Yes, I am an idiot, go ahead with the 2x4s, I don't care anymore. Let the kids spend the night at her 'house' last night. They had fun, vidoe games, all the cutesy stuff. But now she's online right now asking if they can spend Sunday night 'cause of no school monday. SHe needs me to watch them tomorrow night because she's going to the "Formal" with some guy - she's telling me all about this slinky new black dress she bought.

I'm not saying anything, but I am hurting big time.

Davidiot

Saturday is her day? You have plans right? Yes you do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

huh? She is asking you to watch the kids while she goes out on a date?? I must have smoked some bad crack today because that is what it looked like you wrote!

Hopefully OM was not there also. That would not be a good environment for the kids.

Take your wonderful kids on Saturday and appreciate every minute.

One thing you should never do is make your kids feel as if they need to choose between you and their mother. Regardless of her going wayward, she is still their mother...the only one they have.

Melody - I wrote about this some time ago - you were on hiatus. It's some kind of Formal, she never even mentioned it to me till I found some really sexy black underwear that I asked her about. She said 'OH, it's for the Formal" and then hid it. I tried to find out why she wouldn't asak her HUSBAND to a Formal, she said she already had other plans, but it didn't involve the OM (HAH).

Found out later he is going to be there 'with someone else.'

As for plans for Sat night - YES. I'm taking my kids to a movie.

No, you weren't smoking anything. Can you see why I am so dumbfounded? Why I'm working on a Plan B letter? I want OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE.

Dammit, I'm losing it AGAIN. Gotta go

David

<small>[ February 18, 2005, 07:57 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ba109:
<strong> Hopefully OM was not there also. That would not be a good environment for the kids.

Take your wonderful kids on Saturday and appreciate every minute.

One thing you should never do is make your kids feel as if they need to choose between you and their mother. Regardless of her going wayward, she is still their mother...the only one they have. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OM was not there. He's a little frightened of DS17, who has promised to beat him to a pulp if he sees him (DS17 is a LOT bigger than OM).....DS17 TM'd me all night to keep me informed. He hates this as much as I do. Wish he didn't have to be involved.

David, I feel for you. Sometimes I think all the Plan A stuff I do goes into a deep, dark hole and will never surface. Going to an event without me is something my WH would do.

What a crappy night.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">she's telling me all about this slinky new black dress she bought.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Could someone please try to explain this to me (and David, of course!)??

WHAT is her motive here? WHY is she doing that?
She's TRYING to hurt David... right? WHAT is the psychological component in play here?!

Stay tough, David... I feel for you, bud!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> As for plans for Sat night - YES. I'm taking my kids to a movie.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good for you!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by grapegirl:
<strong> David, I feel for you. Sometimes I think all the Plan A stuff I do goes into a deep, dark hole and will never surface. Going to an event without me is something my WH would do.

What a crappy night. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Wow can I empathize. Supposedly they notice this stuff somewhere back in their real minds, but all I seem to be getting is "what else can I do to him???"

It also doesn't ehlp to be sitting here wrapped in blankets freezing with a 103 temperature and the flu

<small>[ February 18, 2005, 08:08 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

Do you really think she's out to get you? Or does she just like pushing your buttons and seeing you react?

All I get from WH is ME,ME,ME! If it doesn't suit him, he's not going to do it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tqt:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">she's telling me all about this slinky new black dress she bought.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Could someone please try to explain this to me (and David, of course!)??

WHAT is her motive here? WHY is she doing that?
She's TRYING to hurt David... right? WHAT is the psychological component in play here?!

Stay tough, David... I feel for you, bud! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God, if someone could help me....I can't IMAGINE what I could have EVER done to bring out such hate!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by grapegirl:
<strong> Do you really think she's out to get you? Or does she just like pushing your buttons and seeing you react?

All I get from WH is ME,ME,ME! If it doesn't suit him, he's not going to do it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have no idea. I think I'm supposed to think of her as finally 'happy' after all the years of misery I put her thru.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God, if someone could help me....I can't IMAGINE what I could have EVER done to bring out such hate!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Probably nothing. If she can convince herself that she hates you, it is that much easier on her conscience to be with OM.

Put your umbrella up. Her ploys will never rain on you if you don't let them.

If you are indifferent to her comments, you will be making it that much harder for her plus you will not be LBing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ba109:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God, if someone could help me....I can't IMAGINE what I could have EVER done to bring out such hate!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Probably nothing. If she can convince herself that she hates you, it is that much easier on her conscience to be with OM.

Put your umbrella up. Her ploys will never rain on you if you don't let them.

If you are indifferent to her comments, you will be making it that much harder for her plus you will not be LBing. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I've turned into pretty much a pro at not LBing. Maybe the only thing I'm doing right.....

David

Empathy time here. I had an A 20 years ago, so my WH says what he's doing is all my fault. He's always putting the blame on me. I think anything we did, no matter how long ago, gives them justification.

I think Plan B would be very good for you mentally. See my post about Plan A.5. I can't take it anymore. I just need to go dark.

Perhaps your WW tells you all about her slinky dress because she's trying to pidgeon hole you as a friend. She's accustomed to talking to you but can't see past friend. She doesn't see you as her H and doesn't see she hurts you. Or maybe she is vindictive. I think my WH wants to be my friend. I want a spouse, not a friend.

Have you got the cough and aches to go with that flu? It sure is a nasty one this year. It took me 3 weeks to really get better and I still cough occasionally. Fix yourself a hot toddy, lemon juice, honey and brandy and go to bed!

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Have you got the cough and aches to go with that flu? It sure is a nasty one this year. It took me 3 weeks to really get better and I still cough occasionally. Fix yourself a hot toddy, lemon juice, honey and brandy and go to bed! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'd love to take care of myself, but can't get anyone to cover me at work for a few hours - so I'm off to work till cover comes in....yuk - and yes, ALL the symptoms....

David

Oh hells bells David, she's just baiting you.....you have to stop listening to what she's saying (Remember...I'm very good at plan A....further down the alphabet I suck). Don't take it as such a hit....let's see reverse babble for slinky black dress comment.

WW: I bought this really slinky black dress for the formal, it's lowcut in the back it looks really good on me.

David: OMG I know, My favorite color is blue.

BUT you can think: "Wow, you found a dress that matches your soul??!?! LMAO

Okay I don't reverse babble well, everything rolled off me like rain off a duck.

WH bought a shirt a few weeks ago that said "Chicks really love my woody" (Woody being an old car....like his hotrod--it's not a woody, but okay) I said "Oh, that's funny!! Where'd you find that?" You're not getting my goat Mr. Baiting pants.

The only time I remotely snapped when he said something was he has taken to saying "Very Good" all the time, he got this from OW, I know this because she said "Very Good" 4 thousand times on the tape I have. He said "Very Good" about something to me...and I said "DON'T SAY THAT!" I didn't explain myself, just told him not to say it...LMFAO, can we say trigger?

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(Remember...I'm very good at plan A....further down the alphabet I suck)</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That was PHUNNY... and YOU know it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ummm..... Saturday day and night, isn't it her turn t/h the chlidren? If yes, don't you have OTHER plans? Hm....?????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Then if Sunday and Monday are YOUR days, don't you have plans with your children?

David, don't let her use you as the trade off so she can have her A. Don't matter if that dress cost her $500.00. Doesn't matter. If she has the children, it is her reponsibility not yours. Same with your time.

She is a WS, no negogiation with a WS.

JMHO,
L.