs old -felt I had alot of making up. It can happen.

Okay...I have a question. You said that you both reach orgasm without penetration, correct? Okay, here's what I'd try, if he is able to bring you to an orgasm without penetration, then he should do that BEFORE you try to have intercourse, that way your body will be ready to receive him. I think that might work.

Are there any "hang ups" you have about sex? Like were you told that sex is bad, and that women only do it to satisfy their husbands?? A lot of times psychological stuff gets in the way of being able to have a satisfactory sexual experience.

-Caren

Hmm,

Since you have already seen your Dr..then it is probably a psychological issue.

Lubrication and relaxation are your best friends.

Perhaps your expectations are rather high..as you are no doubt aware..there can be some discomfort when a woman begins to have full penetration.

Do not expect to reach orgasm..do not expect to be "into it".

I would make it my goal just to achieve penetration..and over time explore enjoying it during sex.

Caren had a very good idea..why not allow your H to bring you to climax and then attempt penetration?

Also..you may have better luck on the EN board..as this is not really an infidelity issue.

Best luck to you and your H,

Noodle

Usually before marriage, a lady will come over and give some education to the girl. This issue is never discussed between mothers and daugthers. Well, who gave me that adivce told me that it will be very horrible so don't resist or else you will be taken to the hospital for tears. She also told me that there is nothing I can enjoy about sex at all, but the aim is to satisy my husband. As for me, this issue remained in my mind and it is coming back in that very moment that penetration is about to happen.

I'm sorry that you have been so ill prepared <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

You have already experienced orgasm..so you know that sex can be enjoyable..you are just going to have to overcome some bad programming.

I will tell you..that in my own experience..even the first time is not very uncomfortable..if your H goes slowly and pays close attention to your reactions. I was able to climax the first time..but it was a suprise..don't expect it.

Perhaps the two of you can experiment without pressure..agree to play with penetration..but reach orgasm in the way that you have been thus far until you become more comfortable with the idea.

As for tearing..it should not be a problem..even if you were very poorly lubricated and he was very rough..any tearing would be quite minor..remember..babies come out of there, that area of your anatomy is designed to stretch quite a lot.

Have you considerred a sex therapist?

Noodle

OK, I'll ask...is this post for real? Arranged marriage, the horrible english? Not trying to be callous, but these boards are subject to the occasional troll.

Aida-

Can I ask what country your from hon???

-Caren

CAREN,

I am an Arab,

And we don't have sex therapists here.

The lady who educated you was misguided and misguiding you. You should disregard all of her advice.

Maybe you can order some books off the internet that will help you since there are no therapists there that can help.