ForeverHers,

I want you to take a look at my post on this thread please (maybe I should have started a new topic, but I thought my post to that thread is relevant).

Edited to add:
Here is the post I send on the above link (just thought it would be easier to copy and paste my post into this thread as well.) </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FH,

There is something I want to ask you regarding this topic. Something that really made me think these last couple of days…

I have a dear friend who are in a very dissatisfying and abusing M for years now. (She is married for 30 years and in her late forties). She is a Christian who takes her obedience to God and the Script very, very seriously, but her H is a non-believer who refuses to read the Bible, engage in religious talk or go to church at all. A lot of issues have built up throughout the years between them and there are many, many problems and dissatisfaction in their M. Her H also has problems with alcohol during weekends and I know in their earlier year of their M, he has physically and emotionally abused her. He still abuses her verbally, but the physical abuse stopped years ago. Her H also refused (and still refuses) to receive any Marriage Counseling at all… My friend never divorced her H in spite of all these things because she wanted (and still wants) to stay obedient to God and her promise in front of the altar. She knows God hate divorce and she know if she want to follow God’s rules about divorce, she can’t divorce her H until 1.) he approach her first for a divorce OR 2.) he commits adultery and give her a legal right (according to God) to divorce her him. She is a “white and black” person who doen’t believe in ‘grey’ areas and ‘exceptions’ (like abuse) for divorce at all. It’s almost if she thinks if she ever ask her H for a divorce because of her circumstances, she will commit an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God… It's almost if she thinks God have a reason & purpose for these circumstance she finding herself in. She thinks God want to teach her something by this. The problem is, lately she has expressed the desire verbally that she wish her H will ask her for a divorce or that she wish he can meet someone else and leave her… She said if her H ever ask her for a divorce she will divorce him immediately except if he change drastically and become a new born Christian.

FH, as you know, I’m also a Chritian who believes in God’s commandments very strongly, but I think things are not always just ‘black’ and ‘white’. IMO there are many ‘grey’ areas in life which allow ‘exceptions’ on the ‘rules’ and I believe my friend’s M and circumstances is such a case - an 'exeption'... IMO it would be much better for my friend on this stage to divorce her H and go on with her life, than to stay in these circumstances that influences her relationship with God negatively. And on this stage, her relationship with God is influenced negatively by this because 1) she wish her H to commit sin (adultery) in order to give her a legal reason to divorce him. IMO she commits adultery in her own heart by wishing these things and 2) in her own heart she has already divorced him because of her verbal expression and wish that he will ask her for a divorce. IMO they are emotionally divorced a long time ago and I don’t view theirs as a marriage in the full sense of the word. What is the purpose to go on with this type of M if her H doens't want to surrender himself to God and doesn't want to seek help for their M problems? I believe my Saviour is a God of love and grace and that He will have understanding for my friend's circumstances should she ever decide to divorce her H. But it seems she doesn't view it this way. She thinks God will view it as deliberate sin and punish her for it...

FH, what do you think? What is your opinion on this?

Suzet </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I will appreciate your opinion and input. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks!
Suzet

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 05:14 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

Suzet, just wanted to let you know that I saw your post. Obviously it will require something other than a flippant, short, post to respond to your heartfelt question. So let me ask for a little patience on your part and I'll try to find the time to respond that your post deserves.

Nobody ever said that obedience to God was always going to be easy, especially when we begin by ignoring God's command to NOT be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

God bless.

Thanks FH, I will wait for your response. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I just want to add that when my friend married her H, she didn’t know him well and she didn’t know he was a non-believer. She was very young when she married him – only 18 years old. She grew up in a religious family and automatically assumed that her H would go to church with her, read the Bible etc. While they dated, they only saw each other once a month or so and he only showed his good side to her during this time. After they got married, his ‘true colors’ started to show and of course this was a huge disappointment to her - but she already made her decision... Because of her H’s unwillingness to go to church etc. she also stopped going to church for many years. She started drinking with him etc. However, a few years back she surrendered herself to God again and today she is a committed Christian and love God with all her heart. She told me there was many times during her M that she planned on leaving her H (during the stage she turned away from God), but she said every time before she would finally go through with the divorce process, she would feel this overwhelming empathy and love for her H and then she decided to stay married to him. She said it was if God prevented her every time from divorcing her H. I also have to add there is a power-struggle going on between them: My friend is a very ‘bossy’ person with a very strong and dominant personality. Although she is a Christian, I don’t think she is always the most pleasant and easiest person to live with and I have sympathy for her H in that regard. Me and my H know her H and on the surface he seems like a nice person, but of course he will only show his pleasant side to us. However, I think her H have potential and also some good in him and we can just hope and pray that one day he will accept Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. From what my friend told me, her H have many unresolved personal issues from his childhood (physical abuse) and rejected God because of the things that happened in his childhood. It's very sad...

I just thought the additional info would give you more insight and background. Thanks again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Blessings,
Suzet

<small>[ February 15, 2005, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

^^^Bump^^^

ForeverHers, I know you’ve asked me to be patient and I completely understand you have many other things and posters to attend to, but in the meantime and until you find the time to respond, I also want to get some feedback and opinions from other Christian members on this issue. Hope you understand and won’t mind! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Suzet

Suzet,

My opinion is that your friend is right to stay in her M....sad as it is that she M someone who didn't share her faith to begin with...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Scripture tells us there is BLACK and WHITE.....if we look at the word of God he tells us that after we M we are to stay Married....

There is no easy answer for your friend from a biblical standpoint I view God's word to mean that he NEVER promised us a rose garden <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .....we will endure "trials".....even those that we had a choice to bring upon ourselves like Marrying a non-believer to begin with...once we make those vows before God they are sealed!

There is no reason for divorce....even in scripture God says he hates divorce and although he allows it in the case of A's.....he doesn't like it that way either!!

If your friend is a good christian and a strong believer she will stand firm in what she is saying to you.....her "happiness" is not found in man anyways, it is found in God!!! She can go on and enjoy her life as the bride of Jesus until or IF her H turns around his beliefs.


Blessings and prayers!
Atruheart

Suzet,

Also forgot to say that tonight at church the surmon was about forgiveness.....and God's requirements of us as believers....

We are to forgive EVERYONE
for EVERYTHING
EVERY TIME........

Basiclly your friend is a good example of this!!!

Blessings,
Atruheart

Thanks atrueheart, I appreciate you response. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The thing about my friend’s situation that made me think and the questions I asked myself these days is the following:

What if a spouse is in a very abusive marriage (especially physical abuse) and the abuser is not willing to change or seek help?

Does God really want the person to stay in a abusive relationship and just endures it?

And what if there are small children involved and they are also abused (sexual, physical, emotional etc)?

Does God really expect the other party then to stay in such a marriage, stay in the abusive environment [together with the children who are also abused and just endure such treatment?

If a woman is beaten up every now and then and end up in hospital (and her H is not willing to receive help), are God really expecting from her to return home to her H and endure this treatment until she ends up in hospital again?

I don’t know, but I can’t see how my God and Savior of love and grace can ever approve something like this…

Also, do you really think forgiveness means a person must endure continuous and ongoing abuse by a unremorseful and unrepentant spouse?

Suzet

Some of this is opinion and some is from recent study...

God does direct the believing spouse not to leave the non-believer, to stand by in prayerfulness and help to create the changes.... BUT God also wants his children to live in peace.

In the case of child abuse, there is this... in no way should a parent fail to protect their child... you should remove yourself and the child from the abusive spouse and pray for them that they are able to recover so that you may reconcile your M...

People can get hung up on legalistic definitions of divorce.

For example, if an H and W live in separate rooms in their house,don't communicate, don't share anything, and basically, don't have anything to do with each other, are they not essentially divorced? I believe that God looks past "man's" definition, which is the legal contract, and looks to the heart. So in this case, they're divorced in spirit, if not in court. Since the sin has already been committed, what's left to worry about?

This is not the stated purpose of marriage. But because we live in a fallen world, it may be the way it is in some circumstances, due to sin, poor choices, etc.

So living the above mentioned life, (not necessarily by choice), but then getting hung up on somehow that having violated all the other foundational principals of a Biblical marriage, that the last bit of getting a divorce for physical or legal protection is somehow a dealbreaker, to me, makes very little sense.

God's desires for us is in the relationship. When the relationship dies, we've already failed in our obligation, and our commitment. Legal divorce means nothing.

There is a school of thought that says that God values the participants in a marriage over the institution of marriage. I personally have not fully processed this and decided if I agree or not.

With all the above said, I believe only the most extreme cases are acceptable for divorce. For one thing, given mans propensity to push the boundaries, once the door is open, it just gets pushed wider. Hence, it is better to say "no divorce is acceptable", to avoid having to judge "which divorce is acceptable".

Your friend still has several coping mechanisms available. Given that the situation is non-optimal, perhaps the only real spiritually valid choice is to pursue stopping the verbal abuse, and then find her strength in bonds outside the marriage (not affairs, but perhaps service, mission work, career, any one of a number of things).

I did not read the other thread, but your friend has options when it comes to the verbal and emotional abuse as well, that can mitigate the pain and suffering, and perhaps initiate change. It's certainly a long shot. But I would rather exit my marriage knowing I tried *every single thing*, than leaving a stone unturned.

I believe that God honors that kind of commitment.
While it sounds trite to say it, the time here on Earth is transient and temporary, We must look always to the future.

Thanks Tx-RN and Jaye Mathisen for the time you took to read and respond. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jaye Mathisen, your post and opinion make much sense to me... A while ago I have read a book that tries to give guidance and answers to difficult and complex issues like this from a biblical point of view (the book also provide Scriptures on all the discussed topics). The book didn’t give solutions or specific answers to these complex issues, but in stead encouraged the Christian reader to think further while still seeking God’s will. The author recognized that there are certain “grey” areas in life and that it is NOT always so easy to find answers for difficult and exceptional circumstances. On the end it is up to the person inside the situation to seek God’s guidance and finding the answers/solutions for his/her specific situation within themselves through prayer etc. On this topic of divorce, the book said basically the same than you – that the believer can probably only use divorce as the very last option after every single thing have been tried in circumstances like this to safe the M.

Any more opinions please?

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 06:03 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

Suzet, of course I don't mind you seeking other opinions. The Scripture is open to all and I am not the "only Christian" 'on the block'. I also understand the human propensity to think of even "patience" in terms of a short timeframe. We generally want answers NOW to our questions and get impatient with what we perceive as a "delay" in getting a response.

The ONLY caution that I am going to give you is to be certain to take any opinions that might "tickle your fancy" and research them against Scripture. If the opinion is merely "human opinion," then look to see if it is consistant with Scripture or if it is actually in opposition of clearly stated biblical positions.

What you will "hear" many times is a "human reason" sort of thing, or even a "Pharasee-like" twisting in order to allow sinful behavior. This is exactly how the Pharisees supported the "right" of a man to divorce his wife for "any and all reasons," by claiming that because "Moses said they could" that it was "God's will." Jesus set them straight about this issue of the "law" versus "God's perfect law."

Anytime you are approaching difficult subjects be very careful to have the Scripture as your primary, if not sole, guide in how to deal with the question.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The thing about my friend’s situation that made me think and the questions I asked myself these days is the following:

What if a spouse is in a very abusive marriage (especially physical abuse) and the abuser is not willing to change or seek help?

Does God really want the person to stay in a abusive relationship and just endures it?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, Suzet, what I am going to say now applies to each of the scenarios that you raised. God is quite specific about what can form a "justified" basis for divorce. For two Christians it is "marital unfaithfulness(adultery)" and for an unevenly yoked marriage it is the unbelieving spouse's choice to leave the marriage ("let them go"). In both cases the direction of God is to protect the faithful believing spouse. Actions such as revenge affairs, unforgiveness, divorce for "any and all reasons," "no fault divorce(the "old way of doing things per the Pharisee's")," are based in the offender's desire to put themselves ahead of obedience to their LORD.

Now, as to the specific scenario you painted, let me say that the "proper" response to such a situation would be (in American culture) to get the authorities involved. Assault is a crime and should be prosecuted as the same. At the very least, a separation is in order for the protection of the abused spouse. Seperation is NOT the same thing as divorce, but in both cases (legal system and seperation) it "stakes out" the biblical ground of Equality (not "master/slave") relationship of marriage.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And what if there are small children involved and they are also abused (sexual, physical, emotional etc)?

Does God really expect the other party then to stay in such a marriage, stay in the abusive environment [together with the children who are also abused and just endure such treatment?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't think that I need to reiterate what Jesus has said about children, right? Suffice it to say that the abuser is headed for an eternity of "hard time."

From the practical standpoint of the "here and now" let me simply say that under NO circumstances does someone allow or tolerate sexual abuse of children. The same thing goes for physical and/or emotional abuse. The proper response would again be to get the legal authorities involved and/or to move out an separate to protect the children.

The "caution" I give here is that it better really BE abuse and not merely "corporal punishment." There IS a lot of truth in "spare the rod and spoil the child." Children DO need boundaries and they do need to learn that there can be unpleasant consequences of NOT obeying parents when the parent is making those commands based in love, care, and instruction, to shape their "free will" choice-making apparatus for when they are adults.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If a woman is beaten up every now and then and end up in hospital (and her H is not willing to receive help), are God really expecting from her to return home to her H and endure this treatment until she ends up in hospital again?

I don’t know, but I can’t see how my God and Savior of love and grace can ever approve something like this…</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Okay, first let me give you my personal opinion that it is is NEVER right for a man to hit a woman without a "valid" reason such as defending himself from her attack(and it better be a severe attack, not just a "slap") or a defense of his life.

Again, a husband acting in this manner is NOT being a biblical husband and the wife would have every right to(and most likely should) separate from the husband and demand he seek treatment.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Also, do you really think forgiveness means a person must endure continuous and ongoing abuse by a unremorseful and unrepentant spouse?

Suzet </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Of course I don't think that, Suzet.

Understand, Suzet, that much of these problems arise from initially being disobedient to God in CHOOSING a mate. We most often marry according to our "feelings," not according to God's commands. "I want it, therefore it's good and 'God meant for us to be together'."

Not unlike the reasoning that WS's use to "justify" willful disobedience to God, is it?

Now, let me pick up on something that you said in your description of your friend's marriage:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It’s almost if she thinks if she ever ask her H for a divorce because of her circumstances, she will commit an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God… </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Suzet, God does "hate" divorce. But understand that there are a couple of things "in play" here.

First, there is only one "unforgiveable sin," and it is NOT divorce or adultery. That sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Should your friend want a divorce, the divorce itself is NOT the sin. REMARRIAGE after a divorce that was for something other than adultery would constitute a "sin." But, even in that case, the "assumption" would be that the individual was sincerely dedicating their lives to God and to obedience to God's commands from that point on, for the rest of their lives. I am NOT talking about "presuming" upon God here. I am talking about "forgiveness of sin" for those who "love God and keep His commandments."

Suzet, there is "fallout" from all sinful human behavior. Things that we have to "live with" for the rest of our lives. We can best see this in the phrase "forgiven but not forgotten." We CHOOSE to forgive and we CHOOSE to not hold someone's past sinful behavior against them.

Please understand that God is also a "God of Peace" for believers. Sometimes it's manifested in His comfort for believes who are undergoing trials and tribulations and sometimes it's manifested in their being "alone" with God and waiting on the spouse to either accept God or to leave the marriage.

It is obvious that God is protecting your friend in her strong desire to be obedient to God. "Thou shalt not..." is a STRONG command of God. Satan CAN twist any command of God and attempt to pervert it's application in our lives. Usually Satan accomplishes this by appealing to our limited "human reason," i.e., "surely God didn't REALLY mean that you would die if you eat the tasty and pleasing fruit from THAT tree." You can just hear the smooth hissing speech....

Forgiveness is another of those issues. We ARE commanded to forgive. But Satan again twists the clear command of God into forgiveness without repentance. We are "supposed to" forgive because forgiveness is "for the forgiver." Poppycock. Forgiveness is for the offender. We are NOT talking about "feel good" forgiveness here. We are talking about forgiveness AS GOD HAS FORGIVEN OUR OWN SINS. And that forgiveness does not happen without conviction, confession, repentance, and commitment to obeying the one true LORD of our lives. Forgiveness of "seventy times seven times" is for Believers in Christ forgiving other believers in Christ who have 'fallen short' and committed a sin, or sins, against God and against ourselves.

"Cheap forgiveness" does not acknowledge that repentance is a requirement and that consequences of sin are NOT always erased simply because the sinner himself/herself is forgiven the sinful act.

A "case in point" would be that if my wife's OM ever accepted Christ and then sought my forgiveness (which I think is highly unlikely), then I would be required by God to forgive the sin that he committed. But I would NOT be required to have any further relationship with him and I would not. No Contact, forever, while alive on this earth, would be the consequence that continued.

Jaye Mathisen wrote the following in a post to you:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So living the above mentioned life, (not necessarily by choice), but then getting hung up on somehow that having violated all the other foundational principals of a Biblical marriage, that the last bit of getting a divorce for physical or legal protection is somehow a dealbreaker, to me, makes very little sense.

God's desires for us is in the relationship. When the relationship dies, we've already failed in our obligation, and our commitment. Legal divorce means nothing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Suzet, God's desire for IS "in the relationship," but it is OUR relationship with HIM. God provides for marriage because of a need that we have to be "whole," to have a "helpmeet" to share life's journey with, but not as the primary "relationship." It is because the primary relationship is with God that we are admonished to NOT be married to an unbeliever because it WILL interfere in a Godly relationship on all levels, and potentially lead to "pleasing our spouse" over "pleasing God." Remember, and never forget, that God GAVE us our emotions and He knows how powerful they are. He KNOWS that the "most powerful" emotion is LOVE and that is why we are FIRST directed to Love the Lord our God with all of our heart, mind and soul. LOVE the Lord thy God, and all these things will be added unto you.... Get the objective order of "love" out of whack....and trouble IS coming.

"Legal divorce means nothing," as Jaye stated, is a twisting of clear Scripture. Jesus made it quite plain when HE stated...."EXCEPT for..." That statement excluded all conditions "except for" the one stated condition by the LORD and Creator of our lives. Whether we "like it or not" is not the issue. Jesus HAS spoken and HE, not us, IS LORD. Divorce and subsequent remarriage WILL come under God's judgment for "sin" and "committing adultery" as per God's RULES, not our rules. Remember, Suzet, God is always interested in our eternal condition, not in our finite time here on earth. OBEDIENCE to God is what would be expected from someone who has truly accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. "Feelings" are discarded when they push for something in opposition to God's commands and clear teaching.

God bless. And thanks for being patient with me.

ForeverHers,

A much appreciated response… Thank you... And thanks for your time on this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

All blessings to you,
Suzet

Suzet, you're quite welcome. I hope that it helps in some small way with your questions and with your friend's "dilemna."

God bless.

Yes FH, it does… Something you’ve made especially clear to me in your post was that there is a difference between DIVORCE and SEPARATION and that sometimes separation (not divorce) IS a necessary action to take for certain exceptional circumstances (e.g. where the safety of the children and/or spouse is in danger and until the other partner became willing to receive help etc.). I also very much agree with you on your viewpoint about forgiveness – it makes perfect sense.

If I have more to ask or want you to elaborate on something on this thread, I will certainly let you know. Or if you want to add something, please feel free do do so. I'm always 'eager' to learn more from the 'wiser' people. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks again,
Suzet

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A while ago I have read a book that tries to give guidance and answers to difficult and complex issues like this from a biblical point of view </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Suzet - what's the name of the book - sounds very interesting.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ForeverHers:
<strong>
Jaye Mathisen wrote the following in a post to you:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So living the above mentioned life, (not necessarily by choice), but then getting hung up on somehow that having violated all the other foundational principals of a Biblical marriage, that the last bit of getting a divorce for physical or legal protection is somehow a dealbreaker, to me, makes very little sense.

God's desires for us is in the relationship. When the relationship dies, we've already failed in our obligation, and our commitment. Legal divorce means nothing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Suzet, God's desire for IS "in the relationship," but it is OUR relationship with HIM.

</strong>

Yes, that is what I meant, the relationship with God on a personal level is paramount. And not to idolize the "marriage relationship", to where it supsercedies the relationship wiht God.

<strong>
"Legal divorce means nothing," as Jaye stated, is a twisting of clear Scripture. </strong>

I did not write this clearly enough. Or we just disagree. Or it was taken our of the context.

The relationship is already in a state of divorce. WHat God has joined together, they have put asunder. The two are no longer one flesh.

Worrying now about a piece of paper from man that just confirms what's already happened relationally is Pharisaical thinking of the worst sort, that has kept women in bondage in abusive relationships .

SO do not ascribe more to the remark thanthe above context. In fact, I think I made it pretty clear that I wasn't suggesting divorce in this case, and I also made it very clear that there were a tendency to promote divorce as an acceptable answer, when clearly, in most cases it is not.

I do not disagree with your analysis of the acceptable reasons, nor any of your other statements, I think it is very wise counsel.

But I will thank you to stop putting words in my mouth, or implying that I said things I did not.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

From a biblical POV-has THIS been mentioned as an option?.......

If you believe that DIVORCE is never an option except for adultery but there is severe physical abuse, or even NOT severe but physical abuse there is another option;

CALL THE POLICE & press charges. THE marraige remains intact, the offender serves time, thus creating some physical separation & safety.

There is NO reason why that can be done. I do beleive that marraige is forever & lean more & more towards NO D under any circumstances but say that from never having been in any abusive circumstances myself.

But many people over-look such a simple step. THe police take abuse charges seriously & if a spouse will as well, then there is a very healthy boundary that will not be crossed.

YOu can still keep your religious faith & beliefs intact while not having to continue to subject yourself to abuse or your kids as well.

I strongly believe that having to do some 'time' might teach the offender a lesson or 2.

That is what I have read from a biblical standpoint.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by chackler:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A while ago I have read a book that tries to give guidance and answers to difficult and complex issues like this from a biblical point of view </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Suzet - what's the name of the book - sounds very interesting. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Chackler, yes the book was very interesting! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The name of the book is “Antwoorde op al jou Bybelse vrae”. It’s written in Afrikaans (my first language). In English the name of the book means ”Answers on all your Biblical questions”. I don’t have the book with me now so I don’t remember the author’s name. I have seen similar books in the English language as well, so maybe if you look around in bookshops (in your specific country) you will find similar books on this specific topic. I’ve just ordered another book in my language about the same topic from another author (a pastor who also have a doctors degree in theology). I find these types of books very interesting and informative. It help me to develop a “bigger view” and to get better insight into everything, but on the same time to decide for myself if I agree with a certain opinions or not.

<small>[ February 22, 2005, 01:04 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>

I read a really interesting book on this topic when I was searching for the same answers. However, FH's post really summarized well what this book talks about. The book was "What the Bible Really Says about Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage". It is written by Dr. Ed Dobson.

After I read the book, I believed more than ever that divorce was not the answer.

Hope this helps.

Kris

KrisM, thanks for the info! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It sounds like a very good book - in line with Scripture and a great reference & helpful guide for people in difficult & troubled marriages.

Blessings,
Suzet