My DD10 called here about 15 minutes ago...I told him that he couldn't bring her home until 11pm. So I ran outside and DD19 said I wasn't here...then she called my cell, and I let it go to voicemail, waited a few minutes, went out to my car and started it and then called her....so I could say I was in my car.

So I'm talking to her and asking her what she did, she didn't get her hair cut because the place was closed. She's like where are you? I said "I'm in my car" she said "What did you do tonight?" (I can hear WH in the background going "Tell her she's gonna have to leave the bar") I said "I didn't go to a bar" She said "Where'd you go?" I said "Just running around" She said "Where?" (WH makes another bar comment) Then I hear him say "She's probably with that guy that painted your face." She said "No one painted my face, what are you talking about?" He said "You know your Mom's *Friend* that painted your face" She said "He did a charicature of me, he didn't paint my face" He said "Yeah that guy, she probably went to see him" Then she said "Daddy wants me to tell you that he can't bring me home because his car isn't working very good." I said "It isn't huh?" She said "No...so you'll have to come and get me" (Again more bar comments) and she said "Daddy Stop!" So then I said "Okay honey, I'll be there by 11:00".

So what's up his sleeve on this one? I have to go to his fricken house...I'm just gonna call when I get there and have her come out I guess......he's baiting me again.

-Caren

Caren, DD19 doesn't drive, apparently?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> So what's up his sleeve on this one? I have to go to his fricken house...I'm just gonna call when I get there and have her come out I guess......he's baiting me again.

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HOOK..............LINE.............and SINKER !

This is about the time where I tell WH, You did this to me, I didn't do it to you. Meaning the whole Affair/leaving home/cheating/lying scenario.

What a piece of work you WH is. Can you have DD19 pick DD10 up? If not, call or have DD19 call and say you will be in front of his house at X time. Tell her to watch for you or send your other daughter in. Or tell him you will met at X 24 hour restaurant at a certain time.

Don't let this guy jerk you around. Tell him he can drop DD off in the morning. Tell him he has no control over who you see or what you do. Just because he chooses to do things like cheat on his family, doesn't mean you do.

He needs to stop putting your kids in the middle. Maybe you should tell him that if this unhealthy stuff continues, he probably shouldn't see his daughters or it needs to be supervised by someone else.

STOP THE MADNESS! Don't let him get your goat!

Caren,

Hoping someone else is feeling more clever than I am, and throws you a good plan.

But when WH starts messing with the kids, using them as handy little tools, my first reaction is to get VERY ticked-off.

Think of the kids first... minimize the crap that he's putting them through, as best you can.

Caren -

He is acting like the typical WS when Plan B starts. Plan B allows you to talk to him regarding children. Simply pick your daughter up. Do not talk to him about anything else. Then go home and relax. Don't be drawn into his drama.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lemonman:
HOOK..............LINE.............and SINKER !
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">lemonman, I don't think that was the kind of help Caren was looking for.

Caren:

This situation you are in sucks........BUT as I said to you before........YOU ARE NOT helpless here. You have ultimate responsibility to yourself AND CHILDREN and ultimately CONTROL this situation. I know you feel so overwhemled and helpless........BUT remember you are NOT.

I have seen people do extraordinary things in my life in the most harrowing of times. YOu can STOP THIS MADNESS...YOU REALLY can. YOu can TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR WH's abuse of you and your children. You have way more power then you believe.

Please realize that children carry this "$hit" with them for a long time in life. Don't let your own self admitted addiction to this CURRENLY dysfunctional marriage be a lifetime burden it will be for your children. I cannot fathom what it must be like to be a 10 year old child see their mother in hysterics and on the fringe of virtual breakdown and be in the middle of this chaos with WH tonight.

PLEASE...............FOr the sake of your children, stop this madness. You can rise above this crap and truly GO DARK..........to the umpteenth degree.

I am sorry if I seem harsh ( I don't mean to), but at this point, you are (unknowingly perhaps) subjecting your children to horrors that they may carry with them for a long long time.


Prayers and blessings <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LM

Caren:

I have followed your saga for quite sometime and never posted to you.

I think I have an idea about what kind of man your WH is. From your narrative WH does not seem to be the kind of man you would want your daughters to marry.

Are you sure you want this guy back? Maybe you exaggerate his bad side or perhaps he is very foggy.

I also understand your 19-year-old daughter is from another relationship (not his biological child). I would not let this two spend any time together. Please be careful! Sometimes men will do very wacky things to get back at the wife including romance with the step daughter.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tqt:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lemonman:
HOOK..............LINE.............and SINKER !
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">lemonman, I don't think that was the kind of help Caren was looking for. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">TQT:

With all due respect, I was just reaffirming Caren's hunch of what this is. A BAIT if I have ever seen one. Caren has received excellent advice and support here. However, only CAREN can help CAREN. She has the tools that have been laid out for her here.

For the principles to work, you have to work the principles.

I am supporting caren in my own way, she knows what I mean and knows my intentions towards her. There are more than enough people here to give her the "soothing" support she also needs.

LM

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HOOK..............LINE.............and SINKER !</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree. Caren - arrange a time to pick her up if he won't come thru. Be there for her, and forget him. Pick a neutral spot, she will call you from there, he can wait till you show up and then both of you leave.

Otherwise, let him visit the house, but leave when he gets there...And no other 'leaving the house, since his car can't be relied upon!'

David

Thank you everyone, but I only had like 20 minutes to get advice, and no one had posted by then, so I left and went to get her, I posted what happened on my plan B thread, so as not to confuse anyone.

TQT- No DD19 doesn't drive, she's afraid to learn. Thank You so much for your concern TQT.

Lemonman- I wasn't offended, I understood what you were saying....he did bait me, and I had no choice but to take the stupid bait hook line and sinker....my daughter would have bawled her eyes out if I left her there. (I've been in the car...it goes to 2nd gear and then winds out..and won't go into 3rd). So please everyone...no need to protect me from Lemon.....he's looking out for my best interest, I know how to take what he says, I'm not that fragile LOL!!! I'm sure he knows if he made me mad I'd blast him right back, he just knows I collapsed in my Plan B a few days ago, and doesn't want me back there again.

Grape-
Thank you hon, I need all of your kicks in the butt.

Believer-
He's doing the typical WS handbook thing again....you're right on the money.

Unloved-
Nice to meet you, my WH is being an [censored] right now, he's not normally like this, but then again he's not himself, I've now put him in pain and he has no control over it so he's grasping at straws. My DD19 is not biologically his, and he has never been inappropriate with her...they have never really gotten along, she was 6 1/2 when we got together and she was of the "You're NOT my father" opinion even then...so their relationship has always been strained at best. He's a good man when he's not eyeball deep in fog. There is NO chance that anything would ever happen between him and my DD19, she thinks I'm stupid for wanting him back and states that she will not move with me, or if he moves in here will move out. This is because, if he lived here, he wouldn't want her staying up all night long on the computer (I let her), sleeping all day (When she's not working) and would want her in college (which I'm not pushing her about)...and she KNOWS IT...she's getting away with murder with him not here and she's almost 20...so, I mean if the child wants to move out...she's definitely old enough.

David-
See how easy advising other people is?? LMAO it's so much easier to see what should be done when you're looking at it from a distance, it's harder when you're 2 inches from it....LOL, but I do appreciate your effort.

Okay here's my Plan B Link for what happened:

Caren's Plan B Journey

-Caren