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Joined: Nov 2004
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LISA:

Wow, not communicating, that's a real tough one. I believe that this area of M determines the quality of M. What steps have you taken to try to get ur H to communicate more effectively with you? Does ur H know how painful this is to you? Do u think this is one of the reasons why u had the A's?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can tell you to go to AD Hit The Nail On The Head for more information </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not sure what you are talking about, explain a little further please.

<small>[ March 11, 2005, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: white_dove777 ]</small>

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WD777
I am posting in several different topics, which probably is not a good thing. I had a posting to AD Hit The Nail On The Head topic. You can read it for more information. I am also posted on Silent Partner and Lisa V you are new what is your story from RHM. We are in MC and IC for me. My husband has never been seen alone by a counselor. I am his second wife. He came from a emotionally disfunctional family. Mother raised 4 kids by herself and was emotionally detattched. He has been this way for as long as I have been with him. I have tried to provide a safe environment, but also suffered from an emotionally closed off family. I love to communicate with anyone. I crave for this type of relationship and yes I feel the same way about the situation. It is the heart of my relationship with him. We have seen counselor after counselor and nothing really changes. Counselor this time said this is the way he is and not to expect much more. " This is as good as it gets" is what she said to me. He is doing all he can at this time. Which I am not sure I buy. I know this is affecting me and leads to me looking else where for communication and love. The emotional support is not there for me either. Being military doesn't help either. I am independent and have learned to be submissive and let him lead. He leads but doesn't start conversations about our marriage or A's. I went out of town and he didn't even ask about the possibility of an A. He ignores it like it will go away. I have not left him nor do I plan too. We have three children who need us. I sure feel emotionally empty from time to time too. I could go on and on but will stop now. This is an ugly mess and more details than I can do in one sitting. Just to suffice it to say my life is a mess.

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Lisa if posting helps you to see through your situation more clearly then by all means post away, which is a good thing; as long as you can find them all <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

It sounds like this is very painful for you. It's almost as if the A's occured out of a desparate attempt to draw some kind of responce, out of your H...in addition to just plain ole seeking for ur EN to be filled particularly in the area of communication. I could be wrong, feel free to correct me.

How old are ur children? and how long have you been M?

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Blackrio actually posted this first...thought it should go here as well.

Click here to view actually news story: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/11/eveningnews/main679735.shtml

The printable version from CBSNews.com

Sex Scandal At Guantanamo
March 11, 2005


As if the situation at Guantanamo isn't messy enough, there is now a sex scandal involving senior military officers who were running the prison, reports CBS National Security Correspondent David Martin.

The colonel in charge of prison operations, a Lt. colonel who commanded the military police guarding the prisoners, and another lieutenant colonel who commanded the soldiers responsible for base security have all been relieved of duty. They are accused of committing adultery with a female Navy Lt. and a number of female civilian contractors.

An Army general who was the deputy commander of the task force which runs Guantanamo is also under investigation for adultery, which is a violation of military law, Martin reports. That case has been turned over to the Army's inspector general at the Pentagon since it involves such a high ranking officer.

The investigation began after a soldier -- who himself had been disciplined for adultery -- blew the whistle on the officers. Once the investigation began, it turned up e-mails in which the officers were exchanging information about the women they were having sex with.

Although the conduct involves private behavior off duty, Martin notes, it involves four of the most senior officers at the camp. And it raises questions about the quality and discipline of the officers running the prison there.

Some 550 prisoners are being held at Guantanamo Bay, many for more than three years without charge or access to attorneys. The detentions have prompted concerns about the legality of holding terror suspects there without bringing charges. There have also been allegations of abuse at the camp.

In February, U.S. military appointed a three-star general to lead an investigation into abuse allegations at Guantanamo Bay.

Air Force Lt. Gen. Randall M. Schmidt took over command of the camp, according to the U.S. Southern Command in Miami, which oversees the camp in eastern Cuba.

Schmidt will question Maj. Gen. Geoffrey D. Miller, a two-star general who commanded the camp during many of the incidents detailed in recently released FBI memos that complain of "aggressive" interrogation techniques. Miller was in Guantanamo from October 2002 to March 2004 and was sent there to get more information from terror suspects.

The military maintains that most incidents detailed in the FBI memos occurred in 2002 when the prison was just opening, and that some of the interrogation techniques labeled as "aggressive" are no longer in use.

Documents published in December show FBI agents warned the government about abuse and mistreatment shortly after the first prisoners arrived in early 2002, more than a year before a scandal at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison. One letter, written by a senior Justice Department official suggested the Pentagon failed to act on the FBI complaints.

The American Civil Liberties Union released similar e-mails obtained under the Freedom of Information Act in which FBI agents accused interrogators of inserting lit cigarettes in prisoners' ears and shackling them for hours, forcing them to soil themselves.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The investigation began after a soldier -- who himself had been disciplined for adultery -- blew the whistle on the officers </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

What a twist of justice...these officers were probably the same ones that disciplined him and were involved in A's themselves!!! And he said if I go down then I'm taking all of you with me!

What are us military spouses to do????

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<small>[ March 14, 2005, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Lisa V. ]</small>

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WD777
Thanks for the input on my situation. Yes, the first time was out of desperation and did want to wake up the dead so to speak. I have been unhappy in my marriage for a good 11 years now. We have been married for 15 years. We have three children. DD 15, DS 12, DD 9. We got married in 1989. First child born 1990, 2nd 1992, and 3rd 1995. Moved in 1992, 93, 94, 95.

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Question:

Does anyone know within the Navy, if there is a protocol for discipling sailors who have A's with civilians?

What if a sailor is stationed on an aircraft carrier on deployment, where there are Air Force and Marines in addition to Navy personnel, and he/she has a sexual relationship while deployed w/ a member of another military branch are they subj to discipline?

What are the rules concerning A's and sexual relationships with in the Navy? Where can I find this information?

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More later, but this will start you: Article 134

Dobie

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white dove,

OK, back here. I've often seen cases of adultery handled more harshly in that sort of situation, because a lot of commanders don't like their ships being used in such a manner. Plus they have more potential for causing problems within the ranks. But it depends so much on the command's attitude.

Dobie

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