I am dumbfounded. My opinion of the human race just keeps sinking. Let me tell you why...

I met this married woman a couple of months ago on Craigslist (no, not the casual encounters section) - she needed some caprentry and plumbing, and I agreeed to barter with her to clean my house in exchange. I enjoy working with my hands - but hate cleaning...

So, of course I am in the midst of the rollercoaster, so I share my whole story about my WW and the A. We developed a good friendship after spending time together or on the phone. (No, this is not heading where you think it is, just be patient) Her husband is also a resident, but living in New York presently...and she has two children. She constantly would lecture me about how I deserved better, and I should never consider reconciliation. She told me that she and her husband had discussed infidelity, and she has made it imminently clear that if he EVER cheated, that the M was over - that very instant. She knows her boundaries, and set them in stone.

So she and I have talked for a long time over the last couple of months, and she has helped me develop a bit of a backbone in setting MY boundaries. I appreciated her advice and friendship.

Well, guess what? I call her the other day and she is really upset - she then breaks the news....her husband had cheated on HER! She has a 3 month old infant for God sakes! What kind of man could do this? Are we as a race this pathetic?

I am starting to wonder if I might be contagious. That I somehow have caught HIV - Human Infidelity Virus, and am spreading it out amongst those I meet. How can this happen to so many people I know?

God help us....


TM

TM - It is amazing how many people are hurt by infidelity. Lots of folks don't tell there friends, workmates, or acquaintances. At first I didn't tell anyone. But since I have been talking about it, you would be surprised at the number of people who let me know that they have, or are going through, the same thing.

Often we think that everyone else has a wonderful marriage, and many times it is not true.

TM. B is right. So many folsk have admitted to me they have been hurt by infidelity and offered me advice its untrue.

Oddly, every single person has said to me " take time. Don't rush anything. Time heals" etc etc.

Back to your point no I cannot imagine what kind of reptile cheats on his W with a new baby, but then again I can't imagine how people cheat at all.

Is she working on the marriage or kicking him to the kerb ?

TM,

I totally disagree with you because unless you were the one who had broken his marital vows and after 'gleefully' telling your story of betrayal to this lady friend of yours, you encouraged her to do the same ["c'mon, what your H won't know won't hurt him but it will give you a lot of pleasure"], and she chose to betray her vows, then yes you'd be absolutely correct that you had infected her with the spiritually deadly human infidelity virus.

The reality is that infidelity is so common these days that most people only see the tip of the iceberg and when they become aware of it [directly or indirectly], they are flabergasted by the enormity of the problem especially when they discover that what looked like a happily married couple, actually had one spouse succumb to it. It is the moral equivalent of the Black Plague.

TMCM

It's so sad how many people in this world are cheaters...and act like it's no big deal.

Was the human race always like this, or is this a recent development...to treat people like disposable/replaceable items?!