Here's my Plan B Journey Link

Caren's Plan B Journey

-Caren

<small>[ February 14, 2005, 02:17 PM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

It's about 2pm est. now, I have to go to Walmart, I'm completely out of food (it's a Walmart super store).....I'll be back in about an hour.

I NEED YOUR SUPPORT BIG TIME....I'm a nervous wreck.

-Caren

I'll be here to support you. GOOD WORK!

Don't have much time right now. I will check back later.

BTW, your WH is following the script.

Believe me, that letter he put in his pocket will be read by him over and over again.

Hi Caren.
Many of us will be following your Plan B with your H...I hope hope hope it works and he realizes that YOU are the one he wants to grow old with!

I was wondering if you had posted your Plan B letter here on the Message Board.

If so, I can't seem to find it.
If you haven't, would you mind sharing it with us?

Sincerely, Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi....I have not written to you before....but I see that you are going to Plan B....I am sending my support.....I was scared to go to Plan B.....but others told me that it was very peaceful...they were right...I was out of the chaos.....I planned my time very careful....I printed out a calendar and had things planned for just about every day...things I wanted to do and could not do with H....I had a blast....even went on vacation to Mexico...had never been before....flirted wildly with male flight attendant...did not let it go anywhere...but did loads for my self-esteem...thank you, Mr. Thing, where ever you are!

Plan B is scary and peaceful at the same time...be strong and use your time to continue to improve you.....you did the right thing by going to PB....you will need to preserve your love for recovery....really, really!

Take care of yourself...did you get something good or fun at Walmart....a treat, a toy, something fun that makes you smile.....

Stay strong..stay dark...ss

Caren,

Some plan B basics:

1. Deep cleansing breathes when that anxious feelings starts up. About 3 to start. Don't hyperventilate. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

2. Remember plan B is to protect yourself and your family. Not abuot fixing the WS.

3. Plan B is designed (when properly implemented) to bring relief to the BS and family. Especially to the BS. It allows the BS NOT to worry as much or at all about what the WS thinks or is up to.

4. Plan B takes time. Be patient.

5. Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart.

6. Plan B could irritate the WS. Remember how it affects the WS is not your concern.

7. Plan B could make the WS whine. Again, that's the WS' problem.

8. Reverse babble may be needed even if to yourself about how to counteract what the WS is saying or doing. Be aware of fog babble and manipulative tactics to get the BS to fill the WS' hateful needs.

example:

WS: (leaves msg on vm)Why are you not calling me?

BS: (in thought only) Because I am in plan B you dork. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

WS: Don't you care about me? I think I need you. We need to talk. I just realized I am the one messing up.

BS: (again in thought only mode) Some it sounds good but until I can SEE those words work, I gotta keep silent/dark.

WS: Hey, I left you 37 messages already. Where are you? Are you on-line with some guy? I think you have replaced me. You know I am still your H and the father of our children. I have the right to see them. You'd better call me back or else.

BS: (again in thought only mode) Boy he must be gettign desparate, he's resorting to threatening.

Better go over with the children again on how to handle their dad's mood swings. Maybe one of my midol pills might help. LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WS: I need to talk to you about... um.... the bills, yea that's right the bills. Do you need more money? I can send you more money, please call.

BS: (again in thought). $$$? Is that one of our allowed subjects? Is he just setting me up because he hasn't had a fix in 3 days? Hm.... I could use a few more $$ to pay some bills......

Wait, I have an intermediary setup for that. Ok, I will contact the intermediary regarding this issue.

*******************************************

Ok Caren, get the pix?

L.

Caren,

I've never written to you before, but I've followed your story closely. I'm so very proud of you! You CAN do this!!! We're all cheering for you. You've been very, very brave. I think your Plan B will work, I really do. It will be very hard, but don't give in. Stand firm, you're M is riding on it. Sounds like your WH is in shock. He probably thinks your bluffing. You have to show him you mean business. If you do this right the first time, you will never have to go through any of this heartache again. Hang in there. We're all pulling for you!!!

-SNS

Hang in there, Caren.
We're all here for ya!

caren

Dont break dont give in be strong.

Come here and post.

And make sure you are here all day 3 and 4.

I didnt make it the first time now i have to do it again. So you see you must really really really really really try not to give in because all it means is you have to start again.

Be strong come here and scream, cry, holler anything you want we will all be here for you.

Good luck Caren!

Caren, is there a copy of your Plan B letter on this site?

The next week will be very tough, hang in there, we're all praying for you.

Thanks

<small>[ February 13, 2005, 01:54 PM: Message edited by: TA ]</small>

Caren,

You have been there for me and many of us here. We are all pulling for you. Plan B takes courage and you are showing courage!

Thinking and praying for you.

Keith

Good luck Caren. It's hard but I know you can do it....you're a strong woman!!!!

Good Luck Sweetie!!!

Caren,
I've been checking today to see how you're doing.
You are strong and I know you will stick it out with a great plan B. I have been thinking about you.

Good luck Caren!

I'm pulling for you!

K

Thank you all for your support.....I am putting a copy of my Plan B Letter on my "Caren's Plan B Journey" Thread.

-Caren

Caren, I'm here for you and you are imy prayers...Stay strong...

David

Caren,

I'm in the 9th month of a pretty good Plan B and it only gets easier. When I am weak( and that weakness comes out of the blue, triggers I guess)I am reminded of a small quote from one of the MB posters.

I am paraphrasing but if YOU can not stay in NC with your WS how can YOU expect your WS to remain in NC with their OP.

Simple statement, powerful message.

Best of luck, prayers are with you.

Caren's Plan B Journey - Has My Plan B Letter There

-Caren