Last night at about 9.00 p.m. my WH's cell phone beeped with a message. He went through to the lounge to get the phone and brought is straight to the bedroom where we had been lying on the bed watching TV. The message said:

Hi p I was wondering how you were doing.

My WH's name is Peter. He was very open in showing me the message and said he had no idea who it was from nor did he reconise the number. He tried to dial the number back to see who it was but got no response. I find this kind of message an enormous trigger.

This morning when he was in the bathroom I deleted the message of his phone and today I have spent the entire day in a state of anxiety. I know that he won't ask me if I deleted the message off the phone because he does anything to avoid that kind of conversation. He is terrified of opening a can of worms.

But what I hate is my reaction to that kind of message. Before I would have just laughed it off as being someone doing something silly but since the A anything like that gets me so worked up. Am I overreacting???

Just when I start feeling better in recovery something seems to happen to set me back and I am getting sick and tired of it. I want my life back, I want to stop obsessing about his A, I want to be happy again but it seems there is always something happening to trigger me off.

Enid-

Was it a cell number?? Because those things oughta go straight to voicemail if the caller doesn't answer.....you should have text messaged back.

Tell me you kept the phone number!!!!!!

-Caren

<small>[ February 16, 2005, 08:16 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Enid...

By can I relate to this. The same thing happened to me yesterday. My FWW phone was beeping cause she missed a call. So I brought her phone to her and the number had the same area code as the OM, as he lives out state.

It brought back every single terrible memory that had slowly been going away over the last 12 months. Talk about a setback. She called the number and it was from our insurance co. But I kept thinking all day that this is a horrrible way to live, and was wondering does it get better? I hope so cause I don't know how much longer I can do this.

I know I'm rambling but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Caren, I didn't get a chance to take the number down so I did the next best thing. . .deleted it. I had to hurry because he was in the bathroom when I did it. I get print-outs of his cell phone accounts and I have never seen the number before.

The horrible thing is that it could have been completely innocent but after the A NOTHING SEEMS INNOCENT ANYMORE.

Yes, I also sometimes wonder if I have to live my life like this for the rest of my days. The thought of that is so depressing. When does trust ever come back. I truly don't think you can ever entirely trust them again!!!