Can anyone explain what "finding yourself" means?!

The more I hear people say they need to "find themselves" the more it sounds like a stupid excuse to avoid the responsibilities of daily adult life. An excuse to back out of a commitment (personal or professional). An excuse to not fix what needs to be fixed. An excuse to act like a juvenile. An excuse.

I believe it was OAK who once so aptly said to someone "if you would take your head out of your a**, you would find yourself!"

I thought it was very appropriate!

Personally, as I have grown and matured over the years, I have decided that the phrase "I am trying to find myself" can be translated to mean "I am profoundly immature." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well, I'm still trying to find myself, but it's taking me so danged long because I have so much responsibility on me that I can't find time to really LOOK for myself! Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to be profoundly immature into old age! LOL!
LC

<small>[ February 20, 2005, 12:41 AM: Message edited by: Lady Clueless ]</small>

well,I just "found myself" in the mirror, with no make up in the middle of the night, and it wasn't pretty!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Oh, I got a peek of myself like that years ago!
(Shudder!)

What I do, since we don't have to worry about privacy issues, is just leave the bathroom door open so the hall light gives me enough light to tend to things, and I do NOT look in the mirror!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
LC

Well, lately I found myself in a heap of trouble, but that's a different story.

Seriously, I think too many people wait for a deep thought to hit them upside the head without any effort...perhaps while sipping cappacinos at Starbucks because they have plenty of time of their hands and plenty of folks making them feel comfortable in life without the searcher having to really commit to anything that cramps their style. Perhaps your fiance is "finding himself" happy living single, but getting to date you indefintely? The question is, how long are your comfortable waiting before you "find yourself" another guy? Only you know the answer that question...perhaps he's worth the wait, perhaps he isn't. Time for an honest discussion and a timetable for how long you are willing to wait for him to find himself ready to commit or not, and if he can't do that, he isn't ready for marriage. JMHO. Good luck. I'm sure this is frustrating to you.

If it's any consolation, it's better to know all this BEFORE marriage instead of after. You don't want to have to come back to this chat room after you are married.

I think I'm going to find myself a glass of wine and should soon find myself asleep shortly thereafter.

Good for you, gentlsoul, for reading her signature! I glossed right over it. It sure puts a different light on her question, doesn't it?

straycat, I have always viewed the dating period as a like a job interview. It is a TEST to see if one qualifies for the job. If the candidate flunks the interview then they don't get the job and it is onto the next candidate. That is exactly how I would view your situation.

I don't know many corporations that would hire someone who lied and cheated in the interview and demonstrated a lack of committment and loyalty. And I have never encountered a corporation that advertised for a candidate with such skills. Just something to think about....

I completely agree with MelodyLane. He's failing the interview miserably. Is he really all that special?

Straycat its a load a frickin' rubbish that what it is.

"finding myself' Its a catch-all excuse not to do anything inconveneint that sums up why most UK folks think therapy is a load of sad toss invented to give Frasier a pretext.

Your fiance is either scare of commitment, or is cake eating and is having an affair.

Only diligent investigation can tell you which IMO.

All blessings.

Hey, I just found myself! I was in between the cushions in the couch. Found my car keys in there too...whew! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

All the best Straycat. Hang tough, whatever you decide.

Thanks for some honest commentary, and some laughs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

He's not happy. His life consists of working (at least 60 hours a week, sometimes more), sleeping, smoking, and nursing various physical ailments. He's a wreck. I doubt another woman would want him the way he is.

Is he worth it? Well, at this moment he really has nothing to offer me. But for some strange reason I still love him. I don't know...I definitely have no interest in meeting anyone else at this time, but on the other hand it's been way too long with him.

He was married once before, and had his first child before he turned 20. I think this is all an early mid-life crisis (going on way too long!).

I think I'm just going to become an old cat lady. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Run, straycat, run fast away, before you become old cat lady with him...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
He's not happy.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Spend your life with a person who is happy ... one of my rules.

Pep