hi suzychapstick,
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. As for how long it's been going on, well you may never know for sure unless he tells you, either whilst in counselling or out of the goodness of his heart. Even if he is being completely honest with you, then you may wonder, did it really start then, was this the first, etc.
Having said that you may already know when it started. Cast your mind back and think about when his behavoiur started to change, or when you got that feeling in your gut that something was not right. I know for me that this was within a few days of her behaviour starting to change, it led me to catch her in the act.
What I can tell you from my own experience is this;
* You will also wonder if they reall are over the OP. Rest assured that time will hand this answer to you on a silver platter!!
* You will always wonder how long and if this is the first, this is normal and it's difficult not to obsess about it.
* That WS's will be horrible to be around whilst in withdrawal. They will sap alot of your strength and at times make you wonder why you are putting yourself through this. Of course it helps to keep the end game in sight!!
* They will also be a little lower on "their special days". Aain, this is normal and given time and genuine willingness to work on things he will come out of it. E.g. My WS knows that I sometimes speak to OP's spouse. WS recently told me that she wouldn't be at all surprised if OP's spouse made a play for me as she must surely know I am the better man. Not something that I ever thought I would hear from those previously cheatin lips!!
Stay strong and stay focused!!!!
<small>[ February 13, 2005, 12:37 AM: Message edited by: RenaissanceMan ]</small>
